pastors, how do you deal with these types of people?

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Aki, Feb 11, 2003.

  1. Aki

    Aki
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    how do you pastors deal with these types of people:

    1. people who say negative things about you at your back?

    2. proud attendees/members who show that they are better than you, if there is one?

    3. is the temptation really that big to give special treatment to members who give the largest offerings, especially if they are the "i-want-special-treatment" type?

    on the other hand, how do you deal with:

    4. humble members who attend church and obeys with all humility?

    5. members that are more matured than you?
     
  2. rufus

    rufus
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    Aki, I've been at it long enough now (over 30 years) that I just try to treat all of those kinds of people the way Jesus did (as seen in the Gospels).

    Rufus [​IMG]
     
  3. Jeremiah

    Jeremiah
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    -- Jeremiah
     
  4. blackbird

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    I've been preaching for 15 years now and have run across every statement you made above

    For those who talk behind my back--its a never ending problem that I can't run from. If I quit and take another church there will be another one there way worse probably than the one I've got. I have lots more respect for those who choose to "get in my face" about a problem. Talking behind my back to me is equated with pointing a loaded gun at my back. Lilly livered chickens are the ones talkin' behind my back. Humility challenges folks to go ahead and face me with the problem--very, very few do though. It is rare that I have a face to face confrontation. Mostly its behind my back.

    Folks who think they are smarter than me? Gives me incentive to do my homework a little bit better. If some fool wants to pop off about the financial statement--and I know its comin'--I'll give myself a week or so to "comb over" the statement for the upcoming business meeting--then I'll get with my financial chairman and we go over it over and over until I have it memorized. All I have to do is prove that I am "more on top of things" than that smarter person. Not long ago we had a question arise concerning Robert's Rules of Order. Fortunately I am pretty much versed on the dynamics of the book and business order--well, when some guy tries to "outverse" me on the certain rule--I've got a clue as to where I need to go with it--of course, in a humble way--I wouldn't embarrass anyone to same my life!

    As for humble folks--God bless 'um! Almighty God gives grace to the humble and resists the proud. I preach that harder than killin' pride. Humility kills pride.

    But that's just me!

    Blackbird
     
  5. archie

    archie
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    Pray for them all. If it gets to negative we go to them and warn them. Thank God for those members who do right.
     
  6. Andrey

    Andrey
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    Sometimes, God uses people I don't like so that He can humble me.

    I have been accused of loving humble pie, since I order it so often! <grin>

    God is in charge, no one else.

    <><
     
  7. Ben W

    Ben W
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    Treat people as how any other holder of an office within the church would.

    Mallicious gossip is one to discipline though, be it concerning the pastor or any of the brethren.
     
  8. Pastor_Don_Kirk

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    At first I take an elder with me, and talk to that person and try to explain to the "treat me better" person, that my duties are to everyone.

    If that does not work, then I put together a sermon about the duties of the pastor, elders, deacons, members, etc....... and I state boldly in that sermon, that if people cannot accept me doing my job as God has instructed me to do, then maby they might do better attending another church. I add into the sermon, that there are (unfortunantly) many pastors out there who will be glad to oblidge them; and teach them many non-Christian belief's; which will probably take them straight to life eternal in Hell.

    If you don't feel comfortable making such a sermon, then how about a guest speaker (me). I would be more than happy to address such topics.

    As a street minister without a regular congregation (I have two board members and me; and I'm not on the board), I'm free to speak; and I'm willing to hit hard, if you have a church-body, that doesn't want you hard-hitting. I'm just there for a day, or week. I'll take the flack; and hard-hit for you. I'm preaching God's word, not appeasing your church members. At the worst, they will instruct you to never have me speak there again. If that happens, then that should be your cue to look for a good church; and leave them with one heck of a hard-hitting Sunday.

    Don Kirk
    My Oregon Home # (541) 677-9850
    106 Calypso Ln. Roseburg, OR 97470

    [ March 12, 2003, 06:44 PM: Message edited by: Pastor_Don_Kirk ]
     
  9. MusicPastor

    MusicPastor
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    As long as we are in human form, we will act like humans. That's what will make heaven so wonderful, the corruptible will put on incorruption. Until then, we must acknowlege others and believe that God's sovereignty brings people with opposing opinions in order to accomplish His will for us. His will may include helping them grow, helping us grow, helping the church grow together, etc....I'm dealing with one of those people right now. It's hard not to be defensive and to make a neutral response, but to be an ambassador of Christ, we must be ready to respond as He would. When it's a pharisee, point out the hypocrisy. When it's a childish person, ween them off the milk and to the Word. Welcome to ministry. :eek:
     
  10. Jude

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    1. people who say negative things about you at your back?

    I CONFRONT THEM PRIVATELY. THAT USUALLY ENDS IT.
    (IF NOT, GET A BAZOOKA! [​IMG] )

    2. proud attendees/members who show that they are better than you, if there is one?

    NOT MUCH PROBLEM HERE FOR ME. I SUPPOSE IF ONE IS CONFIDENT IN WHO HE IS "IN THE LORD", THEN THIS WON'T BE MUCH OF A ISSUE. DON'T GIVE THEM ANY SATISFACTION...DON'T LET 'EM SEE YOU SWEAT.

    3. is the temptation really that big to give special treatment to members who give the largest offerings, especially if they are the "i-want-special-treatment" type?

    I JUST DON'T DO THIS.


    4. humble members who attend church and obeys with all humility?

    I MUST ADMIT THERE ARE FEW OF THESE, IN MY EXPERIENCE

    5. members that are more matured than you?

    IF YOU MEAN SPIRITUALLY HERE, THEN REJOICE! THEY CAN BE A GREAT RESOURCE FOR THE CHURCH...
     
  11. BaptistAndy

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    Pastor Don, I'm new on the board and was catching up on some of the old threads - this is a great idea! We actually had one of our missionaries home on furlough who took care of this in our church. His message was called "In the tents"; it was about the Israelites murmuring in the wilderness and how they would have never started all that right out in the open, in front of Moses - it likely started in private families tents with friends and other family members, then "expanded" if you will into the full blown "murmuring".

    Boy, did our church need that message! You should have seen the looks on peoples faces........

    Andy
     

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