Should a pastor already be married before he takes a church?

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by MissAbbyIFBaptist, Aug 6, 2002.

  1. MissAbbyIFBaptist

    MissAbbyIFBaptist
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    Well this came up in the other topic on preachers dating youth members. And I just wondered what everyone else's opinion on this was.
    Do you think a pastor ought to be married before he takes a church?
    I always took the scripture to mean that he couldn't have more than one wife, but that's my opinion, and if there's one thing I've learned since coming here, is that there are A LOT of varing thoughts.
    Please share them. I'm interested as to what ya'll will say.
    ~Abby
     
  2. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry
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    "Should" may not be the best of terms. "Must a pastor be amrried before he takes a church?" No. "Should he?" It depends on the congregation and the pastor, IMO. I was not married when I became pastor. I have found Paul's warnings to be all too true. Those who have a wife must care for the things of the wife.
     
  3. DocCas

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    It matters not what we think, but what sayeth the Scriptures.

    If a man desire the office of Bishop (pastor) . . . let him be the husband of one wife. That, to me, seems very, very clear. No wife, no office of Bishop. Two wives, no office of Bishop. [​IMG]
     
  4. Baptist Believer

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  5. cdawg

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    That depends on if you're going by the Baptist or Mormon definition of "Bishop". ;)

    Although, that sounds like a combination of both!

    CC

    [ August 06, 2002, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: cdawg ]
     
  6. tfisher

    tfisher
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    Would it not hinder a pastor's ability to do marriage counseling if he were not married himself?
     
  7. SaggyWoman

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    I don't think so.

    But if you stringently hold to this, then you should also hold strongly to the other guidelines.
     
  8. Dr. Bob

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    What if the pastor was a widower? He WAS a one-woman man, but now (thru her death) he is FREED from that relationship. God said that.

    What if the pastor was a widower and married another woman? Is he a two-woman man?

    Didn't Paul say something about "eunuchs" in the ministry? Or that some would, like him, remain single?

    Hmmmm. Let's not get the one-woman man carried to an extreme far beyond the scope of the Bible.
     
  9. DocCas

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    Likewise, let's not confuse all ministry with the office of Bishop. [​IMG]
     
  10. Bro. Curtis

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    Agreed, but we NEED to stay in the scope of the bible. And I believe the original question was should he be married before he takes the office. And DocCas has given us the verse we need to obey.
     
  11. cdawg

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    I won't presume to speak for Dr. Bob, but I think his point was what if the pastor was a widower before he became a pastor. I have to agree that we must be careful to say a pastor must be married, since it would seem that Paul was either single or a widower.

    While there are benefits to having a wife as a pastor, I think it is incorrect to force that on 1 Timothy 3:2. If we say that verse mandates his having a wife, then we must also rule out Pastors without children, "One that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity." (1 Timothy 3:4)

    CC
     
  12. Pastor Larry

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    I was going to bring up what cdawg did ... the mandate that a pastor be able to rule his household/children. If we apply Thomas's logic (assuming he has correctly understood the verse), doesn't that mean it must also have children?

    I don't grant Thomas's understanding however. I think the phrase means "one woman man." A man can be the husband of one wife and be a philanderer and adulterer and womanizer. He cannot be a "one woman man" and do those things. I think to limit it to "husband of one wife" would violate the idea that Paul is communicating about character. Not to mention both Paul and Jesus would be excluded ...
     
  13. Bible Believing Bill

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    Maybe I'm just showing my ignorance here, but wouldn't you really consider Paul and Jesus as missionaries and not pastors?

    Bill

    [ August 07, 2002, 09:59 AM: Message edited by: Bible Believing Bill ]
     
  14. Pastor Larry

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    That wasn't my point. My point would be that they, the Lord himself, and Paul, the greatest missionary who ever lived, would have been excluded from pastoring churches. Paul did fill the role of pastor in many of the churches he started while he trained others.
     
  15. Kiffin

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    I agree with Dr. Bob and I also do not believe the term "husband of one wife" comes across as clear in English when the term is literaly "one woman man" meaning a Pastor is not to be a womanizer, not necessarily referring to marital status.

    If a Pastor has to be married, then a widower is unqualified until he finds a wife and you are also saying you are more qualified to pastor your Church than the Apostle Paul.(something I find ridiculous) The office of Apostle was a higher office and generaly they were a elder in whatever location they were at and according to many Timothy himself was a unmarried elder when Paul wrote the letter. So the idea one has to be married to be a pastor has no merit and is more of a modern day view of the Pastor being a Pop psychologist and that married people are more mature (Some of the most immature people I know are married) and that Single People are supposely immature (poor Paul, poor Augustine, :rolleyes: ). The phrase is refering to one's moral character not necessarily one's marital condition.
     
  16. TomVols

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    Kiffin & Pastor Larry,
    You offer good solid arguments for refuting the erroneous & stranded notiion that pastors must be married and bear children, not much more to add except that if Paul was teaching that pastors must have a wife and child(ren), it might possibly also be inconsistent with his teaching in 1 Cor 7 (Which I believe Pastor Larry was alluding to).

    [ August 07, 2002, 05:13 PM: Message edited by: TomVols ]
     
  17. rlvaughn

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    First, I am posting a few quotes from the other thread that point up the practical problems of a single pastor dating (especially a member of his congregation). Since I cut and pasted them from longer posts, I hope none of these are taken out of context.
    There is probably a general agreement that a practical problem exists when a pastor is dating, especially a member of his congregation. But most would probably also agree that these are practical and ethical considerations, not that is a sin to do so. If the congregation would restrict him from dating altogether, how would he ever find a wife?

    Two more questions:
    1. What kind of one-woman man is a single man or a eunuch?
    2. Can "mias guniakos andra" be translated "husband of one wife" or is it translated incorrectly?
     
  18. John3v36

    John3v36
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    Do you think a pastor ought to be married before he takes a church?
    =======================================================
    Yes!!! ;)
     

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