Patience, training and parental responsibility

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
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1 Thessalonians 5:14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.
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Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

I don't remember if it was Blackbird or Sue's preacher's tape that did the word study for 'train up' but the word 'train' is the same word used for the midwives custom of putting a sweet gel on the breast of a new mom which tasted so sweet that the infant would latch on and nurse. The preacher said that we should make our children so HUNGRY for the word of God that when they're older, God's word will be in their hearts, minds and guide them in their decisions.
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How do you TRAIN UP your child?

 

Joseph, these words Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. remind me of the many men of God who will testify that their grandmother sang hymns or psalms while working or they would hear their mother praying for them at night....

 

Training up my child. I try to be slow to anger and I try and listen more than I yell. But, there are certian times I cannot do that. So I tend to use what they know.

Guilt trips. This works with my kids more than just about anything. I have spanked but, I found it does no good. Consequences are the best actions. If they yell, they have to sit down until they realize that yelling is not a good thing It gives them time to calm down and think about thier actions.

Chores. The more they mouth off the more chores that they collect. This is a good one. My oldest has a way of letting her mouth override her butt. So, what I do is make her chores reflect her mouth. This one works wonders.

Grounding works too as long as it's not too long.

These are the ways i try to keep order and train up my kids. Teaching them it's not ok to yell and fight, that losing ones temper only makes it worse on themsleves and somone else. And , to make them realize that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy .

oh yes one more thing .. Hate is a four letter word in our home. IF you use that word, it's as bad as saying the "F" word.

 

Good answers Lea! I tell the children I keep that there is NEVER an excuse for hitting each other.

Nick has been swatted 2 times in his almost 10 years and that was when he was in danger but would not respond to my 'no'. It was also through a diaper and overalls. He cannot remember it because it was at about 3 years old. One swat from me and one from Dad on different occassions.

Southern Baptist Guilt is a good thing. Kept me from doing many things other kids my age did! Mother used to say, 'If in doubt... the answer is NO'. I also had a lifetime of Bible Verses and Sunday School, VBS, GA's, Sunbeams, etc. to guide me in my choices.

In my 4 year old Sunday School class, if a child yells, they're told to please speak kindly to our friends. If it persists, they sit alone in a chair. A child who refuses to come to my 'white tiles' for story time will come because I repeat... Karenna, come sit on the white tile... until she does or after 3 requests we send for her mother. She KNOWS what mom will do. A child who throws himself on the floor in a temper tantrum in AWANA club is stepped over as if he isn't even there. A child who acts out and goes under the table becomes 'invisible'. The other kids are told he is now invisible. When we begin to do something fun, he isn't given a craft or snack and isn't included in the game until he says 'I don't want to be invisible Miss Diane. I'll behave if I can .... play, eat, color...' I always follow through with any remarks like 'Noah, if you hit again I'm going to send for your father.' NO amount of crying after the 3rd hit will dissuade me from calling his parent. I said it and I do it. To do otherwise is lying.

Am I mean? NO! Am I firm? YES! A family was leaving church on Wednesday night and their little 3 year old son was walking slightly behind. 'Where are we going, Miss Diane?' 'What are we doing, Miss Diane?' I'm telling him that church is over and we're going home and that it's time for baths and bed, etc. His parents head out the main doors and I head round to the AWANA office to find Drew has come with Miss Diane. Here comes Dad who explains that 'He's really taken to you.' If being firm with a child is unkind, these kids sure don't realize it. On the contrary, a child needs structure and a child needs a parent to be consistent. Children feel SAFE when the adult is in control of both themselves and the child.

There's never an excuse to lash out in anger and strike a child.

I may come home with a headache but the children go home knowing I love them enough to make them be the best they can be.

Diane