Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by Palatka51, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. Palatka51

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    Oct 25, 2007
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    ~ Two of our male pastoral staff members were out calling on people who had visited our church the previous week. When the people answered the door, the first pastor, being a little nervous and accustomed to introducing his wife, said, "Hi, I'm Mike and this is my wife, Steve." The couple they were visiting DID come back to church. (Jeff)

    ~ My Granddad once shared some information about missions during a Sunday morning service. He had arranged that a short film be shown at the end of his talk. When he was ready, he announced, "And now we are going to show the strip-film." (Meaning "film-strip" of course). There were sounds of choking laughter throughout all the congregation. (Christy)

    ~ A pastor friend of mine tells the true story of performing a memorial service for a guy (I'll call him Pat) that he didn't really know. The man's wife (I'll call her Chris) was at the service. The pastor performed his duties flawlessly, or so he thought, until someone slipped him a note informing him that Pat was actually alive and sitting in service and that it was Chris who was in the casket! He had obviously mixed up names that were easily interchangeable as male or female names. (Mark)

    ~ One Sunday our pastor was preaching and made a statement that he wanted to specify a condition for. His exact words were: "However, there's a but. Listen carefully to my but..." The musicians were all sitting in the front row, and all dissolved in howels of laughter, followed by a surprised expression from the pastor. Kind of reminiscent of Isaiah 26:18 (KJV) "we have as it were brought forth wind" (Tim)

    ~ In the 1970s it was politically correct to have only two children, a trend that the pastor of the church we attended deplored. Because he often said so publicly, he once commented, "I think that when there are many children in a family, everyone must think it's my fault!" I don't believe he ever realized how it sounded. (Rosemarie)

    ~ We once had a pastor who had served in the military and was fond of using powerful "combat" sermon illustrations. He failed to make the impression he wished, though, the morning that several of us giggled at his referencing soldiers wounded in Iraq by "exploding IUDs." (Elizabeth)

    ~ There are many times when I wish I had better communications with the people picking the music for the service. One Sunday my sermon was entitled "The Way to Hell" - immediately following was the song "Won't You Come Along With Me?" (Gordon)

    ~ A few years ago, the church I was serving had a time in the Sunday morning service for members of the congregation to share prayer requests, and then someone would pray for them. It was my Sunday, and I took several requests, jotting them down. One lady asked for prayer for her daughter, who was scheduled to have a biopsy. I made my notes, finished taking requests and began to pray. As I prayed for her daughter, I prayed that she would come through her AUTOPSY just fine, with positive results. Most of the people in the crowd managed to hold their laughter, but there were several snickers and chuckles. After I concluded the prayer with "Amen," the entire congregation burst out laughing. I had no idea what was going on until someone told me what I had said. I was embarrassed, to say the least. Needless to say, the daughter came through the "autopsy" just fine. (Jeff)

    ~ We knew the Deacon who was giving the Offering Prayer was anticipating a fried chicken dinner when he mistakenly said: "Lord, bless these gifts and their gizzards!" (Judy)


    A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from algebra class as a weapon of math disruption.


    Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it!


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