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Singles Sites

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Repent-or-Burn, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Problem is you don’t know whether they have the Spirit or not at a glance. Are you going to judge them off of whether you think they are showing too much shape or even how deep their theological roots go? I asked about “what you require on a maturity level”. What if they have childlike faith and are exhibiting a great eagerness to hear the Words as you preach them? God might even use you to begin their walk in the Lord, then what? Are you then willing to be gentle and loving and wait to see if they are exhibiting the fruits of the spirit as you plant the seeds (feed them)? Hence, the puppy in the backyard scenario.

    I don’t know about you, but I find very few people, even in church, that could explain in-depth Biblical views on things such as Soteriology, most people never get to that level, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have faith and won’t grow as God gives them knowledge, understanding and wisdom.

    Another underlying, “hopefully understood as an exaggerated point here” hence the ;)'s is that if one is approaching women by pointing his finger at them and pronouncing, “SINNER!!! Repent or burn in HELL!” one’s probably not getting a very favorable response. That may have some bearing on the reason E Harmony would rejected someone, I don’t know. Enthusiasm can be a good thing on either side but the approach might be a bit overbearing to the on walking of egg shells worrying about lust as a driving force as well as for the one who is attracted to a spiritual man but feels it impossible to measure up to his standards or maybe even that he is coming on so strong that he might be a nut case. There might be someone out there that would really like to hear what person has to proclaim about God’s truths but he won’t know if he’s condemning people because they are not “mature” enough before he gives it a chance.

    About enthusiasm, if you are punching others with Bible verses the way you have been throwing them at me here, one who has read many of these verses 10’s and 100’s of times, studied them and meditated on them, and do this after having just met and not knowing me, what are you doing when you meet a young lady?

    If need be slow down enough to be aware how you are presenting yourself, consider Paul, the chief of sinners, his humbleness, ability to teach, being all things to all men; search and wait and be patient, you don't know where or how you might meet that right person, don't so easily cut off your options, that would be my point.
     
  2. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    My wife and I must be incredibly dangerous. We're at the gym three times a week.
     
  3. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    I question your definition of immodesty. People at the gym generally dress according to necessity. If a guy can't practice self control just because the woman next to him is wearing tight-fitting spandex, then the problem is with him, not her. SHe should not have to put on a layer just because he can't control his hormones.
    I take personal offense to that. My wife and I have been regular members of a fitness center long before we met each other. Me at least 10 years, and she at lest 12 years. Neither of us has ever come close to being "lead to sin". Frankly, I think your attitude is rather unrighteous on the subject.
     
  4. Repent-or-Burn

    Repent-or-Burn New Member

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    Johnv,
    You question my righteousness and make statements about dress code, with absolutely no scripture used. Human reasoning?

    2Ti 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

    1Ti 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

    Job 31:1 ¶ I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
    Job 31:2 For what portion of God [is there] from above? and [what] inheritance of the Almighty from on high?

    2Sa 11:2 And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman [was] very beautiful to look upon.

    You speak to necessity.
    Going to the gym is not a necessity, and wearing short, tight clothing is not a necessity. I've been to the gym a few times, I dressed modestly while I lifted weights.

    And don't forget, money is not our god. She could, if she thinks she must dress immodestly - do it at home with equipment there.

    You have a loose view of necessity.


    In any case, you are going to the gym to work out. And, you are married already.
    I spoke specifically of going to the gym, for the PURPOSE of finding a mate.
     
    #44 Repent-or-Burn, Oct 23, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2009
  5. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    You're the one questioning peoples'

    That supports what I said. If some dude can't keep his eyes off the woman working next to him, the problem is with him and his lusts, not the person in the gym he's lusting after.
    Well, I've never seen women at the gym adorn themselves with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array, so that point is moot.
    Dont' blame the person on the treadmill next to you if your'e having a problem with your covenant.
    Stay out of the women's lockers, and this won't be a problem.
    THis says much more about your inability to control sexual thoughts than it does the attire of people at the gym.
    The only one thinking there is immodesty is you, based on yru artifial standard, not by any standard of God.
    You have a dirty mind.
    Yep, and I was single when I started. But whether it was before or after I married, lust was never a problem.
    The gym is not a singles club. It's for working out. If you end up meeting someone there, that's an added bonus. Given that you seem preoccupied with lust, I think that will hinder your ability to find a mate, whether it's at the gym, or anywhere else.
     
  6. Repent-or-Burn

    Repent-or-Burn New Member

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    "You have a dirty mind."
    "The gym is not a singles club. It's for working out. If you end up meeting someone there, that's an added bonus. Given that you seem preoccupied with lust, I think that will hinder your ability to find a mate, whether it's at the gym, or anywhere else."

    1Cr 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.


    As to everything else you said, you are simply explaining it all away. There is no point continuing this conversation. You cannot give a single verse to support your view, you can only attack mine, which I have a decent number of. And poorly, as you didn't address the words modest apparel. :tonofbricks:
     
    #46 Repent-or-Burn, Oct 23, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2009
  7. Martin

    Martin Active Member

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    ==I think the Biblical witness on this matter would be one of waiting for the Lord (1Cor 7:17-21, 25-28). Christian singles who spend so much time looking for a spouse often, but not always, sacrifice the now for what they might (nor might not) have in the future. Live for the Lord today and let Him supply your needs tomorrow (Matt 6:25-34). I don't say that in a pious, holier than thou, way. I say that as one who struggles with that very thing. I am not looking for a wife, nor do I want to get married, but I do struggle with waiting on the Lord in other contexts. It is easy to say, but it is hard to do. I know, believe me I know. However I believe I am learning that waiting and trusting is better than trying to bust the door down.

