People questioning others character

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by patrick, Aug 3, 2005.

  1. patrick

    patrick
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    I was looking at some posts this morning. I found one that said, I could not be trusted. I will not call a name because, I don't want to get into a sensless fight with a senseless person. I am a man of high character and I feel you were out of line
     
  2. OCC

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    I'd say who it is.
     
  3. Jim1999

    Jim1999
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    Patrick, In my opinion, you are quite correct. You know where you stand before God and man, and that is what counts. It is futile to engage in personal attacks and not fruitful at all.

    Cheers, and God bless, mate,

    Jim
     
  4. patrick

    patrick
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    James,

    I made one mistake and posted part of a private conversation once. I aplogized to the man. I am truly sorry about that. I will not cause him any discomfort. He is angry and bitter towards me. I will not make the same mistake twice. That was my fault and I hope he will forgive me.
     
  5. OCC

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    Ok Patrick, no problem. Maybe I gave bad advice I don't know. I myself at times would say who it is and at other times I would not.
     
  6. TexasSky

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    Patrick,

    Hang in there. I remember the thread you are speaking about, and I have no doubt at all that you are a man of high integrity. I think Satan totally delights in Christians attacking Christians.

    One of my pet peeves in life is the way Christians tear one another down. It was rampant in the political arena of the Christian Coalition, and I have seen it in churches. Oddly, the same people who often attack the fine Christians with vague comments like the one made about you, are the same ones who turn their head the other way when someone is openly indulging in sins like adultry.

    If it is any comfort - remember - God forgives us according to how we forgive others. If the man won't forgive you - he has more of an issue with God than with you.

    God bless you. Don't worry about our opinion of you. We still respect you.
     
  7. Jim1999

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    One thing about anger is that generally only one person suffers; the one who is angry. The other party seldom knows that the other is angry. This just shows the futility of anger.

    The scripture does say, "Be angry and sin not, but let not the sun settle on your anger..." There is a place for anger, but it is to be short lived.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  8. AVL1984

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    Patrick, I will gladly admit that it was me who made the post about your inability to be trusted in that you could not keep a private conversation private. It shows lack of character, especially as a minister. It also shows that people should not ever come to you for counselling unless they want everything they've told you to be spread all over.

    As far as anger is concerned...I'm not angry with you. I am, however, disappointed in you, and will continue to stay that way. I have received no apology from you as you say, at least not that I recall. If I have I apologize for not realizing it was an apology.

    I see you still have a problem, though with easily hurt feelings. If I hurt your feelings by calling you a "troll", I apologize. I would recommend that anyone posting a private message or sending you private email be careful, though. In that area, you have lost my trust, and that is something that will not be regained in the near future.

    All the rest of you, slam me all you like. I have better things to do with my time than to worry what people like you think about me. It's easy to hear one side and jump to conclusions....you all do it so well.


    AVL1984
     
  9. OCC

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    "I see you still have a problem, though with easily hurt feelings"

    So do most people on this site...pretty much everything I say causes someone to have hurt feelings.
     
  10. AVL1984

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    LOL...James, you and I disagree sometimes, but at least we agree to disagree and move on. It hasn't been so with the OP. My feelings don't get hurt easily, nor do I stay angry long. However, that being said, once bitten, twice shy.
     
  11. OCC

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    Yes I try to agree to disagree with most people. Some of them are hard to do that with and want to "battle". Most times it is hard for me to resist engaging in that battle. Pray for me please. God bless.
     
  12. TexasSky

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    AVL1984,

    At the risk of you accusing me of slamming you - I want to point out a few things.

    1) Unless you asked that the conversation be private, and unless you made it clear to Patrick that your notes to him were meant to be "congregant to minister" confidential - you cannot accuse Patrick of betraying your trust.

    2) Patrick never identified you in the prior posts, and addressed the issue raised in those prior posts. Again - that is NOT a betrayal of confidence. If someone came to a minister and said, "I'm having an internet affair, is it wrong?" And he later did a sermon on the rightness or wrongness of such affairs, it would not be wrong to do so.

    3) Sending someone a private message and calling them a troll is wrong. Period. You know that or you wouldn't care that it came out on the open board, and you can't insult a minister in private like that and then claim the right to confidentiality when the minister objects to that kind of behavior.

    The private message system of the board shouldn't be used to make those kind of attacks on individuals.

    4) Patrick was asking for advice when he brought it all public. He has a right to do that.

    5) EVEN if Patrick had been 100% wrong - it does not give you the right to slander him later.
     
  13. Rachel

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    It's not right for people to call each other trolls (among other things) on the open board either, but I see it alot here. What's up with that?
     
  14. OCC

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    They call people like me that cuz they don't like when I am blunt with them. But they feel it's ok to be blunt with me. Go figure.
     
  15. rsr

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    But common netiquette holds that revelation of private messages without consent is a violation of decorum. Not a hanging offense, but in bad taste.
     
  16. TexasSky

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    RSR -

    He didn't reveal the content of a private message though. He spoke in very general terms that day. Something like, "Is it right for someone to call me a troll in PM?"
     
  17. Petrel

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    Yes, then we all get to criticise Person X on the public forum while he has no chance to defend his point of view without unveiling and making what he considered a private disagreement very public. Not exactly fair! :(

    Unlike real life, message boards have a pretty clear public/private divide. I'll second rsr--netiquette convention is that private messages not be discussed in public without prior permission.
     
  18. TexasSky

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    Petrel,

    Of course they could try to defend their words without revealing who they are. Assumning, of course, there is a defense for name calling.
     
  19. Petrel

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    This has the same outcome! Because then even if they can conceal the fact they sent the original message, the fact that they have this opinion has been made public!

    In netspeak terms, a troll is someone who starts arguments for the pleasure of irking people. I don't support "name-calling," but there is such a thing as accuracy in terms.

    I'm not accusing Patrick of being a troll because I really have no idea what the argument is all about, I'm just saying there are times when calling someone a troll is just being accurate!
     
  20. OCC

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    Maybe accurate but the only ones who are called trolls are the "unpopular" ones with the unpopular opinions. Everyone else can start arguments and call names, etc. but they are excused. That is bunk.

    However I acknowledge that private messages are just that...private.
     

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