Pure punishment ...

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by PJ, Oct 8, 2008.

  1. PJ

    PJ
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    1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
    Blownapart.

    9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp fence. The police are looking into it.

    12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a-head."

    14. I wondered why that baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the
    Grass."

    16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

    17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

    20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    21. A backward poet writes in-verse.

    22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
    count that votes.

    23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
     
  2. tinytim

    tinytim
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    Help!!!! Bad Jokes Are Attacking Me!!!
     
  3. PJ

    PJ
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    :laugh: :laugh:

    #23 is my favorite pick ...
     
  4. Dr. Bob

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    If I were reading these puns while swimming in the river, I'd think I was simply in Seine.
     
  5. Salty

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    I stopped laughing at # 25
     
  6. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K)
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    When the vulture tried to board a plane carrying two dead rabbits he was told 'Sorry only one carrion allowed.'
     
  7. PJ

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    #24. Thanks Roger ... ;)
     
  8. Amy.G

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    Oh I went to the butcher the other day and bet him $50 he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said “no way man, the steaks are too high.”

    Two cannibals were eating a clown and one looked at the other and said “hey does this taste funny to you?”
     
  9. tinytim

    tinytim
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    None of these are punny!
     
  10. PJ

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    #s 25 and 26. Thanks, Amy. :)

    Time for your nap, little Timmy boy! [​IMG] :D
     

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