Respecting a lady

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by Salty, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    In the days of old, when a pastor was sitting down behind the pulpit, and a lady was coming up on the platform - say to sing, man/men would stand.

    Does that happen in this day and age?

    Ladies, would you appreciate that?

    Thoughts
     
  2. Jerome

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    Evangelist Anne Graham Lotz writes about an experience at a pastors conference:

    Here, she talks about the incident: Youtube
     
    #2 Jerome, Jun 11, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 11, 2011
  3. Gina B

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    I'm never against anything that gives more respect to women! Part of that reasoning it that it makes me feel more lady-like.
    I'm blessed with a husband that is very respectful and sweet. Opens all doors, carries stuff, all that jazz.
    Maybe more women would feel and act more lady-like if they were treated this way. I know I'm definitely more prone to look up to guys, call them sir, think highly of them when I see them treating females decent.

    When I was younger, we were required to stand when an adult entered the classroom and not sit until they said "thank you, be seated." We used sir and ma'am. Boys were taught to open doors for girls, to pull out chairs, etc..

    Now it seems that not only are many of these habits dropped, they're replaced with plain old rude behavior. That in itself tells me they're needed in order to keep more base human behavior at bay.
     
  4. DiamondLady

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    I sing quite regularly in our church and I play the piano at every service. About three years ago, after singing the Sunday before Christmas I stepped down from the platform and some girls were misbehaving and caught my attention which caused me to catch my heel in the hem of my dress and fall to the floor. Since that day there are always helping hands for the ladies as they come down from the platform.

    I am especially blessed to have a husband that opens car doors for me, carries my things (even my purse if needed!) holds chairs, helps me down stairs, walks on the traffic side of a sidewalk, really doesn't allow me to go many places by myself as he is my protector. For instance, I had to meet the man from the music store and one of our sound men at the church Friday evening so he could adjust our sound system. My husband went with me, wouldn't let me go alone because he knew that it didn't look right for me to be there by myself with two men. He went along with me.

    I enjoy feeling feminine and protected. So yes, I would appreciate men standing in respect when I enter a room.
     
  5. Scarlett O.

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    I think this kind of behavior is nice, but it can be done to a fault. As far as men standing up when I enter a room - well, I'm not the Queen of England. If they are going to acknowledge me or talk to me, then standing up would be nice and I would appreciate it. But if I don't know them and don't plan on having a conversation with them, I don't see why they would even acknowledge that I entered the room at all.

    Extending a hand when I'm coming down steps or up steps is courteous, too, and I appreciate it.

    When I was at Texas A&M University doing my post-graduate work, everyone had to park ever so far away from the actual buildings. It's a huge agricultural campus with hundreds of acreage of land. Trollies would pick you up at various places and at 20 minute intervals and you would ride to class.

    It is (or at least it was 20 years ago) a very conservative university and had only been co-ed for about 25 years. When a female student hopped on a trolly, all the male students made sure that she was seated before the trolly continued - even if people had to play musical chairs.

    One morning, it was raining like MAD. Everyone was running late and the trollies were behind schedule. Those professors didn't take kindly to anyone being late for any reason.

    Several of us were waiting for an already crowded trolly. I was one of the last ones to get on. The trolly stopped - waiting for all of the females to get seated. We were soaked to the core and everyone was nervous about being late. I didn't really care if I were seated or not. The trolly started to move. Someone shouted, "Stop! There's a female not seated!" The trolly stopped. Everyone began shuffling around, looking for a seat for me.

    I shouted back, "Hey! Thanks, but we are all soaking wet and we are ALL going to be late for class. Let's just GO!" The trolly moved forward and every male student that I could see breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

    As I said, one can carry this type of helpless female attitude too far.

    Personally, I appreciate positive attention from a man. I appreciate help. And I ALWAYS smile, make eye contact, and say "thank-you" to any man who opens any door for me - even though I could have opened it myself. If they were courteous enough to think of me (and I have never experienced a man who did not open a door for me from a gas station to a church to a professional setting), then I am courteous enough to smile and say thank you.

    But the opening the door thing goes both ways. If I am carrying nothing and a man behind me is carrying a ton of boxes or pushing a heavy dolly, then I am opening the door for him. And if I am four or five steps ahead of him and the door pulls open to the outside, then I am opening it and stepping back to allow anyone - man, woman, boy, or girl to walk in ahead of me. Otherwise, if I go through first, then I swing the door in their face and that's rude.

    There nothing wrong with common courtesy and more of it should be done. From men to women and from women to men - courtesy and manners should definitely be emphasized more than they are.

