Sensitive Topic..Not Sure Where I Should Post It

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by NomadsWife, Aug 29, 2004.

  1. NomadsWife

    NomadsWife
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    I'm not sure where to post this, but on one of my other message boards a lady brought up the subject of sex offenders...and so I located the sex offender site for my area. I discovered that there are 14 in my zip code - 3 of which are wanted for not re-registering. Also 3 of these live within a few blocks of my home - 2 within the housing complex I live in! 1 lived close to the school my daughter attended for 2 years. I didn't realize there was a site like this until now. This is very scary to think there are some living that close... some are child molesters! This is very disturbing. I indicated this information to hubby in the hopes he would take this information and use it to curb his daughters' forays out at all hours and put some curfews into place. He didn't seem too concerned. His girls are 15 and 18 (just turned 18).

    You might wish to search your area for sex offenders if you haven't already.

    NomadsWife
     
  2. freeatlast

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    Since you know where they live perhaps it would be good to take the gospel to them and invite them to church. God saved you, didn't He, so He certainly could save them, would you not agree?

    It is wise to teach children how to live and not be unwise in the places they go and hours they keep, but fretting over how close someone lives to us because of their past does nothing. Remember they could live ten miles away and still find your area if they wanted to. Go to them and tell them about the Lord. By the way i bet you have prostitues in your near area and they may try and suduce your husband or sons if you ahve any. So the thing to do is get out there and spread the good news. Perhaps you will win a brother or sister to the Lord. [​IMG]
     
  3. AVL1984

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    God could indeed save a sex offender. But, I also believe we need to be careful when it comes to dealing with them. In one church I attended there was a sex offender who was led to the Lord, but alas, he fell into temptation and engaged in sex with an underaged person in the youth group. This person was shifted from his position as a person working with the youth to the nursing home ministry with little or no discipline before the church. He eventually left and was arrested in the state of Washington a few years later for the same thing. He never did register as a sex offender.
    Here in the state of Tennessee, many sex offenders live in our area. Many are registered, but, many more are not.

    AVL1984
     
  4. Johnv

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    Whoa, slow down there. You shouldn't presume that just because someone's on the list, they're not saved. There's one member of my church who gave their lives to Christ after completing his sentence for fondling a minor. He got saved in jail, did his time, and became a productinve member of society when he got out of jail. Obviously, he's not allowed to do any volunteer work with children at church, and I won't allow him to be around my children alone, but he's defenitely a Christian, and has repented of his past.


    If someone came to my door in an effort to share the Lord, I'd tell them thanks, but I'm already a Christian. If, otoh, they tell me they found my name on a public records list, I'd feel quite threatened, and likely tell them firmly but politely to leave my property. A registered sex offender is out because his debt to society is payed, and he has a right to live there, just like anyone else. You don't want to call upon a person at their own home in any manner that would appear to infringe upon his rights.

    This is absolutely true. If we were omnipotent, we might be surprised at how closely we live to a spousal abuser, a thief, an adulterer, alcohol abuser, and the list goes on. The sex offender list (Megan's Law) is made available to the public for the public's benefit, and it's worthwhile information. However, it's not something that should keep you awake at night. Megan's Law states very explicitly that the law is not intended to punish the offender and specifically prohibits using the information to harass or commit any crime against an offender.
     
  5. Gina B

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    I'm in shock that someone is telling a female to go to a known sex offenders house. Why not send the kiddos along?
    *sigh*
    Nomad's wife, they've always been around, but now we have the benefit of knowing who some of them are. Caution should be used as always because one never knows!
    I happen to be around sex offenders and newly released prisoners every week. And...all of them so far have professed faith in Christ.
    Does that mean I stay alone with them or allow my kids alone with them. No way no how.
    Does that mean I think I'm better? No, it means that it would be ignorant to knowingly do such a thing. Not only would it be that, it would be wrong to purposely put them in a position where they could offend again when I know that this sin is their weakness. Even with the best of intentions (ie presenting the gospel if it was needed) it would be inexcusable.
    Gina
     
  6. freeatlast

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    Why are you in shocked. The poster did not say it was a male. perhaps it was a female. You should be shocked at your prejudice and lack of love for the lost. No one told her to go alone either, but she does need to go. There is no reason to say that she got their name off the net. Perhaps you could go with her since you both seem to have a lot of prejudice against certain types of sinners. Jesus loves them all. Try it you might become more like Him. Maybe you are above some, but believe me the Lord can bring you down if need be.

