Prejudiced Friendship?

Joe, I am one of "those" kind of people. Always have been. I'm not trying to pretend. I feel everyone needs a friend, and there can almost always be something likeable about just about anyone. You just have to look a little harder. Besides, even if I don't really mesh with that person, being seen with someone a little more well know automatically makes someone new seem more open and accessible. People fear the unknown. Yes, I used to get hurt a lot doing this, but I am now at a point in my life where I am secure enough within my own life and church that I'll easily forget about any perceived slight. It's true I don't do well with groups who need someone who isn't a dreamer as much, but I actually do very well with very young children. They love my quirky humor, and parents feel comfortable with this tiny, funny woman for whatever reason.

love,

Sopranette

 

Agreed.

Not sure what you mean, could you clarify?

Sounds great. Didn't you post a few times that you couldn't find a job to do in church? I guess you found a job, working with the kids. Wonderful :thumbs:

I suspect those Ladies I was referring to aren't really like you. But I don't know them well. They wear a headcovering (I think it is a headcovering). A long piece of material which covers her hair AND she wears really long, old fashioned dresses. Smiles at everything.

I gave her various cans of paint, then painted one wall for her. Only took like an hour so it was no problem. The paint was extra cans lying around the garage. Now she wants to come over and show me how to sew a dress. I complimented her on her dress one day, said it was pretty so she wants me to learn how to make one for my wife. My wife doesn't like her dress but I told her she will have to wear it to church if I make it for her.

Sometimes I wonder ... Why would anyone want to come to my house and show me how to make a dress for my wife? She isn't anything like me so I don't know why she keeps talking to me at church but I am sure it's all legit and she is a nice lady. She is one of the few I usually don't talk to much. They have a bunch of kids so hopefully, she will bring them. I might make a nice lunch ahead of time. She has the cutest little baby so I hope I get to hold her baby while she sews my dress for me! That's my plan. All her kids are neat kids.

Pastor says he is dropping by so maybe the whole thing amuses him.

One of her sons really likes me, he's a really funny kid. He's 7. He sits by me in church sometimes but still calls me Mr."" though I told him he could call me by my first name. He says he is not comfortable with that so he'll call me Mr. "insert my last name "

 

I answered 'yes' to five of those but then that's not surprising as the North West of England is hardly the Mid-west. In some cases, they have been more acquaintances than friends though.

 

Prejudiced friendship? Yean I got a couple of 'em, I guess - prejudices, that is.

Personally, I try to avoid those who want to be known as the religious crowd, but rather associate and be friends with those great saints of Scripture, such as Noah, Jacob, Peter, Solomon, Jonah, Job, Rahab, David, Paul, and Lot, to name 10 of the Scripture's heroes. These are folks whom I can identify with - Scriptural heroes- and are the saints I expect to be found among, when the Lord returns.

The way I got it figured out, that's:

1. a drunken sailor;

2. the greatest 'cheat' in history;

3. a Christ-denier;

4. the biggest w@m*nizer in history;

5. the most reluctant preacher and worst bigot in history;

6. the biggest egoist;

7. a pr*stit#te;

8. an ad*lterer and murderer;

9. the chief of sinners, and

10. 'Hizzoner', the Mayor of Sod*m.


Yep!! These saints are the ones I can identify with, and will be found among! :godisgood:



Hmmm! Kinda sounds a little bit like that OP list, on second thought.

BTW, one of these is the only human individual ever said to 'repent', of anything, in Scripture. (Job 42:6)

Just thought I'd toss that one in, for free!

Ed

 

LOL, Saggy! Most of those sound curiously like some of my family members!

Lets see:

(ya'll should know that in first cousins alone I have well over 70, you can figure out for yourselves about how many aunt & uncles there are. )

Smokes- about 50/50

Gay- with this many family members it would stand to reason there'd be at least one! There might be more, but only one was brave enough to come out of the closet.

Drugs and alcohol- does 'em, grows 'em, distills 'em. Yep, got you covered there too.

prost*t*tue- at least occasionally for a couple of relatives, but no one who does so for a living (that I know of. )

sh*ckin, divorce, adultry- back to about 50/50.

abusive- got those too. Can't get around it considering all the sh*ckin, divorce and adultry. Even worse there was at least one who knocked his wife around without provacation (there is no excuse for abuse!).

But you forgot the theives and murderers and we have them too. In fact I am great friends with a (4th?) cousin whose great-great grandfather killed my great grandfather!

