Spirituality question

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by freeatlast, Mar 10, 2011.

  1. freeatlast

    freeatlast
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    I hope we all agree that a Christian should not hold prejudices against people because of someone's race or culture. In other words we should not see ourselves better then they or push them to the side simply because of their culture or race.
    However I was recently confronted with an issue where someone suggested that if we as Christians do not consider, are totally open, to every other person who is a Christian regardless of race or culture in the area of who we marry then we do not really understand God, as God is not respecter of persons. We know we are to only marry other Christians. So if the other race or culture is Christian are we obligated to be open to them in the area of marriage?
    What are your thoughts on this? Are we really lacking in proper understanding of who we are to be if we reject seeking a mate fro any ans all culture's and race's as long as they are Christian?
     
    #1 freeatlast, Mar 10, 2011
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  2. sag38

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    Of course not. To say so is itself a type of reverse discrimination. (I'm a morally superior Christian because I am not limiting myself to a particular demographic when it comes to seeking a spouse) I'm not saying that I wouldn't have married someone from another race but I wasn't going to go deliberately seeking. And, I still wouldn't if I were seeking a wife.
    I guess I'm really wrong then because in addition to remaining within my race I sought someone who was educated. I sought someone who came from the same socio-economic group. I didn't go down to the local transient trailer park and seek a spouse. I sought someone who spoke the same language, had the same values, shared the same culture, etc.
     
  3. annsni

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    If being a Christian is the only requirement for a spouse, then there are tons of people out there to marry. However, there are personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. that will make the difference. There are men in my church that I love dearly as brothers in Christ but I could not marry them as I just do not see us fully compatible for a life together. Culture matters - race does not. Culture matters because there are some things that might just be too large an issue to be able to stay together - language being one of them. Hey, if we can't speak to each other, why marry????
     
  4. glfredrick

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    I know multiple couples, who are successfully and happily married, who are of mixed ethnicity in their marriage. Many are missionary couples who met on the field.

    Yes, there are cultural differences that need to be worked out, and certainly there are heart issues in EVERY marriage, whether or not culture is actually a big factor (and I assume that culture is a big factor in every marriage -- the merger of two distinct families into one IS a big deal, culturally) that must be overcome, but the first command of every Christian is to LOVE unconditionally, and that includes marriage.

    Arranged marriages actually have a better track record than do the dating/fall in love scenario, but that is not to say that we should run to arranged marriages! What we should do is run to wise marriage, where we learn of the biblical mandates and then put them into practice over and above our own needs or desires. In that, we begin to gain an understanding and intimacy that makes marriage work.

    Further, marriage is God's way of demonstrating the truths of His kingdom, which will certainly be of every tribe, tongue, and nation -- all gathered together in love before His throne. We will not on that day point out the fact that one of us is black and another white, yet another yellow. We will look to our God and worship Him, arm-in-arm, in love, just as we do with our wife in marriage.
     
  5. freeatlast

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    annsni and glfredrick I don't disagree with what you have said, but the responses really are not the focus of the question. The question is if God is no respecter of persons and we are to be as He, is it incorrect for a Christian to base the mate they seek on the race or culture they are of? In other words are we being unspiritual because we would not look outside our own race or culture?
     
  6. annsni

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    See, I wouldn't care what race or culture someone came from - but to say that we're unspiritual because we don't SEEK outside our race or culture is wrong. I looked for a spouse amongst the people that I was around. My husband happened to be my youth leader when I was young. I didn't need to look elsewhere.

    But my daughters are now dating age. There was a boy who was interested in one of my daughters who was a black Jamaican. I'm fine with that. Of course he didn't have the qualities that my daughter was looking for so she passed him over. Another boy passed (for a time) who was from Guadamala. His parents are still learning to speak English and they are legal aliens here. I would have been fine with that relationship ending in marriage - until he decided to try to cross a line that my daughter didn't want to cross and so she ended the relationship.

    But obviously, we should not turn someone down just because they are black or hispanic or Chinese or whatever. I don't care if they are green with two heads - they are to love the Lord and love my daughter - as well as have some sort of ability to support the two of them. If they do that, they are passing a huge part of the test. It was the same for me.
     
