Should Baptists Marry...

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by ktn4eg, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. ktn4eg

    ktn4eg
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    ... only Baptists?? [This is assuming that both persons are saved.]

    I've heard of some Baptist preachers that won't marry a couple unless both are Baptists.

    One of them that has this policy told me that he does this because even if both persons are saved, that doesn't mean they necessarily both hold to the same positions on things such as baptism. One could believe it's OK to baptize babies while the other may believe that baptism is only for believers. This might become a problem when that couple start having children.

    Do you think it's OK for a Baptist to marry someone who's saved but is a member of another denomination (e.g., Methodist, Presbyterian, etc.)?
     
  2. abcgrad94

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    I think it's okay if they are "like minded." Not even Baptists agree on all points with each other. ((GASP!))
     
  3. mcdirector

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    heretic ;)

    I married a Baptist and if it's good enough for us, then it should be good enough for the rest of the universe!

    I do think that if you are going to marry someone who is not a Baptist, but you believe you have the same belief systems - then you'd better make sure which church you are going to go to before you get married. You don't want assumptions jumping up and biting you afterwards - not in areas you can plan out anyway.
     
  4. TCGreek

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    The implications of this statement and the very practice are so ridiculous and judgmental.
     
  5. abcgrad94

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    It could be worse. The person could have refused to marry different kinds of Baptists--you know, only Southern Baptists can marry other Southern Baptists, etc.

    I could open the can of worms about inbreeding but I won't go there.:saint:
     
  6. Emily25069

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    I think its okay

    But I do see where it could cause problems.

    My Presbyterian friend is dating a baptist girl right now, and she tells him that she wont ever go to his presbyterian church. They'd have to find a comprimise.

    I'd say thats going to be a problem for him. He's pretty Presbyterian.
     
  7. annsni

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    Our pastor won't marry those who would be unequally yoked. So he'll marry two who are unsaved, or two who are saved. He will not marry a couple where one is saved and one is not. In premarital counseling, we cover a lot - including any differences the couple may have.

    I don't think it matters one iota if both are Baptists or not because I've seen some pretty creepy Baptists who I wouldn't be caught dead dating but then there have been some awesome Presbyterians I'd be interested in were I single. ;) What matters is where is there heart? Is their heart for the Lord? Did they give their lives to Him? Then that's good enough for me - not the sign in front of the building.
     
  8. Rachel

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    That's one I hadn't heard before. I would hope the couple dating would talk about all this before they were engaged. They might have some difficulties regardless, as someone said even Baptists disagree with each other on things. lol I would only have a problem if one was not saved and one was. In that case they shouldn't have dated at all.

    2 Corin. 6

    14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
    16And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
    17Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
    18And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
     
  9. KJVkid

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    I don't think you should marry anybody unless they are both, Ind. Fund, KJV non alcohol non smoking driving Dodge 1500 Rams and willing to take the months of October and November off to hunt! :thumbs: Come to think about it, in our perfect marriage we were able to work through a few incidental things...... I was a country boy she was a city girl, I grew up on a farm her dad was a career man in the USAF, I was a Baptist and she was a Presbyterian. I wanted one or two kids, she wanted a bunch. When we were married she told me she would go along with me to church but would never be a Baptist. Lets see........that was in 1971. I still remember the morning she was baptized scripturally. Well....we made it so far and it's only been 37 short years, 8 kids and 14 grand kids ago and starting 4 churches in 3 states and canada! You know what....I think we'll make it. :wavey:
     
  10. KJVkid

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    Just a side note....after being a Baptist pastor for over 30 years I think I would rather our kids marry someone that "wasn't" a Baptist :laugh:
     
  11. bapmom

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    It is ridiculous for a Baptist to marry someone who is not a Baptist......by definition then they are not likeminded on something which both *claim* is a major part of their life - unless of course, you don't care about which church your family will be attending. ~edited to say - I'm not referring to someone who doesn't know which church they'd want to go to and is open to the Baptists - I'm talking about marrying someone who is committed to another denomination~

    Supposedly you're a Baptist because you believe Baptistically - not because you were born into it, or because of your parents. More so than other groups, baptists are Baptist because it is what we Believe....or at least that's how it's supposed to be.

    Marrying someone who does not believe the same way goes against a unified family. There are supposed exceptions, where people claim they have a peaceful compromise - mom and kids go to one church, dad goes to another....in the long run the kids almost always wind up going to no church at all when they get older and can choose.

    Why would you not want to be unified with your spouse on something as basic as which church you go to?
     
  12. tinytim

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    Dodges? Yuck!
     
  13. pinoybaptist

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    Bapmom, most Baptists are not "like-minded" in many things, so what possible harm could a Baptist marrying a non-Baptist do ?

    But, this is not surprising.

