Should I go or not?

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by C.S. Murphy, Aug 23, 2002.

  1. C.S. Murphy

    C.S. Murphy
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    I left my last Church in March of this year and took a Pastorate 35 miles away. The former Church has had a new Pastor for about 2 months. This Sunday they are having homecoming and we have been invited by several members. We cannot get there in time so it wasn't even a concern but today a Choir member invited me to come to the afternoon singing and sing for them. I told her that if nothing came up I would try to come. Now the Choir leader didn't invite me nor the deacons just members who still love me very much. What should I do? Should I stay away to help the feelings of the new Pastor or should I go out of love for the members. Help me out here.
    Murph
     
  2. go2church

    go2church
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    I would stay away, unless asked by the new pastor and only the new pastor. Give the congregation a chance to "fall in love" with him the same way that they had "fallen in love" with you.
    IMHO your asking makes you think that you feel this way already, but are looking for someone to tell you it is ok, just a thought. I will pray for you.
     
  3. SaggyWoman

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    I wouldn't go until invited by the pastor. And even then, I don't know.
     
  4. Ulsterman

    Ulsterman
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    Definitely don't go, unless you are invited by the other Pastor. I understand your desire to go, but the new man is finding his feet there, and must not be made to feel insecure or undermined by the presence of the former Pastor returning so soon after his departure.
     
  5. ChristianCynic

    ChristianCynic
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    Give the congregation a chance to "fall in love" with him the same way that they had "fallen in love" with you.

    "Fall in love with him"?? That sounds like a lot of corn I don't intend to be involved with again.
     
  6. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry
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    Stay away. Your uninvited (by officials) appearance will only give those who wish for the former days more grist for the mill. If the pastor invites, perhaps it is different ...
     
  7. rlvaughn

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    Do you know the current pastor?
    Is there some reason he would not want you there?
    Were there problems associated with your departure?
    Was there opposition to the call of the current pastor?
    Could you call the new pastor and discuss it with him?

    I don't think I have enough information to advise you. As I read the advice you are receiving, I thought of my own situation. If I followed the advice, I could never visit the homecomings at the church where I grew up and where my family (parents, sister, cousins, etc.) attends. The current pastor has never invited me to attend the homecoming. That may be a little different situation that yours, but I point it out just to note that we are advising you without knowing much about what we're talking about. I would use this rule of thumb - if there is any reason that your appearance at this event would cause harm to the new pastor and undermine his work, it would be best to stay away. I also wondered, did the new pastor and choir director simply not think of inviting because they don't know you? Is my case, the current pastor doesn't give me a special invitation because he expects me to come.
     
  8. C.S. Murphy

    C.S. Murphy
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    RIVAUGN
    Great advise I appreciate it very much. I fear that it might undermine the new Pastor. He seems to be on shaky ground as it is. I have a situation that may be similar to yours at my home Church, they are having Homecoming next week and although they licensed me to Preach and ordained me to the Ministry 10 years ago they have never invited me to speak or sing. It hurts and I am not sure why this is unless the Pastor is uncomfortable having me there. My Pastor who ordained me has been gone for 6 years and when I see the members they always say when are you coming to sing or speak. I always tell them to have the Pastor and Music leader invite me but it has never happened. I love my home Church but I wish I didn't have this apprehension.
    Murph
     

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