Recipe for domestic violence among Christians

Discussion in '2007 Archive' started by moondg, Sep 6, 2007.

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  1. moondg

    moondg
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    [FONT=TIMES NEW ROMAN, GEORGIA, TIMES]Recipe for domestic violence among Christians[/FONT] [FONT=ARIAL, TREBUCHET, HELVETICA]My position is, that any woman, Christian or otherwise, who experiences physical violence should, for safety's sake, take immediate action to protect herself. And this usually involves legal action.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Trebuchet MS, Helvetica]Thursday, September 06, 2007[/FONT][FONT=arial,verdana,helvetica]Jocelyn Andersen[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I just completed an interview with a Christian radio host in which a new ingredient, in addition to submission, patriarchy and blame shifting, has been added to the recipe for Domestic Violence among Christians -- 1 Corinthians 6:1-7 Dare any of you having a matter against another go to the Law...? My position is, that any woman, Christian or otherwise, who experiences physical violence should, for safety's sake, take immediate action to protect herself. And this usually involves legal action. My interviewer was obviously not in agreement with this approach. He seemed to feel that the scripture which admonishes believers not to take other believers to court should be interpreted to mean that a Christian wife should not report assaults by her husband to the authorities at all, but rather to her local church leadership only.
    For battered Christian wives, this is a very dangerous, life-threatening, interpretation of that scripture. It is an interpretation I am not at all in agreement with. I do not believe that particular scripture is referring to violent crime. And my interviewer conveniently left out the part that says... "but rather let yourselves be defrauded." Obviously this verse is referring to disputes over money or property--not to physical assault. This interpretation of 1 Corinthians 6:1-2, leaves the door open for blame-shifting, an ingredient in this volatile recipe which transfers the responsibility from the one who is perpetrating the violence to the one who is being assaulted. Christian wives are commonly told that they are most likely provoking the abuse, and if they would react to their husband's abusive behavior more submissively, then he would change. Research has shown just the opposite, and blows this unbiblical argument clean out of the water.
    The interview underscored the fact that, among Christians, domestic violence is not considered all that dangerous -- as if a Christian wife-beater is not as much of a threat to his wife as a non-Christian wife- beater. This idea is ludicrous, but very prevalent. The proof of that is seen in John MacArthur's statement that a wife should leave while the heat is on, but with the intention of going back when the heat is off.
    When is the heat ever off? When is it ever safe for a battered wife to return to a violent home?
    During the course of this interview, I was also asked about church discipline for batters. I agree that church discipline for members who commit violent crimes should be enforced, but in addition to, not as a replacement for, arrest and prosecution.
    Jocelyn Andersen, author of "Woman Submit! Christians & Domestic
    [/FONT]:null: http://www.dailyestimate.com/article.asp?idcategory=34&idSub=170&idArticle=10908

    I agree I do not think a woman should stay in a abusive relationship. I also do not believe a christian husband would abuse his wife.
     
  2. Don

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    Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it
    28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
    29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church
    33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself
     
  3. Bro. Williams

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    A woman has no choice but to stay married, but I do advocate seeking shelter elsewhere. To think that Christian man could not be abusive is being quite naive. I have found that most Christians are capable of doing most sins.
     
  4. Bro. Williams

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    BTW: I agree that there is no reason a Christian man (or any man.... except maybe Bill C.) would be abusive. BUT, I know some are.
     
  5. moondg

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    I do not think a man could continually abuse his wife and be a christian. He may say he is. To say a woman has no choice is naive. A person Woman or man does not have to take abuse from there spouse. She can become a widow ask Mary Winkler.
     
  6. SaggyWoman

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    She could also become Lorena Bobbitt.
     
  7. moondg

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    :laugh: Yes mam
     
  8. Bro. Williams

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    I meant Biblical choice, you, obviously did not.

    A person can do whatever they please, but not all is expedient and not all falls under Biblical right.

    Furthermore, no offense, but it really doesn't matter "what you think". The truth of the matter is that Christians are still sinners, in the flesh. They will and can do most any sin as well or better than the unsaved.
     
