My rant for the day

Adam:

As an older gent, I wish you and your beloved every blessing in the Lord. Just remember the friends of Job. They all had great counsel for Job, didn't they; from the youngest to the oldest, and virtually none of it was right.

You must do what you believe is right before God, and not what I may or maynot believe is right for you.

A good counsellor is slow to speak and long on listening. Again, God bless your union, and give you peace.

Cheers,

Jim

 

There, that's how I feel!

 

I agree with Jim.

I'll tell you my experience. I am one of those older persons. When my husband and I decided to marry, the younger people were the ones who thought we didn't know each other long enough, etc.

One dear young man, 18 years old, said very seriously to me. Are you sure you want to marry Ed? This is a very serious commitment, you know?

I took it as genuine concern for me and told him I was very sure and I considered it a serious commitment.

Other people are for the most part being kind and considerate. Try to look at it that way. Age doesn't make any difference. You should have heard my granddaughters, telling me I was staying out too late, dating too much, etc.

God will direct your Path

 

BettyE changed her name from "Thankful"
yesterday. She signed up as "Thankful"
before she married me. She wasn't
BettyE then But is BettyE now.

May God bless the union of Adam
and BaptistForever. May God increase
the ministry of each by their union.

I'm 59-years-old, pretty near an elder
I married BettyE this very year.
That is probably what she is thankful
about I know i am.

 

They *do* have the benefit of more experience, but they are not always right. However, my parents have gotten a lot "smarter" in the past 15 years than they were when I was in my early 20s.

They weren't right all the time, but their track record was much better than I ever expected.

Certainly. You are certainly wise to understand that.

Yes. I have nothing but contempt for that kind of attitude... Of course it is not limited to parental and family relations, but it is extremely common in churches and on Baptist Board. (If you don't agree with someone who professes to be "conservative", suddenly you're branded a "liberal" or you "don't believe the Bible".)

You just have to ignore that kind of small-mindedness and try to figure out if their point-of-view has any merit. If it does, then make the necessary changes. If it doesn't, go your way in peace.

You should carefully listen to advice from others and learn from others mistakes, but they should also trust you to make sound decisions. If you have a long history of making sound decisions (budget money wisely, stay out of trouble with the law, exercise self-discipline in other areas of life -studies in school, responsibilities taking care of things around the house, paying bills on time), then you are in much better shape to make decisions about marriage. But remember, marriage can be one of the best things or one of the worst things in life. Both of you need to be generous with each other and willing to change. A good marriage requires mutual submission and service to each others needs and is rarely as glamorous as portrayed on television or the movies. Marriage is hard and can be very rewarding.

I hate to say it, but I've been "steady" with 3 women in my life in relationships that lasted over 2 years. I was very picky about who I dated so when if got together with someone, we were compatible in many ways. Two years seems like a long time, but it really isn't very long.

Yep... Just make sure that you aren't being motivated to get married because you want to get into bed together *and* not violate your convictions. Certainly the two of you should probably feel some healthy God-honoring sexual attraction, but don't let that cloud your judgment. No matter how "good" the physical stuff might be for a while, the marriage must be based on more practical matters and the perfect will of God for both of you. If the marriage is lousy, the physical stuff with be lousy or non-existant.

They are probably saying the same thing about you.

Lightning bolts are ready, sir!

[ December 14, 2002, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Baptist Believer ]

 

Adam,
I really understand all your ranting.

I am just so sorry.

How can people be so rude! they just don't even get it! Makes me go Ape!



On a serious note Adam, you really don't think all old people think like that do you? You just got to concider your source, and take it with a grain of salt.

Sherrie

 

Sherrie, if you don't mind, I'll answer that for him....NO, neither he nor I think that but, we both are pretty sick of people, who don't know our situation, are so very quick to jump to conclusions...Yes, we've been steady for quite a while, and that really doesn't seem like we've been together that long, it went by so quick!

My rant on this situation is with my mother:

This is the one that said that it was Satan that was telling us this (or something along those lines) and I don't understand what she could be upset about...

She doesn't feed me, she quit doing that when I was in sixth grade (hey! I was making money, so I can buy my own food), she doesn't pay my tuition, she doesn't clothe me (I've been supplying my own clothes since 6th grade too, again, I was babysitting, making money, why does she need to supply me with anything?)

