Silly points to ponder

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by thisnumbersdisconnected, Feb 22, 2014.

  1. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    Can you cry under water? I mean, it's coming out of your eyes anyway, so ... ?

    How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    Why do you have to "put in your two cents ... " but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

    Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    What disease did cured ham actually have?

    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    Feel free to add your own.
     
  2. Rippon

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    "That's pure garbage." How can garbage be pure?
     
  3. padredurand

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    Why do you park your car in a driveway but drive it on a parkway?

    How does Teflon stick to a pan?

    What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
     
  4. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a "hearing"?

    Why are you in a movie, but you're on TV?

    Why do people pay to go up into tall buildings and only to rent binoculars when they get to the top so they can look at things on the ground?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    If the professor on Gilligan's Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn't he just fix the hole in the boat?

    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk that never worked to catch dinner, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    Why did you just try singing those two songs?
     
  5. InTheLight

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    Is there a parallel world where there are no hypothetical questions?

    If Mike Brady is such a successful architect why does he have a house with 6 kids crammed into 2 bedrooms?
     
    #5 InTheLight, Feb 23, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2014
  6. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc
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    How can a person be "pure evil"?
     
  7. Salty

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    and only one bathroom
     
  8. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K)
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    Because the driveway is the way to drive up to your house and the first limited access roads were the way through national or state park.
     
  9. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    All joking front and center here, C4K (as opposed to "aside") ...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  10. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K)
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    I hope my fun didn't get in the way of anybody else's fun :).

    I love these lists and love finding out the reasons behind the peculiarities of our language. I, coincidently, had just found out the answer to this one and thought it was fun and interesting.
     
  11. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    Had to give you a ribbing for answer a silly question, didn't I?

    back to the lists ...

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

    Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

    Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it’s much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

    Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

    Before they invented drawing boards, what did they get back to?

    Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
     
  12. InTheLight

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    How can someone be "more dead than alive?"
     
  13. InTheLight

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    Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

    Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

    Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

    Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

    If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
     
  14. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K)
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    Or why do you raise a building only to one day have to raze it?
     
  15. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    If Washington were alive today, could he just flash a buck for his ID?

    Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

    Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as "4′s"?

    Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

    Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?

    How can there be self-help groups?

    How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
     
  16. Carolina Baptist

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    If the opposite of pro is con, what do you suppose the opposite of progress is?
     
  17. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    How do you tell if you run out of invisible ink?

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
     
  18. thisnumbersdisconnected

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    "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

    If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... Is he still wrong?

    If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?

    If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?

    If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

    If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

    If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

    If horrific means to make horrible, why doesn't terrific mean to make terrible?

    If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
     

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