Something Bad happened. Was I right?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Marco, Nov 17, 2005.

  1. Marco

    Marco
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    Hey Guys,

    Wednesday night something awful happened. There was a man who broke into my house. I caught him in my living room. Well, he tried to run but before he could make it over the fence at the backyard I grabbed him down. We struggled and I ended up breaking his wrist, two of his fingers, and a rib. Anyway, the deal is I have a lot of guilt. What is guilt? I really wish this didn't happen but it did. Did I commit a sin? Should I sympathize with the man who was stealing and not press charges or am I being too hard on myself? As a new Christian I feel like I haven't had a good start. I really didn't ask for this. I told him I knew aikido, a martial art. I told him to wait for the police. I don't know. Maybe I should have let him go. I was afraid he would return. I'm really bummed out. The police didn't press charges against me, but I still feel anxious about the whole ordeal. I prayed over the situation but nothing so far. I'm kind of lost right now.
     
  2. Petrel

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    My point of view is no, you should not feel guilty. First I think self-defense is a proper response. Secondly, if someone is committing a crime, they should be caught and put under arrest. Thirdly, it's possible that this guy if he had gotten away would have broken into a home belonging to someone unable to defend themselves and hurt that person. I think you did the right thing in apprehending him, and I'm glad you weren't hurt.

    I don't know if it is up to you whether or not to press charges at this point? If it is, I guess I'd say to do what you think is best. I would probably press charges unless possibly if the person was a teenager who had no previous record and I thought they were too scared to do it again!

    If something like this should ever happen again, God forbid, it would be safer in terms of legal ramifications not to pursue the person once he leaves your house. You put yourself at risk of being sued by the burglar or in some places arrested if you defend yourself and there is no immediate threat to your life or property.

    I think it's very understandable that you are upset about this. It's normal and proper to feel remorse at having to hurt another person. However, sometimes it's the right thing to do.
     
  3. Servent

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    If I had caught him in my house he whould have gotten a tail full of buckshot.
     
  4. Marco

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    Thanks Petrel, I feel better. Maybe you are right and I guess we all don't like hurting someone. What I meant about pressing charges was in relation to him running through my patio window as he was fleeing - destroyed property. Not a smart thing to do and he was lucky he didn't get sliced up. As far as breaking into my house the police have the ultimate say on that issue. Anyway, thanks man. God forbid, this should ever happen to you. Yeah, maybe I should have let him go. When you are in the situation you just go with your instinct. A lot of things to think about. Thanks again.
     
  5. Glory-to-God

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    I agree with Petrel....you did the right thing.
    I think God used you to have this guy get caught...who knows if it had been servent's house he would be dead....so don't feel too bad [​IMG]

    Sharon
     
  6. Woodymdt

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    Marco, it's always difficult to consider what one will do when put in a situation such as you were.
    It's easy to let instinct take over and adrenaline shadow your thought process. Yes, there was a point where you were no longer "defending" your life or property, and that is where it should have ended...this guy running, you calling the police. But who is going to fault you for relying on your instinct and pursuing him? Certainly not I.

    I don't know how long you've taken martial arts, but in a sense perhaps a bit of your guilt feeling is coming from training, that you disregarded your training discipline and pursued the trespasser? Just a thought.

    Either way, it's in the hands of the police now. file charges, see that this person is punished by the law.
     
  7. Marco

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    Well, the thing is I knew he was running away. What I didn't know is if he would return again. I guess a side of me didn't want him to think I would let him get away with this. I have kids and I guess I figured I was making a stand. Unfortunately, being 22 I may have not dealt with the situation in the best of terms. Meaning, perhaps I should have let him go.
    I have taken martial arts for many years and aikido is all about self defense, not aggression. Perhaps in some way I failed in that regard. I don't know. Aikido is basically throws and joint locks. Unfortunately, I did break his wrist and his fingers. Ultimately, ended the fight with a strike to his chest. Actually, thinking about this makes me realize I could have immobilized him without doing so much damage...

    It's hard. You'd like to think you are disciplined and focused all the time. Then, you just think of your kids and this guy in your house...

    I did sin. I lost control. This was a no win situation. Thanks for the feedback. I will talk to my pastor about this and perhaps should leave aikido.
     