    I am always appalled at people who want to continue to persecute those who have sinned in certain manners and yet they would not want to wash their laundry in public. How about both of you disclosing all your sins on the net and posting your home address'. Then I think you will feel differently.

    To be honest many in the church today have done this very crime, but never got caught. They repented and have went on. You love them and honor them not because you have a great love in your heart, but because you are ignorant of who they are. If suddenly you knew my guess is that your real hearts would be seen in how you then treat them. It is sad that there is so much hypocrisy in the church, but there is. If you are really so concerned about certain people try and love them with God's word and invite them over for dinner. But for the grace of God you could have been them.
     
  7. Johnv

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    In Gina's defense, sex offenders are nearly always male. Also of interest, the suspect is known to the victim in over 80 percent of sex crimes. Seventy percent of first time sex offenders had no previous criminal history whatsoever.

    Through numerous case studies, the Department of Justice has developed characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile. They are as follows:

    * Is most often an adult male.
    * Is usually married.
    * Works in a wide range of occupations, from unskilled laborer to corporate executive.
    * Relates better to children than adults.
    * Socializes with few adults unless they are pedophiles.
    * Usually prefers children in a specific age group.
    * Usually prefers either males or females, but may be bi-sexual.
    * May seek employment or volunteer with programs involving children of the age of his preference.
    * Pursues children for sexual purposes.
    * Frequently photographs or collects photographs of his victims, either dressed, nude, or in sexually explicit acts.
    * Collects child pornography:
    - * To lower the inhibitions of victims.
    - * To fantasize when no potential victim is available.
    - * To relive his sexual activities.
    - * To justify his activities. (The depiction of others engaged in these acts legitimizes them in the pedophile's mind.)
    - * To blackmail victims to keep them from telling.
    * May possess and furnish narcotics to his victims to lower their inhibitions.
    * Is usually intelligent enough to recognize that he has a personal problem and understand the severity of it.
    * May go to great lengths to conceal his illegal activity.
    * Often rationalizes his illicit activities, emphasizing his positive impact upon the victim and repressing feelings about the harm he has done.
    * Often portrays the child as the aggressor. This usually occurs after the child realizes that by withholding "sexual favors" the child will obtain what he or she desires, such as new toys, clothing, or trips.
    * Talks about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or spouse.
    * Often was a child molestation victim and frequently seeks out children at the age or stage of physical development at which he was molested.
    * Often seeks out publications and organizations that support his sexual beliefs and practices.
    * Usually corresponds with other pedophiles and exchanges child pornography and erotica as proof of involvement.
    * Is usually non-violent and has few problems with the law (pedophiles are frequently respected community members).

    The widespread misconception that child molestation consists solely of children being seized from the street and forcibly molested couldn't be further from the truth. Although these incidents do occur, the vast majority of child molesters are adults who seduce children through subtle intimidation and persuasion and are known to the child.
     
  8. Gina B

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    ROFL
    I won't bother telling you what my ministry is since you seem to know enough about me so far. I'm sorry if my post came across offensive enough to make you respond in such a way.
    Have a nice evening.

    Gina
     
  9. dianetavegia

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    Sorry, FreeAtLast! Not everyone is called to minister to people with special needs. Certainly we would not send a saved 8 year old girl to invite a rapist to church, even if he has 'done his time'!

    Gina's ministry is NOT one on one with these persons. She's able to minister to them in a special way without exposing herself or her daughters to danger. I'm quite sure what she does is greatly appreciated too.

    Diane
     
  10. AVL1984

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    Gina, do you have a bias against men? Women, too, can be sex offenders. There are MANY here in Tennessee, and there are many across the country. In fact, do you recall a lady name Mary Kay LeTourneau? There have been several cases of female teachers here in TN having sex with their underaged male students. I'm shocked that you didn't think before you posted. I'm truly appalled at your attitude and lack of sensitivity, which I used to think you had, on this subject.

    AVL1984
     
  11. NomadsWife

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    I didn't mean to start a debate...lol I realize they've always been there...just to know that our kids wander around where they live and we weren't even aware of it, well it kind of hit me you know. To find that one lived within a block or so of my daughter's school, well it kind of bothered me. I realize they can be saved. But I don't feel comfortable going to these men's houses and knocking on their doors. They may or may not hurt me. But I don't like being around strange men. I'm a shy person.

    My main issue is that hubby lets the girls roam about at whatever time they wish and wherever they wish...and they both have a bad habit of leaving the front door unlocked when they leave the house. You don't know how many times I've returned home to find the front door unlocked. Our neighborhood isn't the worst crime area, but stuff has been stolen from us before... they just don't care... and he does little or nothing to teach them differently.
     
