Should a husband display the beauty of his wife?

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Gunther, Jul 14, 2003.

  1. Gunther

    Gunther
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0
    Before this thread takes a nosedive, I want to say that this is not an issue of modesty. Of course it is wrong to immodestly display one's wife. That is not the purpose here.

    In I Cor. 11, we learn that Christ is the glory of the father and the wife is the glory of her husband.

    God went out of his way to display his glory in Christ. He put Christ on display for the entire world to see that they might know Him. God the father did not hide the glory of Christ. It was veiled temporarily only because Christ had to be completely man.

    Should husbands do differently? I don't think they should. One should want his bride to look her best at all times, in all circumstances, and in all places. IMHO, it is shameful to see a fella have a wife who does not keep herself up or goes out of her way to look drab, and joyless. What does that say of the guy? My immediate thoughts would be that he is ashamed of her and her looks. No, if she is to be the glory of the man, she should do her best to look it. He should not try to hide it either. Both parties are responsible here. Does anyone else agree?
     
  2. timothy 1769

    timothy 1769
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    0
    i agree with you somewhat :eek:

    but the wife's beauty, on display, should be her good works, her modesty, shamefacedness and sobriety, along with her meek and quiet spirit.

    see 1Peter 3, 1 Timothy 2

    i am a man, and am affected by female physical beauty, but often in a sexual way that unfortunately could lead to fornication and adultery, in the heart if nowhere else.

    but i'm also a christian, and affected by spiritual beauty - it's just as powerfully felt, but it doesn't make me want to do anything wrong, any more than looking into the face of christ would. if anything, it makes me want to be better too.

    for some reason most women think they have to LOOK attractive with pretty clothing, jewelry, make up, etc. but to be honest that just SPOILS OR DETRACTS from what true, inner, christ-like beauty they have.
     
  3. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia
    Expand Collapse
    Guest

    Gunther, my husband is always coming home with nice things for me. He loves for me to dress modern and in style. This question struck a chord with my husband and he really wanted to give you his thoughts.

    This reply is from Diane's husband, Jim:

    I am not sure where this notion that a woman needs to look "frumpy" and unattractive to be in God's Will comes from. It seems to me that it is the "intent and prupose" in which you dress that could cause issues to arise. To be well groomed and wear clothes that fit properly should not be an issue. I am much more offended by individuals who do not take proper care of the body that God gave them and become over weight, out of shape, and then try to hide behind clothes that do not properly fit, and then take offense at people who take pride in keeping in good condition...this is a health issue not an appearance issue. And then object to others who wear clothes that do fit their physique.

    I do not want my wife to look "frumpy" no matter what her age, but to show her attractiveness in a proper, dignified way. This idea that if you do not look like something out of "Little House On The Prairie" is way off base, certainly not scriptural, and only masks others' personal insecurities.

    I do have a problem with some younger women in our church who wear pants and outfits that look "painted-on" and wear shirts that do not cover their stomachs for the younger girls in church to see. These are issues that their husband's need to address and says more about the husband's lack of character and leadership than the wife... in my opinion.

    However, if you think that either dressing like Britney Spears or bar hopping like she does is what Southern Baptists should be doing, then we all are in trouble. There are easily definable standards that are not that hard to adhere to.

    Jim Tavegia
     
  4. Gunther

    Gunther
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0
    Exactly Jim.

    Of course the character of the woman needs to shine through regardless of her looks.

    Whenever I see a woman wear a head covering outside of worship, or a woman dress frumpy, or not try to reflect positively on her husband, I feel sorry for him and she is not being the glory of her husband. It is the opposite actually.

    HCL, this thread did not target you in particular. I simply tried to extend the biblical mandate found in 1 Cor. 11 to our present time.
     
  5. timothy 1769

    timothy 1769
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2002
    Messages:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    0
    diane, is your husband available for debate, or was this a one time posting?

    regards,
    tim
     
  6. Molly

    Molly
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2000
    Messages:
    2,303
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi,Gunther! ;)

    Good post! I agree with you...my husband likes for me to look nice,polished,dressed well,nice natural looking make up...nice clothes. My husband is pretty picky about what I wear...of course it should be modest,but he likes very flattering,stylish,but traditional nice clothes. He would never want me to look frumpy or out of style....but,we both know that the focus is on Godly character and a gentle and quiet spirit...these are stressed more. I have to work harder on these.

