Pastor's Close Friends??

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by drfuss, Jul 8, 2013.

  1. drfuss

    drfuss
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    Should a pastor have his close friends in his church creating a possible clique? Or should he try to develop his social life in the community outside his church? His outside social life could include: other pastors, civic clubs, country clubs, neighbors, etc.
     
  2. Zaac

    Zaac
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    Pastors should probably keep their circle of close friends very small depending on the size of the church. It becomes especially difficult when a pastor is well known cause folks will try to befriend him for the wrong reasons.

    If you're in a small community, he'll probably have a close relationship with more people.

    In larger communities, it does create a sort of clique environment if the pastor befriends certain people.
     
  3. Earth Wind and Fire

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    I totally agree....friends too often become favorites & thats not healthy in any business environment...especially one as important as Church.
     
  4. Tom Bryant

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    I think our close friends should be in the church. Mine are with our leaders. We try to do life together. The people of the church understand the need for pastors to have friends. The civic groups you mentioned are terrific for building witnessing relationships (for me), but not close friends.
     
  5. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire
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    Huh....Country Clubs!!! Really
     
  6. drfuss

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    Could it be that those who do not understand have left?

    Before I retired, I was the head of an organization. Our training programs warned us not to make friends with the employees and their families who worked for us.
     
  7. Gib

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    I'm not the pastor, but a lowly staffer. We go together to the associational meetings for pastors. There are 3-4 distinct cliques that tend to stick together.

    We were early to the latest meeting. Everyone stood around talking about their numbers. Oh, how exciting (yawns). But as soon as more people came in the circle split into the different groups.

    From that point, it was every person not sitting at one of the "group" tables for himself. Pastor and I held our table down. Because no one else sat with us, I got a second piece of red velvet cake that was already at the table when we got there. Not being in a clique for the win.
     
  8. Tom Bryant

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    Actually of our deacons, all have been in the church since I came except 1. I pity the pastor who does build friend relationships in the church. They see me as a fellow believer who has been called to lead and pastor. It keeps me on my toes spiritually because they can see more clearly who I am better than anyone except my wife.
     
  9. JohnDeereFan

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    o be

    It's hard to say. There are two schools of thought: one that the pastor should be open and accessible, the other than the pastor should be...not distant, necessarily, but not familiar.

    I see merit in both arguments. While I'm not really a pastor anymore, when I was, I neither encouraged nor discouraged friendships. Whatever friendships developed...and many very good ones did.... happened naturally and organically.
     
  10. annsni

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    We have a few dear friends at church and we are certainly friendly with those who come to our campus. But we don't go out to eat or hang out with everyone who attends. We are a family who really enjoys being together just by ourselves but it's nice to have a few closer friends. Most of our friends are from church but some are from our past (before we got to this church).
     

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