  8. shannonL

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    You should have no guilt. The dude that is guilty is the burglar. Who knows what the dude was up to?
    I'm glad you caught him. What if you don't catch him and he comes back with vengence because you tried to catch him but didn't . Maybe he brings a gun and shoots you dead.
    A person breaks into my house and tries to rob me or bring harm to my wife and 3 daughters he better get ready to rumble or whatever it takes for me to defend my loved ones period.
    The burglar takes risks when breaking and entering. One of them is getting the tar beat out of them by a dude that knows martial arts. HA HA
     
  9. Woodymdt

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    your training is resolute upon your discipline, and discipline plays a big factor in how you handle your emotions. There really isn't a right/wrong to this. You did what you felt at the time needed to be done. Like I said earlier, adrenaline and emotion played a large factor in your actions.
    that's a good idea
    That might be a bad idea. I would suggest to further your training, including having a discussion with your instructor about what happened as well.
     
  10. Woodymdt

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    If a person breaks into a house, they are usually doing so on the premise that the house is unoccupied at the time. Very rarely will a burglar enter a house when the people who live there are home, unless it's just a kid or a stupid burglar.
    With that said, the last thing on their mind is doing anyone harm, physically...they're under the assumption that no one is there, so no one to harm. Burglars are very rarely aggressive people, they're cowards, that's why they sneak around.
     
  11. Johnv

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    Marco, I think the fact that you're asking the question "should I feel guilty" suggests that you're being mature and respinsible. From reading you OP, it looks like you're describing a perfect understandable and acceptible "fight or flight" response. If you had it in your mind to do harm to the person, then your cincerns might be legitimate. But it clearly was neither your intent, nor your desire, to do him any harm at all. Feeling guilty about having caused harm to him is what a person who is not rationalizing behavior would do. Good for you for being in thie proper and Christian mindset.

    No, you did nothing wrong, or inappropriate.
     
  12. Shiloh

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    Hey buddy you did right! I hope you hit him with a base ball bat. I'm in Maine. I am a Baptist preacher with a disabled wife and three kids at home. If he would have been in my house and I would have caught him like you did.....he wouldn't have to worry about his broken wrist!!
     
  13. Woodymdt

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    I would agree...
     
  14. Plain Old Bill

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    You did the right thing on many levels.This person is lucky he is not dead and now he is thinking in those terms.Hopefully this person will realize that he is not good at his chosen profession and pursue a new career which is good for everybody concerned.You have made the world a safer place in your own small way.His consequence is at minimum some broken bones.He should also have a criminal penalty to pay,having committed a crime.
    When you pray tonight thank God you had the strength and skill to do what you did ,this guy could have really been hurt bad if you had attacked him not knowing what you were doing.It would do no harm to pray for his salvation while you are there.
     
  15. TaterTot

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    I think you did right, too. I am a girl and dont know self defense, but I would have shot too, in a heartbeat. No one is going to be in a position to harm my family and get away with it if I can prevent it.
    I know that you could have killed him if you had wanted to - my husband is proficient in martial arts as well. So you did exercise restraint and self discipline, even in the worst of circumstances.
    In my estimation, you were being a good steward and protector for your family.
    TaterTot
     
  16. menageriekeeper

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    Marco, if he had made it through the dogs and had broken in on me and my kids and he'd have gotten shot.

    Around here burglers are likely to be meth addicts and high as a kite. They are nothing to be played with and we have had many occasions where they come in with weapons. These folks need to be caught. If they suffer a little pain in the process to bad for them. Maybe it will be a lesson to him.

    Ask your kids(if they're old enough) how they feel about you catching the guy who invaded your home. I dare say they feel much more secure knowing that Daddy can take care of trouble when it happens.
     
  17. faithgirl46

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    You did nothing to feel guilty about. The burglar was in the wrong for illegally ennterng your property. IMHO.
    Faithgirl
     
  18. Woodymdt

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    With all respect, I would advise against this. Take it for what it's worth, but what would be the gain in having your children relive this instance, if they witnessed any of it at all.
     
  19. TexasSky

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    Marco,

    It sounds like you did not intend to harm him.

    I do not think you have anything to feel guilty about.
     
  20. menageriekeeper

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    Do you have kids Woody? It doesn't sound like it or else your kids are very very different from mine.

    I wouldn't have to ask mine. My kids discuss things like this to death(not that we've had someone break in our house, but close friends of ours as well as neighbors have). For mine, talking it over(and over and over) is their way of coming to grips with whatever has happened. It makes mine more secure to talk things out, discuss different scenarios(what if?) and decide if there was a better way.

    But my kids are 13, 10 and 7 and so may be much older than Marco's which is why I added "if they are old enough" to my post.
     

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