Shortage of Men?

Discussion in 'Forum for Polls' started by Martin, Feb 26, 2007.

?

There is a shortage of

  1. single Christian men in the church

    8 vote(s)
    36.4%
  2. single Christian women in the church

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. both single Christian men and women in the church

    14 vote(s)
    63.6%
  1. Martin

    Martin
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    I have been reading alot of blogs (etc) lately on the issue of singleness in the church.

    What got me into this subject was a book by Debbie Maken titled "Getting Serious About Getting Married". This book is, I'm sure, one of millions. What makes this book so different, however, is it's message and who endorsed it. It's message is that all single Christian men have a duty to marry. Very, very few men in Maken's view are given a pass on that. Since she believes this she blames the large number of single Christian women on single Christian men who, she believes, are in large part lazy and immature. She does place some blame on other things but single Christian men are the main focus of her attack.

    What is worse is that her book has been endorsed by Albert Mohler (SBTS Pres) and it has even gotten some praise from certain people in Focus on the Family.

    The blogs I have been reading, mostly authored by bitter single women, have several common themes. One of the major themes is that there is a shortage of single men in the church today.

    Personally I don't really buy into this argument. What I would argue is that there is a shortage of single Christian men AND women in the church today. Many singles in church singles groups** are not Christians and are only at church to meet someone. Want proof? Look at their behavior. Several years ago I heard a popular radio host, based in Raleigh NC, tell a guy who was new to town that a good place to meet single women was at a large church. Was that guy a Christian? No, he just wanted to meet women. Sad thing about it, there were probably more than a few at whatever large church he went to that fell for his game. So there may very well be more women in church than men but there still remains a shortage of single Christian women (and men).

    So, here is the question (poll). Is there a shortage of single Christian men in the modern church? A shortage of single Christian women? Or a shortage of both?

    ___________________
    **I don't support singles groups.
     
    #1 Martin, Feb 26, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2007
  2. JamieinNH

    JamieinNH
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    Hello Martin,

    I couldn't vote my opinion, I would have voted that I didn't think there was a shortage of either men or women in church. At least that is my opinion looking over the people that are members at our church.

    I have also heard of people going to church to meet people. While I wouldn't give this information out as a tip, I don't consider it bad either. If a non Christian man/woman meets a Christian woman/man then maybe the Lord will touch the non Christian's heart though the new found partner they met and might be saved. I know it's a scretch<sp> and like I said I would tell someone to go to church to meet someone, but I don't see the harm in it either.

    Another point is no matter how much we like or respect someone like Albert Mohler, it doesn't mean they always endorse everything correctly. :)

    Take care,

    Jamie
     
  3. North Carolina Tentmaker

    North Carolina Tentmaker
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    I voted both.

    I think there is a shortage of single people in the church. There may be some exceptions in big city churches with singles ministries but from my view single adults are the most unchurched group in the world today.

    In many cases after marriage and especially after having children young men and women come back to their faith as they see the importance of rearing their children to love and follow Christ. But when they are wild young and free Church is not where many of them want to be.

    Then of course we as older adults want to complain about them as being lazy and worthless, wandering through life without goals or a purpose. That might have more to do with the fact that they are not in church than it has to do with the fact they are single.
     
  4. Martin

    Martin
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    ==Yea that was something I was thinking about. Things vary from location to location, church to church. I think there is a danger of some becoming too general in their comments on this.

    ==Personally I find that kind of thing to be sad. My personal view is that they have their priorities wrong. In fact they may be in danger of making marriage an idol. We should attend church to worship the Lord, to learn, to fellowship. Meeting someone to marry should not be the "main" reason a person attends any given church. Now I am not saying that such concerns should not be a factor in choosing a church. However I am saying that it should not be "the" reason. Those who jump from church to church "looking" are changing churches for the wrong reasons. I also have to wonder about their faith. But that is a different issue for a different day...

    ==Yea, it is a stretch. In fact evangelism dating rarely works.