    But I am not helpless. And do not treat me as such. Yes, I would appreciate a hand carrying bags, but ask me first, "Hey, lady. Do you need a hand?" I'll tell you if I do. And you asking the question does make me feel nice and I appreciate the offer more than you know.

    If you and I aren't going to have a conversation, then you don't have to stand up when I enter the room. If you know me and do wish to merely acknowledge that you saw me without coming across the room to shake my hand or speak, a simple eye contact, smile, and nod will suffice. I'll smile and nod back. You don't have to get up.

    I appreciate positive and respectful male attention. And I also appreciate just as much, if not more, male attention that deems me as smart and capable.
     
    #5 Scarlett O., Jun 12, 2011
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2011
  6. Jerome

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    Phyllis Schlafly gets the same bigoted reception from leftist college students as Anne Graham Lotz did from those pastors :

    Youtube—Students Turn Backs To Schlafly During Graduation

    When Mrs. Schlafly spoke at Jerry Falwell's Liberty Baptist College in 1979, she was greeted with a standing ovation.

    In contrast, a few years later Sword of the Lord editor Curtis Hutson stormed out of a James Robison conference when he found out Mrs. Schlafly would also be speaking:eek:
     
  7. Jerome

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    In this Youtube clip at 8:00, as Mrs. Deanna McClary comes to the pulpit to speak at some Lester Roloff meeting, everyone stands to their feet. Most everyone is clapping, except Bro. Roloff, who quickly motions for everyone to sit down!
     
  8. jaigner

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    It is not "leftist" to not respect the opinions of Phyllis Schlafly. She is irrelevant and her views are a laughingstock of more informed evangelical Christianity.
     
  9. Amy.G

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    I've personally never seen anyone stand when a lady walked into the room, but my pet peeve is the non courtesy exhibited to people trying to push a wheelchair and open a door at the same time. This is a constant problem for me as my mother cannot go anywhere unless in a wheelchair. People (men and women) will just sit and just watch me struggle to get those big heavy doors open and push my mother through them at the same time. It's especially fun when it's raining. It's mainly the younger people that offer help. Just don't get me started! Oops....I guess I already did. :laugh:
     
  10. Earth Wind and Fire

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    So it is happening down South as well?!? when I'd rode the train into & out of Manhattan, I'd often give up my seat to an infirmed person while old & young alike would sit there content that they had a seat & without regard for the suffering person. What a shame.
     
  11. Salty

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    Though we should give special consideration to the handicap - That would be a great subject to bring up in a new thread. But here we are getting off the OP!

    This thread we are talking strictly about treating women with respect as ladies.
     
  12. Jerome

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    Oh, it is those student's leftist beliefs that make them leftists. You are absolutely correct that even absent Mrs. Schlafly, they would probably find something else to get all worked up about.

    When Dr. Falwell had Sen. Kennedy (similarly despised by the Right as Schlafly is by the Left) speak during Liberty's chapel, he was welcomed warmly: Youtube

    It's sad when one allows one's bigotry to eclipse common courtesy and manners.
     
  13. Jerome

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  14. Salty

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  15. billwald

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    Salty - you must be lots older than I am. <G>
     
  16. Salty

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    I had military orders to go to Vietnam - does that give you a hint?
     
  17. FriendofSpurgeon

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    Yes, I remember that growing up.

    Doesn't happen now. At our current church, our pastor does not sit up on the platform before the preaching. Instead, he sits with the laity, so it is a non issue.
     
  18. abcgrad94

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    We had a pastor who was very careful to instruct the young preacher boys about this. Whenever a lady got up to sing, they would respectfully stand up as she came up the platform. He also taught them to look UP when seated behind the pulpit. That way their line of vision was directed up instead of straight ahead at the persons rear end.
     
  19. Gina B

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    That ruins all the fun of wearing a sign on your rear with an arrow pointing upwards and words that say "heaven art thataway mister"
     
  20. Scarlett O.

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    I don't mean to laugh, but that just struck me as funny. :laugh: :laugh:

    Wouldn't a simpler solution be to move the chair from behind the pulpit so he is not eye-level with her posterior or sit on the front row than to train young men to stare up and focus on "don't look at her heiny, don't look at her heiny, don't look at her heiny...."? Shouldn't they be trained to meditate on the song being sung and be in a spirit of prayer right before they get up to preach?

    Honestly, if I were out to lunch with a group of women and we sat near the cash register and one of them said, "There's a man standing in line at the check-out counter - look up and don't stare at his heiny"....

    ....well, that's the first place I'm looking - HIS HEINY, it's just human nature. And all I will be able to think about while he is in line in NOT looking at his heiny. So either way, my eyes and my mind are all about that man's heiny!!!

    Good grief! :laugh: I think there's got to be a better way to train young preachers than this. :applause:
     

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