Should a husband be accountable to his wife without being accountable to other men?

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by mr. messy, Mar 30, 2005.

  1. mr. messy

    mr. messy
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2001
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    0
    What do you think of the subject line? "Should a husband be accountable to his wife without being accountable to other men?"

    When is this a good idea? Any Bible references?

    When is this a bad idea? Any Bible references?

    Background: I asked one man in my church during a men's breakfast if he had a man or more to be accountable to? He replied that he had his wife to be accountable to.

    I think that a husband should be a "best friend" to his wife. I think that a man needs at least one other man to check up on him.

    Thanks for reading and for your reply.

    mr. messy
     
  2. Pete Richert

    Pete Richert
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2001
    Messages:
    1,283
    Likes Received:
    0
    The elders of the Church are charged to watch over those put under them. Those people likewise are called to submit to the elders. Beyond that I don't think the Bible speaks one way or another about accountablility, male/female/age/etc.

    I could be wrong.
     
  3. James_Newman

    James_Newman
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,013
    Likes Received:
    0
    You must define what you mean by accountable. If you mean that a man must justify all his decisions to his wife and get her approval, then I would say no. A man has responsibilities toward his wife, but is not accountable to her. The husband will be accountable to the Lord for failing to discharge his duties toward his family in the proper manner.

    Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
    Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.
    Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

    Is Christ accountable to us? Far be it from me to tell the Lord how He should run His business.
     
  4. El_Guero

    El_Guero
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2004
    Messages:
    7,714
    Likes Received:
    0
    James!

    Far be it for us to be accountable to our wives or other men. And that Bible, is just ssoooOO out of date ...

    Thank God that I am a sinner saved by the BLOOD of Jesus Christ ... or, I would not want to be accountable...
     
  5. James_Newman

    James_Newman
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,013
    Likes Received:
    0
    Alleluia! What a saviour!
     
  6. Paul33

    Paul33
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2004
    Messages:
    2,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Pete and James seem to have it right.

    We are accountable to God.

    Wives to husbands.

    Children to parents.

    We have elders who watch over the flock willingly, not lording it over the flock.

    I don't think it is healthy to surrender our responsibilities before God to other men in the church. It becomes very cultic and abusive.

    We listen. We learn. We get advice. We test everything. But we alone are responsible for the decisions we make as men in our homes and we will give an account to God for what we do. I will not abdicate my responsibility to lead in my home to "elders" who want to dictate what I do.

    There is a movement among some church groups to place the elders in "authority" over each individual in the congregation. I don't find that biblical at all.

    Am I wrong?
     
  7. gb93433

    gb93433
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,496
    Likes Received:
    6
    It is not an issue with pastors/elders but with the people who push for authority and not responsibility. With authority comes responsibility. A pastor/elder has tremendous responsibility. But too many who do not know or cannot lead try and push by exertion and striving for authority. Too often it is an authority without serving. Jesus taught the last shall be first and the first last.
     
  8. Paul33

    Paul33
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2004
    Messages:
    2,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Right.

    I am thinking however of those church movements that speak of every person having a "covering" of authority over them, and they mean the "elders."

    They literally do not make decisions without the elders' approval.

    I think that is cultic and abusive.
     
  9. James_Newman

    James_Newman
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,013
    Likes Received:
    0
    Your right, but we must be careful not to take it to an extreme. We do have authorities over us in the church that we must submit to as well. How much authority should we yield to the church? Well, thats a study in itself I'm sure. God ordained the church for a reason, and gave us shepherds to watch over us.

    Hebrews 13:17
    17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

    While I don't think you should have the pastor and elders over to approve every check you write and make sure you disciplne your children correctly, etc... in general, we should be heeding the teaching of the church and allowing for God to work through His 'chain of command'. All too often (regretably even in my own life) I have seen situations where sound godly counsel goes unheeded with disastrous results. We should tread cautiously if we go against the positions of the leadership of the church. By the church, I mean your church.
     
  10. gb93433

    gb93433
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,496
    Likes Received:
    6
    I agree. A few years ago I began meeting with a man who was in a Christian cult much like what you mentioned. It took him about two years before he even began to get a grip on what scripture taught. He was one of the main teachers in that cult too. He paid a heavy price. His wife left him and his kids had a hard time. Finally he did come around though. When I first met him he was very controlling down to every detail.
     
  11. Paul33

    Paul33
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2004
    Messages:
    2,434
    Likes Received:
    0
    Again, right.

    I don't disagree within the context of teaching. Obey them that have the rule over you. When they teach you the Word of God, obey it. That's what they are there for. To teach and expound the Word of God.

    But I'm seeing this go to the extreme of needing the church's permission to marry another believer, etc. Sure we seek counsel and advice. But doesn't it seem abusive when the church (elders) must sign off on the major decisions of life.

    Godly counsel is a wonderful gift from God, but we don't approach it with an "I'll do whatever you say attitude." That would appear to be an abdication of the responsibility God gives to each of us.

    Would any of you agree to this kind of "authority" over you?
     
  12. James_Newman

    James_Newman
    Expand Collapse
    Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,013
    Likes Received:
    0
    Its a balance. We should not err on the right or the left. If the church is grounded in the word, you probably would not find the leadership spending much time looking over your shoulder, as the bible is pretty clear that we need to be minding our own business. Sometimes minding another's business is part of minding our business, and that kind of discernment is something that comes with spiritual maturity. The kind of maturity that the leadership of a church are called to have. But they are only saved sinners like the rest of us, and we should be willing to cut them the same slack we would expect them to cut us [​IMG] Right Wayne?
     

Share This Page

Loading...