    ==Right. Mohler's views on this issue have been giving me heartburn for several years now. :laugh:
     
  5. Martin

    Martin
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    ==That is a very good point. My church has very, very few singles over the age of 25 and below the age of 45 (or so). Among the regulars, so to speak, I know of only less than six. Most of them are on the high end of the above range.

    ==I think one reason singles stay away from churches is the way singles are handled. Usually we are treated in one of several ways.

    1. We are given the Debbie Maken treatment. Here people say, "you need to get married", or, "I know some single..... that you might be interested in meeting", etc, etc. While none of that is "bad", per say, it does get old after a while.

    2. We are herded together into a singles class with the unspoken "hope" that we will match up and marry.

    3. We are ignored. Here I am talking about programs (etc).

    4. We are treated like children. They want us to go to the zoo, watch a movie, or something like that. Again there is nothing bad about those things (per say). It is just the assumption that single adults are nothing but over-grown teenagers.
     
  6. tojasonharris

    tojasonharris
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    The problem is not a lack of single men. It's a lack of single men who are mature in the faith and wholeheartedly seeking God's glory.
     
  7. Pete

    Pete
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    Wasn't going to vote, but on thinking about it again I voted for shortage of single Christian men in the church.

    Someone join the Church and marry these whining single wimmen to shut them up already will ya? :rolleyes: :p :D
     
  8. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
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    Although you might be looking at the dating potential in how many women vs. how many men are at church, I really don't believe for other reasons, that there are enough of either.
     
  9. Sheila

    Sheila
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    I didn't vote either way because there is a shortage of people in our churches period. Of all the members that we have very few are faithful. Since this poll is directed just to single people then I would have to say less single men. But in general we have less men in most churches anyway whether they be single or not.
     
  10. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc
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    Actually, there's a shortage of people of both genders and all ages in the churches who are willing to work and give of themselves for the Lord. People fail to use the talents that God has given them. Many go to their churches one a week at the most (if that) and feel they've done their duty to God. Then they complain that "I don't get anything out of the service", or "Nothing is being done at my church." How would they know since they're hardly ever there and probably don't give financially to the churches needs? There's too much bickering and fighting and complaining among professing Christians, and it's driving people away.
     
  11. Ed Edwards

    Ed Edwards
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    My church is blessed with neither a shortage of single men
    nor a shortage of single women. Obviously your poll is
    lacking this response so I'll just not vote but will post:
     
  12. Benjamin

    Benjamin
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    There is no shortages unless you design them that way.

    I vote you may have too many things on your mind, too many expectations, so when you meet a potential match from the opposite sex, worry too much, and simply need to relax and take some out and have a good time! :type:

    Yeah, that's right! I've read between the lines on you over several subjects concerning dating...and...well...I just got to tell you that you have so much indepth thought going into this...that...I don't see how you will be yourself nor hear and see a woman well enough to give chance through these glasses your wearing. By that I mean you dwell on all the problems with dating instead of stepping in the ring and learning reality. (I doubt you'll get it from a book or speculations; that would be like reading all about boxing, you may even be in good shape, you get into the ring as a rookie and you may learn fast from all your knowledge, but you still have to learn from actual experience.)

    If you don't go out you won't find those adult things to do together that develop as you get to know each other better and maybe even find new mutual likings. Whatever you practice you get better at.

    For instance, I know you're a professed book worm, just to hear you talk (In another tread) about all the reading you do and all that is necessary for schooling made me apprehensive and a little intimidated toward that particular attempt. I can only imagine the guidelines you have preset that are plainly visible to a potential companion. You think too much, just get out there and practice man! Trust the Lord to keep and guide you where ever you may meet them.

    You could meet a woman at a gym, a store, a bookstore/coffee shop :laugh: , whatever, then bring her to church, and not under pressure, take your time, relax, and get to know several, you might be surprised what your strength in spirit may bring for you as God works in and guides your life(s).

    Ok, it was better to address this than the "God is the author of sin" tread. Since I had the time to kill I figured I'd give my two cents for what it's worth here.
     

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