Please help me to understand.

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by intojesus, Jun 13, 2005.

  1. intojesus

    intojesus
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    I have a question and would like to hear your thoughts. Our Pastor has put his son on the church staff doing an internship. This will be a paid position. His son is 17 and has not had any college as yet. He has just graduated. His son also has not lived a standard in which that you could call blameless(I won't elaborate). We have quite a few students graduating that are going to be pastors or go into missions, it just feels like they should be given the same opportunity. The son is going off to college to be a worship pastor. It sounds like church politics but maybe I am way off base, I need to hear from some godly people out there that could shed light on this for me.
     
  2. Jeffrey H

    Jeffrey H
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    Does your church give your pastor the authority to make appointments to the staff?

    Did the Pastor make this decision on his own or was it a decision that was agreed (voted) upon by the whole church?
     
  3. intojesus

    intojesus
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    The decision was made at a buisness meeting. They have a very low turnout for business meetings. Just a handful show-up. And it was put as an internship with no name given and then it was after the fact that they voted that they would offer an internship that it was stated that it would be the son. To be honest I have never seen anyone challenge the pastor anyway. I just wanted to hear thoughts. I always thought an internship took place while you were in training at college. You go off to college and recieve training and then you look for chances to intern somwhere during the summer. This is a 17 year old fresh out of high school. And to be put on a salary, I don't know????????
     
  4. Gib

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    Sounds a little fishy, but only from reading your post. How do others in the church feel about it?
     
  5. WallyGator

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    Sounds like a very familiar scenario. Pastors have a tendancy to s t r e t c h the limits, especially concerning family.
     
  6. TexasSky

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    Some ministerial internships do start before college, if the individual has been a youth leader, or done a great deal of work for the Lord. I think it would have been better had they told you it was the Pastor's son, but there could be many reasons they did not. Perhaps they feared prejudice against "hiring family" would have prevented the young man from obtaining the position. Do you approve of the young man? Do you usually approve of the Pastor?
     
  7. Aaron

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    Those who do not vote side with the majority. It seems there is very little interest in the policies of the church, or very high confidence in the pastor.

    The pastor may not have mentioned he wanted his son in the internship in order not to prejudice the members.

    Either way. What's done is done. If you have concerns about the boy's qualifications, then you need to take them to the business meetings.
     
  8. fatbacker

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    I believe the Pastor was wrong for not mentioning his son as the intern no matter what the situation. First of all because if there was something to hide then it is already wrong. Second if he truly believed his son deserved the position and the son served well in the church (sounds like he does not, but that is hearsay) then the rest of the church members at the meeting would have had no problem with it.

    It is easy for anyone to give their family members a boost up above others, we can think we are doing them favors even when it is not teaching them to set goals for themselves.

    Last comment. Even if he is wrong and you disagree do not turn it into a gossip column at the church. Sitting around and grumbling will not change what has happened (not saying your are grumbling). But some you discuss it with may be just looking for an excuse to accuse the church for something.

    Maybe ask your pastor why they did not mention the interns name first. Go to the source.
     
  9. intojesus

    intojesus
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    The reason I posted the question is because I did not want to discuss it with people at church. I do not believe in tearing down the body. As far as his qualifications he is a gifted young man. My problems with him and so many others problems have been his self-centered attitude, his arrogance, his untrufulness, his ability to know all personal business in the church and share it with others, his Romeo charm(hopping from girl to girl leaving a trail of broken hearts), his cruelness, and his I am the Pastors son and noone will hold me accountable.(believe me people have tried and were shot down). Several years ago a family tried to hold him accountable for his behavior toward their daughter I have heard the boys mother(Pastors wife) verbally tear that family down(Her reply was he was just trying to make something boring fun) In fact that's what happens, you try and hold any of the children accountable you get tore down. I am in a LARGE church but I have been there from the ground up and because the church is so large only those inside know the true nature of the Pastors son. The only thing most of these members see is a boy with an angels face and an angels voice, who sings and raises his hands in praise. As far as the rest of the Pastors kids, pure nasty to others. All of them. I love my church, I love the other 3 Pastors(family Pastor, Associate. Pastor, Worship Pastor) but I struggle with the other issues. I know there is not a thing I can do but I can pray and I can use this wonderful board to vent my frustrations. I vent them to God too all the time. Thanks all who answered.
     
