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Featured Question about God's will for marriage.

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Jordan Kurecki, Dec 3, 2013.

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  1. Jordan Kurecki

    Jordan Kurecki Well-Known Member
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    Also I do not think it is wise for a decision like this to be made based on the experiences of others or even ourselves. Peter saw Jesus transfigured and he still wrote in one of his epistles that we "Have a more sure word of prophecy." He was saying that the bible is authority and not experiences.

    Give me some scripture for this problem!
     
    #61 Jordan Kurecki, Dec 13, 2013
  2. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member
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    Think that waiting upon the Lord is almost always best thing to do, and to seek approval of the father is best generally, and to have God work it all out as per Romans 8!

    My main point of contention is the assuming that the father will always give support and approval, as know that there are times when they will not, at least not for biblical reasons!
     
    #62 Yeshua1, Dec 13, 2013
  3. sag38

    sag38 Active Member

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    A grown Christian man nor a grown Christian woman needs his or her parents blessing nor permission to marry. Neither are under the authority of their parents any longer especially if they are not living under their parent's roof. To go against their wishes is not to dishonor them. A mom and dad should also honor the decision of their grown child. I do say this with a qualifier. I would not like the marriage of my son to an ungodly woman. I would not perform the ceremony if asked. However, I would do my best love his new wife, treat her with dignity and respect, and display to her the grace of Christ while praying for her salvation.
     
    #63 sag38, Dec 13, 2013
  4. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member
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    isn't it true that in the ultimate sense, we as parents can encourage/suport/speak/coucil/rebuke etc, the two of them must make the decision for their lives together or not before God?
     
    #64 Yeshua1, Dec 13, 2013
  5. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    I have three things to say, Jordan, and I'm about to shoot from the hip.

    #1 What if you don't find a specific scripture telling you to marry with or without permission? How will you base your decision then? The reason I ask is because there isn't any scripture giving a command to have a parent's blessing/permission to marry.

    And your friend? - Well, I would like to see that bible study of his that says that when people married without getting parental blessing it caused sin and hardship and those that married with the blessing didn't have hardship. Really, ask him if you can post it here.

    I'm mean - really - Rebekah has her brother's (and father's) permission even though they said they had no choice, it was the Lord's will and look how that all turned out!!

    We are commanded to honor our parents in the Lord. In other words, respect them always, revere them always, and as long as you live under their roof, and as they give you direction "in the Lord" and the Lord's commandments, obey them while living at home.

    What if you aren't living at home and you are living independently? Then honoring your parents means giving them your undivided attention when they do try to give counsel - solicited or otherwise - and weigh it out. Their experiences make them wise - don't dismiss their advice just because we don't live at home and are making our own way in this world.

    We don't dismiss our parents' counsel when we leave. You may heed it, or being independent and having "left" (the first part of leaving and cleaving), heed the Lord if His direction is otherwise.

    Jordan, you aren't going to find scripture to satisfy you blindly in this area.
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    #2. I've looked at your Facebook page trying to find something about you or your friends that this mother of this girl could use as justification of "not having any peace about you ever." I pretended to be her mother and to have NO PEACE about you and I tried to find something that she might find.

    You just look and act like the typical 21-year-old young man as far I could see.

    I need to say something that you've said you didn't want to hear. Yes, you are young. And so is this girl. With her being only 18 years old, her mother may not be at peace about ANY young man right now. It may not be you as an individual.

    Pray for this woman. Write HER a letter and ask her to outline what it is about you that gives her pause. Tell her that you REALLY want to know what it is about you that troubles her so.
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    #3 The odds are overwhelming that you will marry one day. Maybe this girl - maybe not.

    But, one of the things about having a wonderful wife is getting the privilege of being a wonderful husband TO her. And ... for the woman you marry - vice versa.

    Here's a link to good site for young people with lots of questions to ask themselves, "Am I Ready To Get Married". I think all people should go through these questions in self-inspection.

    http://www.foryourmarriage.org/dating-engaged/frequently-asked-questions/

    If you find yourself lacking in any of these areas, perhaps this is where the mother is not at peace.
     
    #65 Scarlett O., Dec 13, 2013
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2013
  6. Jordan Kurecki

    Jordan Kurecki Well-Known Member
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    Thank you I appreciate your help. :thumbs:

    Why'd you link me to a Catholic website though?
     
    #66 Jordan Kurecki, Dec 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 13, 2013
  7. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    I thought the questions to ask oneself were really good. I'm not Catholic and on that link they weren't proselytizing anyone.
     
    #67 Scarlett O., Dec 13, 2013
  8. Jordan Kurecki

    Jordan Kurecki Well-Known Member
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    They are some good questions. but Im a bit weary about taking marriage advice from being who probably aren't regenerated by the Holy Spirit.
     
    #68 Jordan Kurecki, Dec 13, 2013
  9. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    Still, my encouragement to you is valid.
     
    #69 Aaron, Dec 13, 2013
  10. Yeshua1

    Yeshua1 Well-Known Member
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    That shows godly wisdom!

    Would say that you might learn from a catholic site, but that would NOT be in theology and doctrines, but maybe in relationships and family, as their church is big on that...
     
    #70 Yeshua1, Dec 14, 2013
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