Thank the Lord that He loves us in spite of our shortcomings! The very same God that loves me (meaning I don't do any of those things and never have), sent His very own Son to die for my family too!

Isn't God good?

:flower:

 

Cyndi, you must have some very amusing family reunions!

 

Lol, jOE! I'm guessing she's just thinking of a way to repay your kindness. Either that, or she wants something to keep her busy at your place. I'd scratch my head over that one offer, but obviously she just wants to do something nice for you in return. Personally, I'd rather learn a neat little trick in the kitchen, and I would just know a woman like that has a few up her sleeve, but it's sweet none the less. The only place I'd wear a dress made by DH is in the dark.
For the part you quoted; well, people are constantly looking for visual cues about everyone around them, mostly subconsciously. If a person is standing in the corner, arms crossed, or buried in their cell phone or video game, it means, "leave me alone!". But if others are watching that person engaged in light conversation, it makes that person more approachable. It could be just, "Hey, so and so brought their world famous chocolate cake! Would you like me to grab a slice before it's all gone?". Just a little thing like that is very easy to do.

love

Sopranette

 

I agree, she probably is trying to repay with kindnes. They are new to the State (area). Pastor said she was very isolated where she lived prior.
Her dress reminds me of Holly Hobbie, a doll my sister had growing up. Maybe you remember them? We had Hollie Hobbie pillows and bed sheets.
It has a flowerly pattern with lace, though it's not the typical brown color of Hollie Hobbie. A white, somewhat frilly apron ties around the back. It would be beautiful on my wife with some light colored boots.

She has the prettiest green eyes which match her dress. she is really homely looking. Wears no make up, and her hair appears her natural color.

It would be exciting to make up her face with my wife's cosmetics and curl or style her hair with hair products like gel. Maybe even highlight her hair with a blond color. Whether I pay the hairdresser or highlight my hair at home, you can't really tell much difference.
Her dress is beautiful but it doesn't fit her shape properly. Whatever shape that is. She wears it like a sleeping bag.

You're sooo bad ROFLOL!

 

Joe, I wouldn't say anything about her looks. First, it's inappropriate, and second, it's not right to touch another woman's hair or do her makeup. Just my two cents worth. Only a close friend is allowed to do these things. Welcome to a woman's world!

love,

Sopranette

 

I invited their family over for lunch after this Sunday Service. She can't get the material to make the dresses for a while anyways, dropped by a few different patterns to look at. So I'll know them better by that time.

I doubt she holds to the views you describe, or at least not with me. Already told her she had pretty eyes which matched her dress, doubt she thought much of it or she wouldn't have offered to help me learn to sew.

She was excited to see the big bag of Mary Kay make up samples I had. Little eye liner pencils and lip liners, eye shadows, blush, etc..Most of our friends are outdoorsy so the women don't wear much make up, including my wife. She mentioned they are strapped financially so make up is an "extra" she hasn't been able to purchase. So she can take it with her, or put it on herself while she is here. It's fine but I would kinda like to see the change in her appearance, but it doesn't make that much difference.

I am not doubting you, as you may be in the majority. Yet here in California, we have many male hairdressers with female clients, they also do make up. Never heard of it as being wrong. Also male massage therapists do professional massages on women, never heard of that being wrong either. But I'll play it safe,not bring it up unless she asks me to do her hair. I have a bleach kit she can take home Thanks for the thoughts, I will heed some of them

Joe

 

Are you hair dresser Joe?

 

No



........

 

Then you shouldn't be touching this womans hair, or anything else. It isn't appropriate.

 

deleted post

 

Joe, I think Donna was referring to her face (as in putting make-up on for her). I don't think she meant anything else by her post.

IMHO, it would be inappropriate to fix her hair or put make-up on her. Now it would be a different story if your wife and she became friends and your wife helped her with her hair, etc.

No matter your gender or your age, being alone with a member of the opposite sex is just not a good idea. Satan just waits for situations like this to trip us up...

 

I agree about Satan but a church lady who wears a headcovering? yikes...
She would likely reply similarly about me. That's why I thought it was weird she was talking to me in the first place, we are so different. But they are new to the area, so maybe they need friends

This lady isn't my wife's type of friend but who knows...Our 17 yr old isn't allowed to be alone with a girl so of course, I follow this also. A few of her kids would be here with us. I already offered our 17 yr old son to help out, he likes kids and is home for the summer. I will take your advice. Thanks, Joe