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My Way or the Highway

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Aaron, Feb 6, 2009.

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  1. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    It is so important that as parents, we reflect God's character in how we treat our children. We are the earthly view of God for them when they're young and by mismanaging our parenting, we can give our children a warped view of God. My mother struggled so much with the idea that her heavenly Father loves her because she had an earthly father who abandoned her as a child and a stepfather who was extremely abusive. That's why I tell new moms to respond to their baby's cry - that God hears our cries and responds and we should do the same for them. It's an amazing responsibility.
     
    #21 annsni, Feb 6, 2009
  2. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    If ALL the kids are maladjusted, then the family was severely dysfunctional. I wouldn't attribute it to strict discipline. Quite the opposite actually. If ALL the kids have the attitudes you've described I'd say the man (and his wife) were inconsistent and arbitrary. Harsh one day and lax the next. Not to mention some of the destructive influences he may have allowed. The kids sound a bit spoiled. I'm just going from what you've described.

    Of course, I don't know the family, but I know human nature, and I know lots of families with parents of varying and assorted character flaws. My inclination is to assume if I were to examine the situation with that man I would come to a different conclusion that you.

    A lot of the old codgers I know who revere the memory of their parents say that's what they're parents were like. These men married well, provided well and built stable families. Some of them, however, were less strict with their own children and their children are leeches.

    Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

    My rules are, of course, for the good of my kids. If I forbid something it is because I deem it destructive. If I require something, it is because I deem it righteous. I have the confidence that God knew how I would raise my kids before He entrusted them to me, and that despite my failures, which He foreknew, things will work out for their good if they honor me and my wife. In fact, the Scriptures promise as much. It's the first commandment with a promised reward.

    Come to think of it. I have never known a man who didn't get knocked around to honor his parents.
     
    #22 Aaron, Feb 6, 2009
  3. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    When I said "the strictest," was speaking of those in the subgroup represented by the "old codgers" I know. We're commanded not to exasperate our children.
     
    #23 Aaron, Feb 6, 2009
  4. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Please explain what you mean by this. It seems like you're saying parents should harm their children physically to teach them respect, and I would hope that's not what you're implying!:eek:
     
    #24 abcgrad94, Feb 6, 2009
  5. Steven2006

    Steven2006 New Member

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    I think consistency is more important that just being strict. Children should be aware of what you value and your standards. I think raised properly (and yes that includes discipline) they would understand that you expect them to grow up not only adhering and honoring your values but grow to appreciate them as well.
     
    #25 Steven2006, Feb 6, 2009
  6. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    Yeah. I think a broken arm and black eye or two works wonders with bad attitudes. Puh-leeze!
     
    #26 Aaron, Feb 6, 2009
  7. John Toppass

    John Toppass Active Member
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    I bet for every parent who in someones eyes they are failures, you can find a parent who was successful using the same parenting skill. ( notice I said skills) What is wrong for one to say maybe just the thing for another to say. What is wrong for one parent to do is just the right thing for another parent to do.
    I got lucky, my Dad never told me how to raise my sons. When asked he said, "Treat them how you wish you had been treated but, treat them so that they understand the consequence to be expected whether it be good or bad."

    I also learned from my parents and passed it on to my boys that "Lying will not be tolerated"

    That sunk in the first time and did more than all books
    written on the subject.

    Of course the success of any child rearing is dependent upon raising them with God's love and being consistent.

    Seems like now-days too many children are just grown and not raised. Remember, weeds grow and gardens are raised.
     
    #27 John Toppass, Feb 6, 2009
  8. Jim1999

    Jim1999 <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

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    And sometimes gardens are razed by weeds!

    What if your parents are totally uneducated and know nothing of all these brilliant do's and don't's, and do not know God as you perhaps do?

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
    #28 Jim1999, Feb 6, 2009
  9. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    I simply asked for an explaination. Your sarcasm is unwarranted, sir.
     
    #29 abcgrad94, Feb 6, 2009
  10. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    O.K.

    Corporeal Punishment: good or bad?

    What of the farmer with eight children who had no time or patience for foolishness, and who clobbered his sons when they were disrespectful or were otherwise direlect in their duties?
     
    #30 Aaron, Feb 7, 2009
  11. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    Does God always clobber upside the head when we deserve it? That is my question. We reflect the Father to our children. We should treat them with no less grace than He treats us.
     
    #31 annsni, Feb 7, 2009
  12. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    Very true, Jim.

    My father was Catholic.
    My mother was Presbyterian.

    Neither went to church, but I always had to go to mass.

    Now, I'm a Baptist! :saint:

    My oldest son is the perfect husband and the perfect father!:love2:

    Three of his children are in their 20's and the youngest is 15. All of them are very good young, devout, people and love the Lord.

    Not only do they respect and love their parents, the siblings all respect and love each other and actually enjoy being around each other AND their parents.

    He raised his family like he did in spite of me...not because of me... I take no credit, but I'll take all the love I can get! :godisgood:
     
    #32 I Am Blessed 24, Feb 7, 2009
  13. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    Did I say the farmer "always clobbered?" Why do you keep reading things into this? Just respond to the question as it is at face value.
     
    #33 Aaron, Feb 7, 2009
  14. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    You said "who clobbered his sons when they were disrespectful or were otherwise direlect in their duties?"

    Does God clobber us when we're disrecpectful or otherwise derelect in our duties?
     
    #34 annsni, Feb 7, 2009
  15. Magnetic Poles

    Magnetic Poles New Member

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    Thank God for mothers who can't see the imperfections and foibles of their offspring. :thumbs:
     
    #35 Magnetic Poles, Feb 7, 2009
  16. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    That's a different question. Do you have a problem with corporeal punishment?
     
    #36 Aaron, Feb 7, 2009
  17. Jim1999

    Jim1999 <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

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    OPINION ONLY" My way or the highway. See a lot of that in here, don't we!

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
    #37 Jim1999, Feb 7, 2009
  18. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    I hear ya, Jim! Loud and clear.
     
    #38 Aaron, Feb 7, 2009
  19. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    This is beautiful! A great testimony, Blessed.
     
    #39 Aaron, Feb 7, 2009
  20. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    Corporal punishment is quite different from "clobbering." Clobbering a child is abuse, whether it results in obedience or not.

    The purpose of discipline is to train a child's heart to know WHY one should do right, not because "daddy will get mad and cause you pain" but because we love God and want to do what's right. Physical punishment might give behavior results for a while, but not a real change of heart.
     
    #40 abcgrad94, Feb 7, 2009
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