    I've heard of some a Baptist pastor who excluded an entire family from his church because they allowed a relative, who is a member of the same church to be cremated !!

    His reason ?

    The Lord won't be able to resurrect that body at the last day !

    Hohohohohohohoho !!!!

    Yeah, tell that to BJ Carroll.



    Ridiculous.
     
  14. bapmom

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    KJVKid, your wife was willing to follow you to your church - to me that means she was not committed to her own church. And if so, fine, she was willing to submit to you and I applaud that. As a single lady I would never have given up going to the church I believe God had led me to. That would have been my prerogative as a single gal.


    Pinoy, forgive me, but your example doesn't really speak to the issue at hand in this thread. The issue here is a fundamental question of whether your family will be serving God TOGETHER in a church as a unified entity, or Not. Please realize, serving God is not just a side job for me and my family. It is what we do, and if we were not together doing it than we'd be dysfunctional. Perhaps peaceful - I believe you can live in peace together - but that doesn't mean you are operating as you should as a family.

    What possible harm it could do is you are serving in one church, under one set of beliefs, and your spouse is serving in another church under another set of beliefs. What that shows your kids is that it doesn't matter where you go to church AND what you believe. That's not a true message - it *does* matter what you believe. God *does* care - and the kids will get the mixed message you are sending loud and clear - they will most likely not go anywhere.
     
    #14 bapmom, Jan 28, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2008
  15. KJVkid

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    KJVKid, your wife was willing to follow you to your church - to me that means she was not committed to her own church. And if so, fine, she was willing to submit to you and I applaud that. As a single lady I would never have given up going to the church I believe God had led me to. That would have been my prerogative as a single gal.by bapmom

    Maybe it had something to do with......ah......LOVE! Maybe we BOTH, (that's what marriage is you know 100%-100%). I remember the time after we were married and going to the Baptist church when there wasn't anything else going on like, a rainy Sunday so we couldn't go to the river, and God touched my heart and I went forward to surrender my sorry life to Him and felt an arm around me. It was my new bride and through tears she said "I don't know where or what you are going to do but I want you to know I will be right by your side", and she has been for 37 years. You know what............I'd marry that little blond Presbyterian all over again if I could!
     
  16. tinytim

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    So, would you have married a Baptist from another church across town?
    If so, which church would you go to?

    I don't think the underlying problem is Baptist vs. Nonbaptist... but it is a subjection issue.

    I bet if you were sure that God had led this man into your life, you would be in subjection to him, and would have went to any church he desired.

    If you were sure God led him into your life to be your husband... That would mean that God was working through him to grow you.

    Of course, if a lady is not sure God has led the man into her life to be her husband, they shouldn't get married, even if they go to the same church, and sit in the same pew!

    A more important question for the couple should be are they sure God wants them to marry?
     
  17. bapmom

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    Come on sir, after 37 years you know that just love is not enough to keep a marriage going well. It sounds like you have a wonderful wife, and like I said, she followed you and I applaud her for it. But your situation is NOT what I see this thread as being about. Your wife essentially became a Baptist because she followed you to your church. She might not have joined your church - which I see as odd if you started your own ministries and your wife wasn't a part of that (perhaps I misunderstand there, though) -

    but your situation is not the same as the wife going to her church and the husband going to his. That is not a unified family, that is not being one.
     
  18. KJVkid

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    bapmom, by the way I don't know any Baptist that I agree with on everything!! Even Tinytim........if he was right with Christ he too would have a great big Dodge 1500 Ram with a gas guzzling 360 V8 magnum:laugh:
     
  19. KJVkid

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    Come on sir, after 37 years you know that just love is not enough to keep a marriage going well. It sounds like you have a wonderful wife, and like I said, she followed you and I applaud her for it. But your situation is NOT what I see this thread as being about. Your wife essentially became a Baptist because she followed you to your church. She might not have joined your church - which I see as odd if you started your own ministries and your wife wasn't a part of that (perhaps I misunderstand there, though) -

    but your situation is not the same as the wife going to her church and the husband going to his. That is not a unified family, that is not being one.
    by bapmom

    Ah...........bapmom, it must be all about LOVE! It sure isn't about money!
     
  20. bapmom

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    It would depend on what kind of church he went to across town, and whether we could come to an agreement on which church we'd attend later.

    You're right, once we are married I'd have to submit myself to his decisions, and you are right again in that I then have to be absolutely sure he's the one man God would have me marry.

    That being said, I really don't go to the kind of church I grew up in....I followed my husband to his type of Baptist church. I didn't grow up as the same type of Baptist that he grew up as....but through our relationship I was convinced.

    I see that as the fundamental difference here - is one or the other willing or open to following the other spouse?

    But this thread is about one person being Baptist and the other person *remaining* something else.....that's a different animal
     

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