separation - am i a freak?

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by timothy 1769, Jan 2, 2003.

  1. timothy 1769

    timothy 1769
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    i'd like other people's thoughts about separation.

    my family is unusual in that we don't watch television and most movies because we don't want the negative influences, and we keep an extremely close watch on what our kids read/listen to, and they are required to treat us with respect (do what we say, don't argue, no backtalk, no slang, etc), and dress modestly.

    so basically we're freaks, even in our sbc church.

    we're somewhat concerned that when our kids are grown, they won't be able to relate to people and won't have adequate experience with choosing things for themselves. but at the same time, a lot of what passes for normal these days sickens us.

    how typical is this level of separation?
    is this a good idea?
    how separated are you?

    [ January 02, 2003, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: am ha'aretz ]
     
  2. TheOliveBranch

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    I have followed this model of separation from the time mine were very young. We found many people, even in our churches, that really look down on us. It has not been easy for the kids either. I had moments where I wanted to leave, even problems with Baptists and Baptist belief. But we have been blessed in many other ways. We have met many families that choose to raise their kids this way.

    My oldest is now 19. She doesn't have any regrets. She has a strong stand for Christ and is very separated. This is her norm. The next two are 17, and 16. No problems here either. They look at the world for what it is. They are sensitive to sin and are able to discern right and wrong. It hasn't been easy, but we have been trained to always strive to do that which is right.
     
  3. Molly

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    I think because a lot of *christian* families' children just look and act like the world that it makes those of us who are trying to train our children in the Lord look weird or whatever,when in reality it is desring for godliness that may be different than what most have allowed in their lives through complacency. That is fine and I am sure not here to please people. When it comes to my children,we want to train them to be glorifying God in their lives,this would include being obedient,humble,dressed modestly,diligent in their work,kind,not desiring for attention on themselves,godly in their speech,appearance,and actions....it is a lot to strive for,but guarding their hearts and teaching them how to guard their hearts is more important to us than fitting in.

    We have made that a conscience decision. They are not weird,(actually they are very respected by other children) but they are not allowed to fight with one another,talk back or be disrespectful to us in any way,they are many styles of clothing they will not be wearing,there are many books,magazines,and music they will not have access to. Right now,they love it and would not want it any other way,they would be disappointed in us if we said,okay act like you want,watch what you want,etc. They prefer the higher standards that they do not see in others their age. They also see in other children selfishness,girls wanting boy's attention,disrespectful speech and they choose to be different than that...they are 10 and 8. They truly are a blessing to us!

    Now,we do know other families who are raising their children this way and it is such a blessing for our children to play together,it is so refreshing....

    [ January 02, 2003, 04:41 PM: Message edited by: Molly ]
     
  4. stubbornkelly

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    It depends whom you ask.

    But that said, I live differently than that, and even I wouldn't say you're a freak.

    I had permissive parents. They didn't much restrict what I read, watched or listened to, but neither did they just leave me to fend for myself. The values they instilled in me helped me make good choices, and we often talked about movies and books and things.

    I don't know that what you describe is typical, but it certainly doesn't seem bad.
     
  5. MissAbbyIFBaptist

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    NO, ya'll are doing whats right! I wish I'd been taught to dress modestly and live right when I was younger. I regret that after I got saved it took so long for me to see it.
    It dosn't matter one flying fiddle what this world thinks of ya'll. It's your family and God put you in charge, and will hold you accountable for how the children are brought up. We've got to abstain from the world. It's too bad more people in your church havn't adopted the same philosophy as ya'll seem to have.
    By raising you children this way, they get to grow up godly.
    Me personaly, I'm not looking to relate to the world. I want to please GOd, and I could care less what someones opinion of me is. If God could go to Calvary for me, surely I can do what little I'm doing now.
    Don't you worry what people think. Let em think you're odd. The Bible says we're a "peculiar" people!
    Praise God that people can see a diffrence in your family. Consider it a blessing, not a hinderance.
    God bless ya'll.
    ~Abby [​IMG]
     
  6. Pastor_Bob

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    You are doing exactly what you should be doing. Do not cave in to the cries of "legalism" that you'll undoubdtedly hear if you haven't already.