  12. Gina B

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    I decided to see if I'm really being prejudiced and if you should be appalled. I looked up the sex offenders in my city. There's not a SINGLE female on the list.
    Nomad's wife, how many of the registered sex offenders in your area that you looked up are female?
    I'll look up the national database if possible and get the stats.
    Gina
     
  13. freeatlast

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    Rediculas! Who said to send an 8 year old? Anythime when women who are exposed as being hypocrits they start on the rediculas and excuses. Ther eis no such thing as ministries to certain types of sinners. We all have the call. If she can criticise to sinner or sin then she needs to take the gospel.
     
  14. freeatlast

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    The gender is not the issue. The fact that you are not going to them IS! By the way there are many women caught up in this and when they do it are held to a totally different standard then men. However that too is not the point. Now that there is evidence that a sinner lioves near by go and tell them the truth instead of treating them like the pharisees did the leapers.
     
  15. Gina B

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    I'm not? That's terrible. I'll pray that God has mercy on my everlasting soul for my refusal to minister to the offenders in my area. [​IMG]
    Gina
     
  16. dianetavegia

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    Eph. 4:11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head--Christ-- 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.
    Freeatlast: Refrain from name calling please. We have posting rules that you agreed to when joining the board. Calling someone a hypocrit because they don't feel called to go into prisons or preach on the street is quite rude, whether it's an administrator, moderator or fellow member.

    [ August 31, 2004, 01:18 PM: Message edited by: dianetavegia ]
     
  17. Thankful

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    I think as Christian parents our first obligation is to protect our children. We must do our best to keep our children from danger. That apparently is the purpose of the "list", not a roster of people who are sinners that we need to witness to.

    No matter how compassionate we should be toward sinners, no matter that we are instructed to witness to the lost, our first priority and commandment is to protect our children. They are the responsibility that God gave to us.

    Nomadswife, I share your concern for your step daughters. Do they live with you? If they do, perhaps you and your husband can set boundaries. Even if they don't live with you, you have the right to set rules and boundaries when they are in your home. This is your responsibility.

    Teens do not realize the dangers that are out there. They do not think that anything is going to happen to them. They think adults are very overprotective and don't want them to have fun.

    Praying for you and your children.
     
  18. dianetavegia

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    Well said Betty. Many of us were born again at early ages and began sharing with our little friends while still 8 or 9 years old. To imply that every Chrisitian should enter harms way to witness to the lost is wrong. We are each given our gifts and talents and should yield to the Holy Spirit and use our talents as we feel led.

    Betty uses her talent. Gina uses her talent. I use my talent... etc. and we all touch the lost with those talents whether directly or indirectly.

    Betty plays the organ for her church. I heard a report off a Christian radio station that said people replied that 85% of what they know about God they learned from a song or hymn!

    Gina feeds the homeless. Her gift of cooking satisfies the hunger pains while her smile and kindness and the witness of men called to work with these person continues her witness.

    I work with children both from our church and the community. I've seen many parents begin to attend church or come and ask to speak with our pastor because of what they've heard from the little ones.

    Pedophilia is an illness. Like alcohol, the pedophile is in recovery but should always remain on guard. To send a young woman to the house of a rapist, newly saved or not, is to cause him to possibly stumble.

    I checked the Georgia Sex Offenders List which is VERY long. I didn't open every file but if the names are clear... there were 8 women listed and about half of those were listed with their husbands. I assume these women didn't stop the abuse. I wasn't able to pull up my town but have before and there were no women listed back then.

    Diane

    [ August 31, 2004, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: dianetavegia ]
     
  19. delly

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    I don't think it's being prejudice at all to not want your children or yourself to be in harm's way. I think it would be ridiculous to ask a woman or a child to go to a convicted rapist's or known pedophile's house to witness to them. That should be a man's job. These people are rarely ever cured of their mental problem and are most likely to relapse. Why would a sensible woman put herself in that situation. Most of the offenders we hear about have already been in trouble with the law many times and in prison at least once. I, for one, do not want to be an unwitting victim of someone's fantasies.

    That's not being prejudiced. It's called being SMART.

    Unless you have already been on the receiving end, you really have no idea what it is like to be a victim of violence. I know.
     
  20. AVL1984

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    Delly, you imply by your post that all pedophiles are men. There are female pedophiles, friend. And how do you know many here haven't been molested by pedophiles? You don't. Many of those who have been choose not to talk about it.

    AVL1984
     

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