Parrot Humor

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by BroTom64, Mar 3, 2009.

  1. BroTom64

    BroTom64
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    There was once a pet store onwer who had a parrot for sale. Now this parrot was very opinionated and very out-spoken. On day a lady entered the store. This lady happened to be one of the stores best customers. She also happened to be blessed with the ability to stop an eight day clock, curdle fresh milk, and it was probably a good thing that her pet dog and cat were both blind.

    When the parrot saw the lady entering the store he winced, looked again and said, "Hey lady, you sure are ugly!!" Well the store owner was upset that the parrot would insult his best customer. (It was also fortunate that the owner was near-sighted). The Owner grabbed the parrot's cage and shooked severely and then told the parrot to watch what he said. The owner the appologized to the lady, promised her a discount, asked her to ignore the parrot and please continue shopping.

    As the lady shopped she was out of sight out the parrot for a while. Suddenly she came around a display of dogfood, right in front of the parrot. The parrot looked stunned for a second and said, "Hey lady you're in the right area, you can pick up a bag of Gravy Train for your supper! Boy, you sure are Ugly!" The owner snached the parrot from it's cage and held it in the sink under the water faucet until the bird was half drowned. He threw the parrot back in the cage and said if you call that lady Ugly one more time I will put you in the Piranha tank.

    The parrot shook his head and began putting it's feathers in order as the lady finished her shopping. When she went to the door she turned to say thank-you in full sight of the parrot. The parrot winced, did a double-take and winced again. The bird looked at the store owner and back at the lady and said, "Hey lady,....





















    YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!"


    Bro Tom
     
  2. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    [​IMG] "That was a good one!"
     
  3. BroTom64

    BroTom64
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    Parrot Humor II

    Well the pet store owner finally sold the vocal and opinionated parrot. The new owner was a pastor who was sure he could reform the parrot. The pastor feed the parrot locust and unleavened bread. He gave the parrot spring water and occasionally Welch's Grape Juice to drink ( in small plastic cups). The pastor keep the radio on the local Christian Station (Non-Charismatic), and the TV was only turned on for Billy Graham Specials and Charles Stanley.

    After several months of this, the parrot showed a remarkable change in language and attitude. The pastor desided to take the parrot to Church and use it as an object lesson on what we allow in our live affects our witness.

    As the congregation began to enter the Church building that Sunday morning, the parrot began to look at the people as if he knew some of them. The pastor began to notice that the parrot was muttering something. As each person entered the parrot would stare at them and mutter a little louder. Some the pastor could here that the parrot was saying "Honky-Tonk, Honky-Tonk" over and over and louder with each person entering.

    The pastor said to the parrot, "No, this is Church". The Parrot got a little louder, "Honky-Tonk, Honky-Tonk". The pastor said, "No this is Church"

    The parrot turned to the pastor and said, "Different building Same Crowd".


    Bro Tom
     

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