Step Parents

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by Salty, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    Two major questions:

    1) what should a child call a step-parent
    does age make a difference - suppose the child is 3,6,12, 16?
    How about the realtionship the child has with his bio dad - say it is at a minium fair and 10 year old Johnny calls his bio father "Dad" - thus what does he call Step dad

    2) How much authority should Step Dad have over his step children? What kind of discipline should he give - or should he defer all discipline to mom.

    Often a child will say "You are not my real Dad"

    Another problem is that both Bio parents may be too lienint with the kids - so they (the parents) will stay on the good side of the children. Say mom has full custody - if Step-dad insists on proper discipline - then Bio mom might be afraid that Johnny will say at age 14 "the judge said I now can choose who I want to live with, and I choose Bio dad" (because Dad gives me everything I want and lets me do anything I want to do)

    Have you seen situations like this in your church? How do you handle - especially - step kids who misbehave in church- with no assistance from parents/step-parents.
     
  2. Salty

    Salty
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    100 views - and no response yet?

    Would like some good response - especially from those who may be in such a family and/or pastors who have counsled such families.
     
  3. Gib

    Gib
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    My wife's dad died in 1993. She and her siblings were all grown at the time. Her mom remarried in 1995. Neither she nor her siblings call him dad. It's always "Mom and Larry." The grand kids refer to him as Larry as well. Larry's kids refer to my wife's mom as Sharon. We all love and respect Larry. He's the coolest step father-in-law I know.

    Our Pastor and his wife are foster parents. Their 7 year old son was once their foster child. He called them mommy and daddy before the adoption was complete. He's aware he's adopted. His biological mother is part of his life, but he doesn't know who she really is. He thinks she is an aunt. Of course Pastor and wife have complete authority over him.

    My sister remarried several years after her husband died. She already had 2 small children. She and her new husband have had a child. That child, of course, calls her daddy, daddy. But the other 2 children call him by his first name. I know my sister has had the convo that he is now their daddy, but wants them to call him daddy when they are ready. I just call him dead beat dad.

    The step dad does have some control over his step children, but he usually lets their mother have the last word.
     
  4. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
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    For me, it depends on the relationship. And it could change.
     

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