    Satan walks about as roaring lion actively seeking whom he may devour. You have taken very necessary precautions not to let him slip in in some very common areas that Christian parents so often overlook.

    Let me add one other common place that parents do not gaurd as much as they should and that is in the area of friends. The wrong friends, even relatives could be a very negative and costly influence.

    Keep up the good work; you'll not regret it. [​IMG]
     
  7. Walls

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    I wouldn't say you are a freak, I would say you are on the right path and leading your children to do the same. Keep it up, the Lord will bless you and your children in ways you would never think of! [​IMG]
     
  8. Headcoveredlady

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    Hi,
    I know exactly what you mean. For me personally whenever my husband says we are jumping ship, I am ready to bail. :( It hurts to be treated as offscouring. I know all about it.

    HCL
     
  9. Living by Faith

    Living by Faith
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    I'm a mother of two and feel the same way.I have more problem from other christians who don't have the same faith or belong to other churches. At my church however I'm blessed with a great friends who also are trying for the seperation that I crave for my children. I have prayed and prayed for others to see the need for seperation and that the Lord lead others who feel the same way to are church. Does your church fellowship with other churches? Are church has a youth activity with 3 other churches every month and it has really helped my kids and I've found 2 additonal friends that are practicing seperation that way. It also a blessing for the children to interact with kids who don't think the are freaks. Kids can be so mean to each other. I try to have my kids get some play time with fellow belivers.

    [ January 03, 2003, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: Living by Faith ]
     
  10. RaptureReady

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    I'd say, stick to it. I believe the Lord will bless you and your family for taking the extra precautions.
     
  11. Wisdom Seeker

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    am ha'aretz You may feel like a freak because your degree of seperation is apparently different from others. But I don't think you're a freak... I know of lots and lots of people who are more strict than what you have admitted in your post. Don't depend on public opinion...do what you feel is right. I feel if your motives are godly...God will bless you for them.
     
  12. Refreshed

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    Praise the Lord for Christians who want to be separate from the things of this world!
     
  13. dianetavegia

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    We're VERY careful what comes on in our home and only listen to Christian music (screen that too tho).

    I think everyone should invest in a TV Guardian for their home. We got one a few years ago through a Christian radio station and just love it. You'd be surprised how much vulgar talk sneaks in through commercials, etc. It's the best $110. we've spent in a LONG time!
     
  14. Pastor_Bob

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    100% agree. No Christian home should be without one. I, too, paid over $100.00 for mine. Then it quit working. I found a VCR in Walmart with built in TVG for $68.00.
     
  15. Dr. Bob

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    Don't know you and must assume you ARE a freak since you post on the BB! :eek: :D [​IMG]

    Seriously, each family must develop their own position on how much the world will influence their children. We are IN the world, not OF the world, and that is a hard place to be!

    We opted NOT to have a tv during the grade school years for our kids. Then got one when they were older and we could establish some strong guidelines.

    It didn't hurt them to read 20-30 books from the library each month and to play outside and to use their imagination. Probably would have greatly restricted computer/video games too (had they been around back in the dark ages when I raised kids) as I see their debilitating effect on children.

    Standards on separation vary greatly. Let every man be convinced in his own mind. We answer to a Master individually, not for one another.
     
  16. Monergist

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    Amen, Dr. Bob ;)

    Back to the original post, these stsndards you've mentioned are very wise. There is a need for caution, however; and that is that you're careful not to measure other families and other christians by your standards.
     
  17. redeemedone

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    Hello to all, I am new here.

    But to am ha'aretz, you are doing the right thing. We screen TV, video games, Christian only music, etc, as well as homeschool our 4 boys.

    It can be difficult to match your children up with others who have wider limits, but find those like yourself, and the fellowship is wonderful. You won't miss any of the "blessings" the world wants to throw your way.

    God Bless,
    Ed
     
  18. trumpet

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    Please do not think you are a freak. That is what people want you to think, I have to agree with Pastor Bob, you also need to watch relatives they can be the hardest on you. Remember narrow is the way,strait is the gate. Keep up your standards your children will love you more for it. You also may get some slake from them, but do not waver your course. Stay the course!
     
  19. Mike McK

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    How is slang direspectful?
     

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