  7. sag38

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    Being a respector of all persons does not mean that I can't be selective when choosing a spouse.
     
  8. glfredrick

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    I don't think there is anything inherently sinful in seeking a bride outside of one's own culture (thought that was what I said above). But, that being said, the couple will need to realize that there WILL be issues to overcome.

    I'm not even sure why you'd worry about being un-spiritual by not looking to another culture. I'm not sure we can conflate the two topics that you are working to combine. We can be guided by Abraham, who sent a servant to fetch Issac a bride from his people instead of marrying one from the new people in the new land. Jacob did likewise, but there were issues with "God's covenant people" in those cases. The Bible, for the most part, is culturally or ethnically blind. We seldom know the color, etc., of a person, which should indicate to us that God is not really all that interested in that aspect of humanity (apart from the fact that He is interested in everything...).

    IF the primary reason for seeking a mate outside of one's culture is simply that they are not attractive or loving enough to land a mate within the culture, then there may be some other issues to discuss, but no harm to marry outside of the culture. As I said, I know multiple successful marriages that are definitely culturally and ethnically mixed and they are doing fine.
     
  9. freeatlast

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    You are still not understanding what I asked. I am not asking if it all right to cross racial or cultural lines. I am asking if others think that if we do not consider every race as a possible mate when we look for a spouse are being unspiritual or prejudiced when God is no respecter of persons.
     
    #9 freeatlast, Mar 10, 2011
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  10. annsni

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    If we refuse to date someone just because of their race or culture, yes, we are being prejudiced.
     
  11. StefanM

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    I completely disagree with that.


    Marriage, by definition, is an exclusive relationship. We MUST prefer one to everyone else because otherwise we would be adulterous.

    It's not appropriate to compare God's cross-cultural love for humanity with the relationship between a husband and a wife in this way.

    God is not a respecter of persons in salvation, but he is also not seeking a committed sexual partner, either.
     
  12. freeatlast

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    Ann while that was not the actual words (prejudice) of this bible teacher it is close. He felt that if we would not consider someone based on race or culture we are not in touch with God as we should be. I hope I can find that link to his message and can post it so others can better understand this. While I didn't agree with his teaching on this, and this issue was just one short section, I wanted to hear other's views and then consider mine again.
     
  13. Salty

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    [prej-uh-dis] [​IMG] Show IPA noun, verb, -diced, -dic·ing.
    –noun 1. an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.
    2. any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.
    3. unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding a racial, religious, or national group.

    As you can see by the definition above - being prejudice does not necessarily mean a bad thing.

    If I would only date women who wore dresses - is that necessary a bad thing - NO - it is a choice of mine. I am married, but when I was single, I Personally, would not date a person of another race. It simply not my preference.
    Now if (# 3) if you have hostile feelings about a group simply based on that difference is another thing.

    I hold absolutely nothing against a person who prefers to limit his potential partner to a choice that he determines is best for him.
     
  14. freeatlast

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    Allright here is the link to the message if anyone wants to listen and respond. he gets into this area about half way through but to get the gest of his teaching and be fare it would be best to listen to it all if possible. So if you start about half way it will take about 5 minutes or so to get to what he says on this.
    it is called
    Colossians 3:10-12 - A New You
     
    #14 freeatlast, Mar 10, 2011
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  15. sag38

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    All things being equal between two candidates of different cultures I'd choose the one that is the closest match to my own and I see no reason why that would be a sin.
     
  16. freeatlast

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    I am inclined to agree with those who see it is not wrong to reject certain races or cultures for marriage.. I felt that the guy who was teaching this went way too far. I just wanted some others to express themselves so i could gage my feeling on this.
    Actually I go even further on this. Here is what i mean. I have no problem with ethnic differences simply because of a race. I could care less who marries who. I however as a believer am not obligated by scripture to look towards anyone outside my race for marriage any more then those who go outside their race are obligated to do so.
    Also I am not obligated to become a member of a church of a different race. it has nothing to with the race itself but normally blacks and whites have total different services and i am not interested in the others services so i don't join their church. I don't even like certain types of churches of my own race so I won't consider to join them either, all based on their culture.
    So I don't agree that this has anything to do with lacking spiritual understanding of God. it is simply a personal choice.
     

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