    As for "Christian" dating sites, be very careful. Just because a lady is on that site does not mean she is a Christian. Have you tried talking with your Christian friends, pastor, Sunday school class, etc? Chances are there are people you know who know someone (etc). Just be very careful, there is no reason to rush into anything.
     
  8. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Martin!...how strange...I was thinking about you when I stuck my nose into this tread. I think I"m going to start praying for you, that God shortens your wait...:tongue3:
     
  9. Repent-or-Burn

    Repent-or-Burn New Member

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    Dead-on!

    :thumbsup:
     
  10. rbell

    rbell Active Member

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  11. Johnv

    Johnv New Member

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    You're perverting scripture to support your position. None of the scripture you posted supports yoru position. In fact, much of it supports my position, which is that you have a problem with lust, and are blaming your lust on what women at the gym are wearing, blaming them for wearing form-fitting attire.

    The problem of lust is with you, not everyone else at the gym. If you can't go to the gym without lusting, you should stay away fro the gym.
     
  12. Martin

    Martin Active Member

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    Benjamin said:
    "I think I"m going to start praying for you, that God shortens your wait"

    Martin:
    :eek:
     
  13. Martin

    Martin Active Member

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    ==Good advice! We should all know our weaknesses and stay away from those things/people that tempt us to fall (2Tim 2:22, Matt 5:27-30).
     
  14. Martin

    Martin Active Member

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    ==Gyms, like beaches, lakes, and pools, can be a tricky topic. There are certainly outfits that should not be worn in public (period). However once we get past those very obvious problems there are the grey areas. Here I think we are into a real grey area. However Scriptures teaching to believers is clear (Rom 14:15-23). We should understand, however, that unbelievers are going to act and dress in inappropriate at times. Truthfully we can't except much more from them since they are dead in sin. If going to the gym, pool, lake, beach, etc, causes someone problems they should avoid those places. There are many ways to workout at home (walking, running, lifting weights, etc).


    ==Interesting concept for the gym and one that I'm sure many have tried. Personally I would not go anywhere with the purpose of finding a wife. I would think the best way to find a wife is to be involved in your church, friends, and community. That way you would find someone who is similiar to you. Meeting someone at a gym (etc) just seems rather artificial in my opinion. But, whatever floats your boat! :laugh:

    Personally I stay clear of gyms because they are smelly, unsanitary, and nasty places. My concern is only doubled with flu season and H1N1.
     
  15. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
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    Excuses, excuses, excuses!!!… :rolleyes: Ever consider how easy it is to use excuses which may limit yer options?! [​IMG]

    Artificial?... Let me remind you of a little story about Abraham, the father of faith, who sent his servant ‘to go find’ a wife for Isaac. This servant was told to go to his country to find one and LOW AND BEHOLD there at the dirty old public city well, some place where people might mingle a bit…GASP!...a place that probably had some smells like animal droppings and lots of people around, heck, some of them might have even been sick. What was the plan? Strike up a conversation and put some to the test. AND guess what he found there?! When he got to know her she turned out to be quite the kindred...HMM. Now I’m sure Isaac could have copped an attitu…err…found some legitimate concerns to be negative such as questioning if it wasn’t artificial to pick up on some chick at the gym…errr…strike up a conversation with a woman at the city well. I’m sure he could have even found all kinds of reasons to not go there in the first place and then to slow down any pursuit. But let me ask you, did Isaac waste any time pursuing the relationship once he found out this woman fit the bill???
     
    #55 Benjamin, Oct 26, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2009
  16. ccrobinson

    ccrobinson Active Member

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    Repent-or-burn, I agree. Women should just wear a burlap sack, or maybe a burka. That's about as modest as you can get. That way, you could control yourself around them. Since lusting is an involuntary, instinctual response, I can see how you wouldn't be able to control yourself.

    Or not.
     
  17. Peggy

    Peggy New Member

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    Repent,
    I can see why you are still single.
     
  18. Repent-or-Burn

    Repent-or-Burn New Member

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    Thank you for the honor of your very first post.
    I will take that to mean you are flirting with me, and are being mean because you're too shy to admit you like me.

    Don't worry, some day you'll grow out of it. (I hope.) :thumbs:
     
  19. Peggy

    Peggy New Member

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    I am single, so the title of the thread caught my eye.

    Repent, a little friendly advise.

    With your attitude, you probably scare women away. And no woman could possibly meet your unrealistically high "standards", so you are eliminating women before you even get to know them. A woman is an individual, not a doll that you can mold and choose to your liking.

    Judging people merely by appearances is not Biblical. God looks on the inside, and you oughta take the time to get to know someone before automatically eliminating them.

    Calm down. Mellow out. Don't be so quick to judge.
     
  20. Repent-or-Burn

    Repent-or-Burn New Member

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    Hey, there were three women in my church alone (Two went to college, and the other I'm just not interested in.) who would meet my "high standards" (Which are nothing more than what the Bible commands.)
    If she is a devil on the outside, why would I want to get to know her inside? That tells me a lot about her inside, aka her heart.

    It's actually fairly common within IFB churches. You should try one on for size.
     
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