  10. intojesus

    intojesus
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    p.s.

    I should alse mention that not only is he gifted he has an extremely charismatic personality and charm. As my grandmother use to say he could charm the boots off of a rattlesnake. Pray for the new girl in his life, she is from Virginia he met her on a missions trip and she only really knows him through e-mails and phone calls. She will be visiting in a few weeks.
     
  11. AVL1984

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    Hearing only one side of this issue, I don't believe ANYONE should be commenting on it, except to advise intojesus to go to the pastor and through the Biblical channels for disagreements between church members or entreating an elder. That's just my take on it.
     
  12. intojesus

    intojesus
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    fyi in the past myself and others have tried to set up meetings regarding issues, we were refused. I only came here to try and understand not to cause trouble. You don't know my name, nor my church, I was just trying to connect with others that might have had similar problems. For the rest of you that have reached out to me thanks.
     
  13. Jeffrey H

    Jeffrey H
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    You don't give enough information for me or anyone else to help you to your satisfaction. Based simply on your original post, I would say there are "politics" involved and your pastor should give full disclosure of intern candidates he is aware of. His son was probably not the best choice and your church should have asked more hard questions at the business meeting. Your Pastor needs more accountability and less "Yes" men around him.
     
  14. intojesus

    intojesus
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    Truth be told I am not looking for a solution I think I was just looking for a safe place to vent. I don't want to vent to members of the church because that would be gossip. So coming here was just a safe way to vent frustration. I know I need to continue to submit under the authority God has placed over me. But I cling to Gods promise, "You reap what you sow" I had a student say to me not to long ago, everything comes so easy for him(our Pastors son) yet he treats others so badly. My answer is God sees and knows. Its Gods timing not ours. The young man will head off to Liberty University this fall and there it won't matter who your father is because he will probably be one Pk among thousands. Thanks for giving me a safe place to ramble.
     
  15. dianetavegia

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    Well, the one good thing that might come from this is that if this young boy is an intern under his father, the father may begin to better see his actions and be led to work on those behaviors with his son. Pastor's are VERY busy people and this man may only see the angelic face, hear the angelic voice and see 'holy hands' lifted to heaven. Also, face it, just about every father wants his son to be popular with the girls.
     
  16. AVL1984

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    Again, there are Biblical avenues you should take. If you've asked and others too and been refused, then you should go with two others to voice your grievances, whether it is by appointment or a pop in visit. If he won't hear you then, take it before the church. Whether I know your name or church is inconsequential. It says something about your character and gives me a bit of insight into your side and motives. Again, have you taken all of the proper scriptural steps? If not, then you should use that avenue first.
     
  17. AVL1984

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    Not trying to cause trouble here into....but aren't you gossiping here, also? Just a thought.
    I do agree that the pastors son probably wasn't the best choice for the job, but it is only a temporary thing. I would say pray, keep your eyes on the Lord, and let HIM handle it. If your pastor is doing something that is unscriptural, then I would suggest another church. If not, then the choice is still yours. If you're not happy there, and it sounds like you're not, then maybe you should consider serving elsewhere.
     
  18. intojesus

    intojesus
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    I am happy there. I love my Pastor. I understand what it is to look at your child through the eyes of pure love. I never intended this to sound like gossip I am sorry. I will consider this subject closed.
     
  19. intojesus

    intojesus
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    Please go ahead and delete this thread, I would not want to shed any bad light on this board. Please forgive me if this came off to some as gossip.
     

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