Respecting Our Elders In Generational Conflict

I seen the opposite happen. Many times older people were brought up in churches with pastors who didn't know how to study the bible, or rarely did, taught whatever he's heard of that sounds good to him, and leaves behind him a lot of people walking around unknowingly with false doctrines.
A lot, if not most of our area small country churches do not believe in a pastor whose educated or studied, and do not expect a pastor to even study the bible, but to come to the pulpit with no idea of what he's teaching and play it by ear expecting God to give him the words the sermon the topic the scriptures. Or he isn't God lead. This created a lot of bad teachings and false doctrines.
So what do you do then?

 

According to the reasoning of some you evidently keep your mouth shut and submit. Sorry, but I'm not going to do that. I have great respect for my elders. I do everything I can to listen to them, respect them, and honor them. However, years on this earth don't always give someone wisdom nor an automatic right to demand his or her way in the church. Certainly I don't want to be like Rehoboam and not listen to sound counsel. But, at the same time I'm not going to reject change based simply on the fact that an older person doesn't like it.

 

Perfect example of Eph. 5:21 in action. Thanks for sharing it!

 

It's the Spirit that demands the younger to submit to the elder, not the elder.

 

Self-will. Gotta love it. :thumbs:

 

It's in the opening paragraph.

There is always within the culture and even in our churches the conflict between older and younger generations. The younger are always looking for the newer, faster, and the better. There can be no doubt that they are, in so many cases, discontent with methods and ways of doing things they saw growing up. The older generation often is working to maintain what they have known for many years, and have seen work hundreds of times over. I have a concern that in so many cases where this conflict of generation’s pops up the older congregants get the short end of the stick, and often without legitimate cause.
​

 

Maybe in SOME churches...:smilewinkgrin:

 

so are people to submit to error just because the one in error is old?
I don't think so.
No where does God tell us to or allow us to submit ourselves to error.

 

I don't think that is in view at all. It's sort of a given in any situation.

 

Yes, and it demands Bible study and prayer and willingness to step away from pride and arrogance on the part of the young person to submit to the wisdom and knowledge of the elder.

 

Young people don't have a corner on the "pride and arrogance" market. there are plenty of older folks who have that also.

It is amazing to me that so many my age (lets just say mid-50's) and older feel that they are "right" just because they are older.

Everyone seems to be skipping over the "mutual submission" post. WHO IS SUPPOSED TO "RUN" THE CHURCH ANYWAYS?

 

“Age and experience” and “whatever you practice, you get better at” go hand in hand. From my early childhood I’ve had a deep love and respect for older people; as a little boy I became a regular visitor to a nursing home after meeting some old people sitting outside who persuaded me to come talk to them. I ended up being the star attraction at that place, loved listening to their stories, and ate up the attention. It took quite a bit of convincing for me to ever believe an older person could do wrong, regardless if some were especially grouchy.

It wasn’t until starting out in my cabinet business in my mid-twenties that I learned to understand the hard way that great wisdom of older people could work for either good, or evil. Today, I still appreciate and highly regard the value of experience, but along with that I’ve learned to use more caution than usual and the necessity to give the "extra measure" of respect to the elderly on an individual basis, rather than just freely.

 

The Bible is the guidebook and the Pastor is the leader as He follows God and Christ. We have a young Pastor, but he does refer to his teachers in college a lot, some strong OLDER Pastors and Missionaries who have now started teaching college to mentor those who need it.

Pride and arrogance are in every group, but the young seem to have it more.

 

Submission, 1st and always, for the Christian, is to Jesus Christ. After that it is to one another in obediance to Christ.

We are taught several things in the scriptures about this:
Children are to submit to their parents.
Parents are not supposed to provoke their children to anger.
The younger are to RESPECT their elders.
The elders are not to DISPISE youth.
If one is to lead or 'be master', he should first and always be also a servant.

If one has a loving and kind master, he should be obedient and submissive.
If one does not, and is enslaved, he is still supposed to be obedient and submissive as unto the Lord, in all things which are honoring to the Lord.
In all of this is captured some of the teachings of the parables and the beattitudes.... if compelled to go one mile... go two; if asked for one thing offer that and more; if wrongly smitten on one cheek, present the other also: Often we miss the object lesson which these 'little' things present as far as how it throws an unbeliever or unrighteous 'master' or accuser 'off balance'.

The Bible really doesn't present the contest between the genders we so often attribute to it: A woman may be smarter than her husband, but it is wisdom and not mere intelligence which guides her in her submission. A husband may have authority over the wife but he is supposed to discipline his own ego into obediance to Jesus Christ and love her and give himself to and for her as Christ did the church, patient, kind, long sufferring, faithful (and as much as men may not like to hear this..... listening to her needs and fears and accepting and consoling her emotions.... like Jesus listens to our prayers and is responsive to them), and even teaching her.... or preparing her for change rather than abruptly introducing a decision made unilaterally, when there was time for preparation and planning. A wife is supposed to honor her husband, submit to his authority, respect him. (Included in this is consulting with him on all those decisions which concern the welfare or wholeness of the family in such areas as regarding discipline of children, finances, etc., deferring to his authority).
If a home is headed by Christian parents.... there should be no difficulty in the wife first consulting her husband and respecting his decision before taking on additional duties or responsibilities outside the home as to work or involvement in church or organizations........ and likewise..... he should not present objections which are based solely on ego and his authority.

