Should I be concerned?

Discussion in '2006 Archive' started by ccrobinson, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson
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    I've been struggling all week with something that I heard last Sunday night, and I would appreciate some opinion about whether I should be concerned or not.

    The teens went on their annual winter retreat last weekend. Evidently, it was a terrific retreat. Some kids got saved and others made some decisions. Sunday night, the preaching was pretty much directed to the teens and some of it was also directed to parents. During the message, the preacher made a comment that has bothered me all week. I don't remember the exact quote, but the paraphrase that I took away was, "Don't undermine at home what we're trying to put into the kids here."

    Here's what bothers me about what I heard on Sunday night. The very subtle implication that I took away was, "Parents, don't get in the way of what we're trying to do here." I'm the one who ultimately decides what goes into my kids, not the church. If he meant that parents need to sort of get out of the way so the church can work, I don't agree with that. If he meant that parents shouldn't be hypocrites, doing one thing at church and another at home, and that this undermines not only what the church does, but also undermines what the parents say they want for their kids, then I'm on-board with that.

    I don't have exact wording, and I realize that you have limited information to base your position, but I would like to hear your take anyway. I don't know whether I'm just interpreting it incorrectly, or whether I should be very concerned. This is the first time I've heard something like this at my church and it bothers me. Should it?
     
  2. Don

    Don
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    Don't ask us; ask your pastor. Get clarification on what he was intending to say.
     
  3. bapmom

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    ccrobinson,

    seeing as we run in the same general circles, let me say that I would have taken that to be a warning to the parents to not be hypocrites. I would assume that your pastor figures that if you are a willing member of this church, than you are on-board with the teachings and the goals of that church. Sounds to me like a "let's work together for the good of the kids" sort of comment.
     
  4. rbell

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    agreed...go to the pastor first, and not to anyone else in the church. Our opinions here would not be informed ones.
     
  5. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson
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    That was quick. [​IMG]

    I should have stated that I do plan on talking to preacher tonight to make sure I understand what he's saying.

    Thank you for your comments. They are appreciated.
     
  6. Squire Robertsson

    Squire Robertsson
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    As I once read:
    Or as is probably the case here inelegant word choice.
     
  7. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303
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    Good idea to go to the pastor and ask. Way too many times people jump to conclusions without knowing what the pastor meant by that comment.

    I have made comments close to that in messages and I agree with Bapmom. I think he was probably challenging the parents to not be hypocrites and live one way at home and another way at church,etc.
     
  8. exscentric

    exscentric
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    Agreed, talk to the pastor, but don't be surprised.

    Have run into youth pastors/pastors that feel they have the "TRUTH" on raising kids and counter what parents say in classes and know they are countering parents.

    Trust your concerns are met.
     
  9. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson
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    I talked to pastor last night about my concerns and thought I would share what I learned.

    I asked him about the undermining phrase. The first thing that he said was that the church is here to help the parents raise their children and not the other way around. He said that what has often happened is that the youth pastor will preach against something, say, girls wearing pants. If the parents disagree, they may make comments like, "Well, the preacher is a little screwy to say stuff like that and you don't need to listen to him about this issue."

    His point is that if you undermine the youth pastor/pastor like this, then your child won't listen to the pastor about anything else. He told me that this has happened many times and that's what he's preaching against.

    He believes, and I agree with him, that if there is an issue, like girls wearing pants, where you disagree with the youth pastor/pastor, there are ways to handle it without undermining their work.

    So, my concerns were met and I was very satisfied with the explanation. Thanks for all of your comments and good advice.
     
  10. Brother Ian

    Brother Ian
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    If you disagree with anything your pastor (or youth pastor) says, you should go talk to them about it.

    In your example, I hardly think the church (pastor) should be telling our kids not to wear pants. :rolleyes:
     
  11. webdog

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    I would say your pastor's comments leans towards being domineering. If your youth pastor holds a non biblical legalistic view on girls wearing pants that you do not hold, to claim you are undermining the pastor is wrong.
    While I wouldn't have used the word "screwy", I would have substituted it with "flat out wrong". I definately would have told my child
    not to listen to him on this matter, as this has nothing to do with biblical doctrine. This is not undermining pastoral authority.
     
  12. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson
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    I should have had more sense than this.

    After a year of being on this board, you would have thought that I would have had more sense than to bring this issue up in the first place. I should have thought it through and realized that this thread was going somewhere I wouldn't want it to. I have no desire to debate the issue of girls wearing pants. I have no desire to hear more criticism of my church or any of the pastors of the church.

    I do have a desire for this thread to be locked before I say something unchristlike that I'll regret later.
     
  13. Squire Robertsson

    Squire Robertsson
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    Concur CC. I'll make it so.
     

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