1Ch 13:8 And David and all Israel played before God with all their might, and with singing, and with harps, and with psalteries, and with timbrels, and with cymbals, and with trumpets. 1Ch 13:9 And when they came unto the threshingfloor of Chidon, Uzza put forth his hand to hold the ark; for the oxen stumbled. 1Ch 13:10 And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzza, and he smote him, because he put his hand to the ark: and there he died before God. 1Ch 13:11 And David was displeased, because the LORD had made a breach upon Uzza: wherefore that place is called Perezuzza to this day. 1Ch 13:12 And David was afraid of God that day, saying, How shall I bring the ark of God home to me? 1Ch 13:13 So David brought not the ark home to himself to the city of David, but carried it aside into the house of Obededom the Gittite. Why was Uzza killed? Somehow when I read this I become really scared of God and feel so alienated from him, it's as if I don't know how God is at all. What if my picture of God is totally wrong and I only think of the nice Jesus who loves everybody? But when I'm afraid of God then it also doesn't help me. It simply doesn't work this way. Next time I sin I might think of these bible verses and fear that God might kill me any moment now because he might be totally angry at me. This way God becomes some sort of dictator in my mind who you have to be totally careful with because otherwise he might kill you. I don't want to judge God but I am only human and I have problems understand why God acts in certain ways. Did they transport the ark in a wrong way or what was their mistake? I also don't understand why David brought the ark to the other guy and left it there. There isn't much information in the few verses.Somehow this simply doesn't work. Once I think I know how God is I find something like this in the bible and am totally confused that God is so strict. Jesus seems to be so different. Can you imagine Jesus doing something like this? I can't. But maybe this picture which we have of the nice Jesus also isn't correct. Maybe my whole picture of God is distorted.This is really great.What if I couldn't even deal with how God really is? What if this would scare me too much or what if I would criticize God and not agree with him from my human perspective? What do I do then? Or what if I sin and then think what if God sends fire from heaven now because he's angry at me? It simply doesn't work this way. When I'm all scared of God and when the only motivation to obey God is fear then it simply doesn't work. How can you feel well when you're dealing with somebody who has such high standards and who can kill you at any moment? Then you become totally scared of doing a mistake. I don't think that Uzza did iit wrong on purpose. Most likely he was trying to help. I I don't think I would have wanted to live during the old testament times. One mistake and you're gone... Somehow it's always the same. I'm always torn between God being good and mercyful and these scary passages where God seems totally strict. Why wasn't Uzza given the chance to repent? But maybe this also angers God that I question why wasn't Uzza given a chance to repent. I feel like no matter what I do God might be angry at me. Is it even allowed to talk about such things or do we simply have to accept that God did it this way? But the problem is that it's simply not possible to fear God and at the same time feel well in his presence. How is this supposed to work? Imagine your father has supernatural powers and once you were with him and another person said something wrong and he killed this person with his supernatural powers without using any force, the person just dropped dead. Wouldn't this stuff be on your mind and you would somehow fear your father because he has such great powers? Wouldn't this always stand between you somehow because you think what if he does the same thing with you one day? This is how I feel with God. But since God is so powerful how can you not fear him? But if you fear him you cannot even have a normal relationship with him unless you only focus on some sides of God and leave the others out. If you only focus on the "nice Jesus" and then only tell yourself how much God loves you and sugarcoat everything then you can enjoy God and feel well but this also isn't the real picture of God because it purposely doesn't include all sides of God. I really don't know how this is supposed to work. If you only obey God and try not to sin out of fear then this also isn't the right way.