The elders are wiser by their many 'completed' experiences and should be respected and consulted for advice and opinions and instruction. The elders are not to presume that because they are consulted, they then are controllers or can make decisions for the younger: To do so means they presume authority and responsibility for the choices made.... some of which they may not even live long enough to receive or repair the consequences of. As part of their own experience, the elder are all the wiser if they also remember their youth..... and that often it was not the experiences of their own parents and the historical stories that helped their faith to grow... but the mistakes and the overcoming of their own experiences and testing..... and likewise the youth need guidance in those areas which are benchmarks or caution signs... but not control when they've reached adulthood and are fully responsible for their own choices.

Rather than depend on the schools to teach the skills of living and coping, the youth would be wisely taught by their elders: Older parents have much wisdom and experience as to what works and what doesn't, priorities, patience, and often insights as to understanding the attention and communication limits of a young child, than does a new parent who is impatient and so wanting to get things just right.

Older women and widows have a greater understanding of the hormonal ups and downs of mood, the aching desire to be courted and treated with affection and consideration throughout the day rather than taken for granted like a microwave oven at the push of a button, and the need to expand both her skills and her confidence in the home so that her husband is pleased with her. Older women can often share communication skills they've learned through trial and error concerning communicating with men.... and the limits on men's listening and attention skills especially for a woman who is an excitable chatter box where everything is important and nothing really is. This is something many men do not realize or understand: Women have a need for verbal communication and sharing and attention. Much of it used to be satisfied in joint group interest and projects such as canning, or baking, or quilting and sewing bees. But modern society doesn't offer these 'mindless' industry to serving both the needs of the home or the networking and feminine communication and exchanges which were a part of 'yesteryear'. For those who have the free time to engage in sports or band attendance with their children, or join a women's bowling league, or gather for cards, etc. .... perhaps women are able to assemble for sharing with each other. Church activities offer great opportunity for women with similar interest to share more beyond the activity itself. However many activities of the church, like SS, or choir practice, are a goal in themselves with time limits and structured participation. I have a strong feeling that men, in spite of their discomfort for 'sharing' do have their own needs to bond with other men and talk shop, and exchange ideas and plans, concerns and worries, politics, experiences, to be challenged and accountable and accepted and respected by each other. In 'yesteryear' some of these needs might have found their fulfillment through group building projects or auto repair, or group efforts shared in benevolent projects or farming. Once again, church offers an assemblage where men of similar interest may meet but often the meetings for business or SS is highly structured with limited time for sharing and strengthing fellowship and faith. I'm not sure that it is the organized church's responsibility to set up these opportunities.... but I do believe it can encourage its membership to consider and include faith meeting life in opportunities of shared fellowship which go beyond worship and instruction.

Being a 'senior' citizen, I tend to agree with the OP that seniors are often slighted by the younger and weight and respect isn't given for their experience. However, I also believe that older people tend to forget the energy and innovation and fearless courage and excitability of youth when given opportunity for challenges and accomplishment. The lack of respect goes both ways. Unfortuanately, the youth of today don't get messages of respect for the elderly from society or education and many don't get it in the home. This is another hurdle to cross. However, in part, I lay some of this to blame upon those of us who are now 'elders' following so much the pattern we learned when we were once young and instructed by our own 'elders' ........wherein we judge our aged authority as being 'the authority' and instead of presenting, with patience, our instruction from experience and scripture and our own successes and FAILURES and the lessons learned..... as tools of guidance and advice or opinion.... we say in effect 'because I said so' or the other lame excuse 'do as I say and not as I do'. A child who receives only corporal punishment without being instructed as to what he did wrong and why it was offensive..... only learns anger and hatred of authority and feels unjust judgement in the discipline. A young person who is repeatedly cautioned with fears, real or imagined, or is shot down on every turn, neither is receiving respect for his ability to learn nor presented with the information he may not yet know to make his own decisions or asked the questions which cause him to think deeper and more carefully regarding outcomes before he makes a choice.

Under the authority of Jesus Christ, we live and move and have our being. We can be obedient to him...... We may also have experiences in which we rebelled and were disobedient and made our mistakes. No pastor, no congregant, no parent, no child, is above the authority of the Lord Jesus, and in submission to one another..... as we make our mistakes.... we owe not only the Lord, the repentance..... but also should acknowledge and ask forgivenness of each other and receive each other in the love of the Lord.

 

you would think so, but it's not what some are saying here.

 

some apparently think that just because someone is older means they are right, these two never go hand in hand at all times. you have to recognize that soemtimes older does not mean right, and young does not mean wrong, and arrogance runs wildly in older people just as much as it does in younger, arrogance isn't age related.

 

Self-will. Gotta love it.

What in the world are you talking about? Please bring it back down to earth so us simpletons can understand.

 

Excellent perspective- balanced and well stated.

 

Thanks for your post! Great reinforcement of positive and practical thoughts!