    Molly
     
  7. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    29,402
    Likes Received:
    12
    I love my wife and am proud of her. She is looking better now than 33+ years ago when we married . . and I'm being 100% truthful.

    Some people get BETTER WITH AGE! And my wife is one. She has lost 75 pounds, dresses professionally (both in the clinic and church) and her inner radiance comes out every pore! She personifies the listing above of the beautiful, godly woman.

    Am I proud of her and the way she looks? YES. I am reflected in her glory. I am happy to be introduced as HER husband. [​IMG]
     
  8. Wisdom Seeker

    Wisdom Seeker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Messages:
    5,702
    Likes Received:
    0
    I believe that the idea of modesty is to keep men from lusting after woman in an adulterous fashion even within their own hearts.
     
  9. Gunther

    Gunther
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wisdomseeker, perhaps I misunderstood, but I did say in my opening post that this is not about modesty. Obviously, that is priority here.

    HCL, if you read my post, you will not see anywhere where I am talking about flaunting one's wife. That is adding to my words, poisoning the well, and trying to slander my post. Please do not do that.
     
  10. Wisdom Seeker

    Wisdom Seeker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Messages:
    5,702
    Likes Received:
    0
    Please explain what it is that you would like to see in other men's wives outward appearance that you think the husbands are trying to hide from you. and your reasons for being concerned with what another man's wife looks like then.

    My point is that it shouldn't be your, or any other man's concern what another man's wife looks like. And there is a reason why which I already stated.
     
  11. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it goes both ways. Since I'm in the dating arena again, I find that I go out of my way to look the best I possibly can for my date, and she does the same for me. When I was married, many years ago, my wofe and I did this. We'd make sure we'd look our very best, out of respect for each other. The idea of putting on holey pants on a date was then, and is now, well, unholy ;) ...

    Take a walk up Disneyland's Main Street. Every few years, they close the buildings and put on new coats of paint, gold & silver leaf, lighting, and fresh landscaping, whether they are needed or not. Disneyland imagineers don't wait until a building starts to look worn. They prevent the wear from happening. Since we're to be temples of the Holy Spirit, and since marriages are places where a covenant resides, should we not make the effort to make sure that the marital temples are always presented in a respectful manner, rather than wait until it needs more work?

    The "I don't need to look good... it's only my spouse" is a disrespectful attitude, imo.

    OTOH, one can look good in public, and still be modest. Again, notice the windows of the buildings on Disneyland's Main Street, and the modesty of the window treatment. One can have the shades drawn and still look presentable.
     
  12. Wisdom Seeker

    Wisdom Seeker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Messages:
    5,702
    Likes Received:
    0
    A shell without content has no value. The exterior while important to maintain should never exceed in importance the interior of the person.

    I have never liked the trophy wife mentality, I think it's degrading to woman. It is more important that a wife is pleasing her husband than anyone outside of her marriage. So that is why I asked why this concerns you?

    My husband had a question for you G.. "Are you married?"
     
  13. Gunther

    Gunther
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wisdomseeker, I am married to a wonderful woman.

    I am not wanting to see other wives. That is not the point.

    In 1 Cor. 11, it says that the woman is the glory of her husband. It has been suggested that a man hide her somehow. This usually has meant that she not try to look good, dress drab, appear with gloom on her face, etc. That is what I am getting at.

    I am only specifically concerned about my own wife and generally concerned about other men because of the passage in 1 Cor. 11. That is all I am saying.

    A woman needs to strive to grow in her inward beauty and not disregard the outside either.

    Btw, I appreciate the kind way you post. It is very refreshing. Thank you.
     
  14. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well said! To this there can be no disagreement.
     
  15. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    (duplicate post deleted)
     
  16. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia
    Expand Collapse
    Guest

    I understand what you mean Gunther. I'd like to add that it makes me feel good when Jim leaves for work looking nice. He dropped by for lunch today and I just had to tell him how nice he looks. He's got a lot of health problems and is on a lot of medicine. Back in Feb., when we took the picture on my profile, he was all swollen from prednisone. To see him now, you'd never guess he's ill at all. I'm proud of how he dresses and takes care of himself.

