Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by SaggyWoman, Feb 24, 2004.
How do you deal with the satan's spawns that manifest themselves as gossipers at your church?
I say, 'Oh! I'm sorry! I'm not comfortable with this conversation' and I walk away. I don't hear much gossip anymore. People can't gossip about me because I'm probably one of the most 'open book' people you'd ever meet.
What if you aren't involved in the gossip?
Do you mean you aren't hearing it or the subject or the gossip?
I am not the recipient of the gossip but I am the object.
Ah......... I'm not really sure. I think it would depend on what the gossip concerned, how widespread it appeared to be and who supposedly started it.
I'm a horrible coward. I cannot tolerate confrontation because of my upbringing. Is this something your pastor can address for you?
I'm sorry you're the object of gossip. I've been there too. You deal with them by loving them and praying for them, and resisting the temptation to call them "satan's spawn".
Bake them cookies. Send them birthday cards. Forgive them, even though they haven't asked, and love them with kindness. I've done this before, and God used it to really turn a situation around. And confide in your pastor, or those whom you trust with your life, so that they can walk through this with you.
It is beyond all that.
It's never beyond all that. It may seem like it, but it isn't. I will pray for you.
A person so filled with constant lies that there can be no ounce of truth in them.
how about confronting them in the presence of another person (pastor or other trusted "neutral" person)
I am just the tip of the iceberg. It runs deeper. It is like a bad root.
SaggyWoman, don't let their actions determine your responses. I don't mean to be blunt, but why did you ask how do deal with gossipers if you've already decided to cling to bitterness and not to take any advice? In fact, you need to be careful, as you're starting to gossip about *them*. How would Jesus want you to respond?
Pray for them and be as nice as you possibly can, they are despitefully using you. If you respond as Jesus told us to do and love them openly, you may never change the fact of their mistreating you, but you can at least enjoy the pleasure of heaping coals of fire upon their insipid little pointy heads!
Mattheqw 18:15-17, "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. "But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
The problem with gossip is cowardice on both the gossiper and the person who knows about the gossip. Gossip can do much to tear a church apart. If a person gossips about you just imagine who else he does it about.
You need to confront the gossiper in private first.
Matthew 5:11-12 "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."
Sounds like you should be the happiest gal on the BB today!
It is all out of my hands. At some point, I will need to go to them.
IF it is as bad as you say it is, then the first thing is to address the situation with the pastor. If the pastor is truly a servant to the body, then he can direct what should happen next. Probably somthing along the lines of you and the pastor confronting the individual. If that does not work and there is evidence that it is widespread then the person should be 'churched' (Texan for church discipline). But this is the call of the pastor and the discipline committee and not you. You must stay right by forgiving, which essentially means that you surrender your right to hurt someone for hurting you first.
The deacons are fixing to address it.