You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism. You get infuriated when you hear about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company making tens of millions of dollars, but don't see a problem with an actor, basketball player, or trial lawyer making the same amount. You think the same criminals who use guns in the commission of a crime will just hand them over to comply with the law if guns are made illegal. You want to outlaw cigarettes and legalize marijuana. You believe people should be allowed to euthanize themselves, but not to eat at McDonald’s. You think teenagers can’t control their sexual urges no matter what we do, but child molesters and rapists can do so after counseling. You say, “Why do they hate us?” when America is attacked and “we’re just furthering the cycle of violence” when we retaliate. You think deficits are caused by tax loopholes. You blame the oil companies for high gas prices, but believe in doing everything humanly possible to keep them from drilling for more oil. You think it's obscene that oil companies are allowed to make 10 cents per gallon in profit with gas prices this high, but are calling for the federal gas tax to be raised from 18.4 cents per gallon to 50 cents per gallon. You get more upset about an American soldier accidentally killing a civilian than you do about a terrorist deliberately blowing up a school bus full of kids. You believe education is A) the single most critical key to our future, and B) impossible to measure. You think people that have more than two kids have too many kids, but you want those kids to pay for your Social Security. You burn tons of carbon to attend a global warming conference that demonizes the U.S. and calls for economic penalties against the cleanest nation on Earth. You believe the government should not tell you what you can do in the bedroom but you believe the government can tell you what you may eat or drink. Throwing vials of blood on a person wearing a fur coat is a viable form of protest, but people carrying signs outside an abortion clinic is harassment and radical.