Some Fun Puns

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by PamelaK, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. PamelaK

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    Feb 6, 2005
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    1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    15. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

    16. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    17. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

    18. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    19. A backward poet writes in-verse.

    20. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

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