  9. carpro

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    In many cases, I believe abusive husbands show signs of what's to come during the courtship(if any) before the marriage.

    Either the women don't recognize the signs or choose to ignore them thinking everything will be fine after they're married.

    Sad that any man, Christian or not, would abuse any woman, but women have to take steps to protect themselves and their children, up to and including legal action. Any man that abuses his wife will eventually abuse his children.
     
    #9 carpro, Sep 8, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2007
  10. SaggyWoman

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    I don't know if some "Christian" men understand that they are being abusive, and some "Christian" women feel that being a doormat to her husband is acceptable.
     
  11. Bob Alkire

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    Did David abuse his wife with his affair with Bathsheba? I know or think that isn't the kind of abuse you are talking about, but it is abuse of the worse kind as well. Did Bathsheba abuse Uriah? We know David didn't do him much good or less it was to end his pain on earth. No, a man or women who is saved can act to where one can not tell if they are saved or lost. If one can murder they can hurt or kill their wife or husband.

    Here in Florida as well as the rest of the country, we are seeing this goes both ways, but most men do not turn it in, like the ball player who said he stab himself in the back, it isn't manly to say your wife did it.

    But so much of this could be missed if we married Christians which we knew and dated for 4 or 5 years and got to know their family. But so many don't know who the person is that they marry. But with that said many christian men as well as women falter as David did.
     
  12. moondg

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    I did not say a Christian could not sin. What I was talking about is a Christian does not stay in sin. NOT and be a true Christian. They may say they are but if they keep abusing there wife, husband or children they are not a Christian. We do not know someones heart only God known that but we judge by there actions. If they are continually abusive they are not a Christian.
     
  13. SaggyWoman

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    If a person is continually abusive, he is not a Christian.

    If a person constantly over eats, he is not a Christian.

    If a person does drugs, then stops, then goes back, then stops, then goes back, then he is not a Christian.

    If a person does not discipline his child, he is not a Christian.

    If a person cheats on his taxes every year he is not a Christian.

    If a person does not speak out when the truth needs to be told, he is not a Christian.
     
  14. Joe

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    Since there are levels of abuse, various definitions, and many interpretations upon what it is, I think it is between the parties and God. There is a verse somewhere that talks of how divorces are to be private, though I know the church often talks openly of people involved in divorce.

    It is universal that Christians traditionally believe one cannot divorce his spouse except on the grounds of sexual misconduct/adultery. In considering the Sermon on the Mount, and the verses provided below where the Pharisees attempted to trap Jesus, it appears some abusive situations may actually call for divorce. OR are allowed by God at the very least. It is never his preference.
    When a man and a woman come together, they become one flesh. When you divorce, it's similar to ripping flesh from your body. What happens when you rip apart some of the flesh from your body? You become deformed, you live as a deformed person. You
    can't remarry to take the flesh from your new spouse and replace the flesh you lost. That loss was permanent, so in a sense, we are permanently deformed after the divorce. My take on the matter.

    Matthew 3-12

    The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

    4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

    5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

    6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

    7They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

    8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

    9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.





    Blessings,


    Joe
     
    #14 Joe, Sep 8, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2007
  15. Joe

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    So not only is it appropriate to seek a safe shelter away from the abusive spouse, divorce may be allowed by God in certain instances.
     
  16. JFox1

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    The Bible tells wives to submit to their husbands. Many people believe being submissive means being a doormat. In the past, abused women who told their pastors about the situation were instructed to be more submissive. :(
     
  17. Bro. Williams

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    Can you prove that? If I continue to curse while saved am I therefore in actuality, not a Christian?
     
  18. Bro. Williams

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    Wow, and they call me a legalist! I sure hope this post was in jest and sarcasm.
     
  19. SaggyWoman

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    Sounds like a Color Purple tragedy.
     
  20. SaggyWoman

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    Extreme Sarcasm. Thanks for catching it.
     
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