I've been "on my own" for about 12 years, yes, it really has been that long...

For a woman that doesn't do any parenting to me, why should she be pitching a fit about me leaving?!

Ok, I'll answer that, too!

Easily put, if I leave, she's left with 23 year old bum that holds no responsibility of any kind...he eats her food, uses her utilties, and lives under her roof without paying any rent...Hey! Why should he, he has no job and no money, and since mommy is supplying, why try to make anything of yourself?!

Sorry, I started ranting, but hopefully that sheds a little more light on the topic!

~Teresa~

 

Mercy, I was 28 when I got married--and some folks who have been married for some time--came to me and said, "You don't know what its like to be married!"---heck, marriage is an "on the job trainin'"---you'll botch things up and tear things up and foul up on the check book--and after about 50 or 60 years of marriage--shoot, you'll get the hang of it!!

Go ahead and get yourself married--then make up your minds you're gonna stay that way!

Your friend,
Blackbird

 

Bro. Adam,
If you are both christains then get married and
have lots of kids.

I think two years are a lifetime!

I knew of my husband 2 months before I married him! We didn't even have rings. We got married at the justice of peace, had our reception at Burger King, and went fishing for the rest of the day for the honeymoon. It was the best thing I have ever done.

We have been married almost 10 years now. He's the
love of my life.

Sister in Christ,
Heidi

 

You know, when your married and you have your first knock-down, drag-out fight (and you will!), it doesn't hurt to have had a few nay-sayers that you are dying to prove wrong. It's good motivation to stick with things and make the stinkin' marriage work.....

No one is actually properly prepared for marriage. Everyone does a whole lot of working things out and learning on the fly. But a good marriage is a wonderful thing, and well worth the effort. Don't let anyone spoil your party.

 

Bill?

 

Parents sometimes get very irrational about their children growing up. They don't want to let go and they have a hard time dealing with change.

My father was extremely hard to live with when he realized that I was moving out when I went to college. It seems he worked very hard to make sure we parted on bad terms to "make it easier" for me to leave. In truth, he was having trouble with his children growing up and leaving the house.

After I moved out, everything was fine again and our relationship changed into something much different (and better) than a simple father and son relationship -- we actually became friends who enjoyed spending time together. He didn't feel the need to parent and I didn't feel the need to be defensive anymore.

I suspect your mother is having issues coming to terms with the fact that you are growing up, getting married and leaving the house. Be kind to her and don't burn any bridges. Try to help her through it by showing your maturity and patience.

 

Heidi...are you sure that wasn't my marriage. Course me and my late husband didn't go fishing...he went back to work.

Adam and Teresa....I wasn't making light of your situation. I was merely saying you cannot please everyone. I had no idea it was Teresa's mom.

I am not telling you to disrespect Teresa's mom, but if you both are paying your own expenses now, and both families are wanting you out on your own, well why not just get married and combine those expenses.

You can get an efficiancy apt. until you can afford more. I lived in one when I first moved up that way, with kids.

Life and family isn't always easy. And I realize Teresa you are going through some things with your Mom and Brother, and now Adams parents want him out by May. There is a lot of stress already. Sometimes it is easier to go along with a program, until another out comes along.

And that is the only thing you can do for now. Or get married and move out.

2 years is a long time.

Sherrie

 

It's funny. My grandma & grandpa knew each other for 6 weeks, only 3 of which they actually dated, before they got married. She still likes to tell everyone nowadays that "you are too young; you haven't known each other long enough." I say, "Mamaw, you and Papaw barely knew each other when you got married." Her response is, "Well, times were different and, besides, we were in love." You'll be saying the same thing to the younguns when you're that age. Most of the time, it's pretty hard for older family members to realize just how old one of the younguns has gotten. I'm 6'4" and weigh 300 lbs., but people STILL call me Baby James. I guess I'll always be the baby of the family. God Bless your union. What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. In Love, Bro. James

 

May the Lord bless you as you follow His will for you both.

As I must also be one of those people who does not know you (only been on the board 2 months) I best be careful about giving advice. However, I would say that in 1973 my wife and I got married having known each other for less time than you have. Yes, we still are married

yours, Jon