I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's door Not by the beauty of it all By the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp The thieves, the liars, the sinners The alcoholics, the trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lunch money twice Next to him was my old neighbor Who never said anything nice. Uncle Bill, who I always thought Was rotting away in hell Was sitting pretty on cloud nine Looking incredibly well. I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal? I would love to hear Your take How'd all these sinners get up here? God must have made a mistake." "And why is everyone so quiet So somber? Please give me a clue." "Hush, child," said He. "They're all in shock. No one thought they'd see you!"