    Diane
     
  17. Wisdom Seeker

    Wisdom Seeker
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2002
    Messages:
    5,702
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dear Gunther, Thank you for answering my hubby's question, I'll pass it along. I thought it was a little personal myself...but his wish is my command if you know what I mean.

    Everyone has to go their own way and make their own decisions when it comes to how they appear or what it means in relationship to being a Christian.

    Some woman think that to be strong in their faith they must dress a certain way or they aren't as Christian. I don't really have a problem with someone who dresses like they came off the set of Little House on the Prairie or on the other end of the scale, someone who looks like Joyce Meyer (as an example). Both exibit godliness in my opinion. Depending on how they are. How they look is not what I focus on for my opinion.

    So which of these two is correct? Which is more godly? Some say that outward appearance is an indicator of inward godliness. But I know from experience that this is easily faked. So, I don't buy that arguement. Anyone can dress to look like a certain type of person. But it doesn't make them that type of person. Character isn't found in clothing or hair styles.

    The question I ask myself on this issue, because there are so many varying viewpoints on it is: Is it on the top 10 most important things list to God? And my opinion is "No, it isn't."

    The thing that keeps replaying in my mind is the word you used..."ashamed". Husbands can be ashamed of thier wives even when she does everything to outwardly look right, or good or well kept etc. And equally there are those who look at a couple and think..."What is he doing with her?" But we dont' know everything. Some people are completely happy and even proud of who they are with, and how they look despite anyone's opinion to the contrary. So our opinion about that is really inconsequencial.

    It often makes me wonder why all the importance of appearance is placed on the female.

    [ July 16, 2003, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: WisdomSeeker ]
     
  18. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2002
    Messages:
    9,833
    Likes Received:
    114
    Sister, you said it quite well.

    There is WAY too much pressure on women, whether they be wives or not, to look like the unrealistically ideal woman, thereby "adorning" the arm of their man for all the world to see.

    Yeah, right.

    For the man's "glory".

    Perhaps some of these men here need to rethink just exactly what "glory" is!!

    I'm stunned that anyone believes that it means a physically attractive and alluring woman whose outer beauty is meant to make a man more revered by his peers.

    What about women who are plagued with cancer and have lost their hair and lost their pleasant skin tone?

    What about short women for whom pregnancy was quite a burden on their physiques?

    What about the women out there who will NEVER, EVER be called beautiful by ANY man, no matter how much they try? You know, the ones that the boys all called "dogs" in school.

    I don't like the tone of this thread. Not one little tiny bit.

    Peace-

    YSIC
    Scarlett O. [​IMG]
    <><
     
  19. Gunther

    Gunther
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    Messages:
    616
    Likes Received:
    0
    Before this goes any further, I feel I need to further clarify.

    I am talking about a woman looking lovely. Any woman, any size, shape, etc., can strive to look lovely.

    As far as being ashamed, some guys do look like they are ashamed. They are wrong to be. They should not be. On the other hand, the wife should not act like she doesn't care. It is a bad reflection on the man when the wife does not care what she looks like. If she looks drab because she is apathetic, she is not reflecting inner joy and peace.
     
  20. Artimaeus

    Artimaeus
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2002
    Messages:
    3,133
    Likes Received:
    0
    No. Now tell me, how much of the glory of Christ is based on his physical appearance and what he wore? So why should a husband take this to mean that he should put his wife's physical appearance on display? How does looking beautiful translate into being Christlike?

    Why? Scripture does not support that position. James 2:2 says your respect for such things is not appropriate. According to I Tim 2:9-10 and I pet 3 adorning should not be of a physical nature but a matter of character. No one honors their wife more than I do

    Going out of her way to look BAD is a whole other subject and trying to look joyless IS contrary to scripture. Joy is part of the fruit of the Spirit and IS/SHOULD BE a part of her (and his) adorning.

    "she should do her best to BE it", not look it. I am very pleased with the fact that my wife is quite attractive but, frankly, I consider it none of your business, so, why should I show it to you (generic YOU).
     

Share This Page

Loading...