I’m trying to bring up a Christian family without having seen many good examples to follow! Problems involved: My 12 year old son has been being pursued by two little girls for about two years. Now these two little girls are cuter than bugs ears, polite, well mannered, but to my observations awful persistent and having an agenda that is beyond acceptable for child relations. My son is feeling very hurt and set apart from his peers by my guidance yet he wants to do right. My short answer has been No to having girl and boy friends if they are considered commitments for my 14 year old daughter and 12 year old son though I do try to explain the reasons why. Recently my son has been getting hurt by me not letting him declare to a girl that she is his girlfriend. He has been playing on my wife’s emotions of sympathizing to normalcy in that “everybody” does it. My wife and I are at odds now with her thinking I’m to “intense” but I am just trying to teach the real meaning of love and to keep my children free to make wise choices as they grow and learn. Now I could use some advice also in dealing with my wife in this issue of disagreeing and getting us as a family to set aside time to be altogether learning which has been very difficult to get her involved as she seems to have a real reluctance to me instituting such a thing. I will give an example of my emailed response back to her for input and also wonder how to go about to comfort her and my children while instructing them to do what is right. My response, after getting chewed out, to my wife as I try to be a spiritual leader in our house: My thinking of reasoning to my children so that they can understand I’m not separating them from the real world but teaching them to live in it wisely and Christian like: If you tell this person you like them a lot and yet they will not accept you if you will not make a commitment – do they really like you? If that person then turns around and becomes committed to another person or has that other person commit to them, have you really lost that person or is the truth that you never had their true affections? What can you conclude from this kind of loss? A) They did not want to give their love to you freely (within grace) and the need of commitment was motivated of the wrong reasons. B) They felt the need to have power and control over you which shows a mistrust and self coming first. C) They don’t understand true love comes from actions not words and promises and maybe we can discuss ways for you to explain this to them. D) If this person is pressuring you to make a commitment they most likely have value for you, if so, then how precious did they hold you if you fear threatened by not committing to them that they may commit to another? E) If you are hurt by this person turning to another how smart are you to deny the fact that their affection for you was very shallow and are you not wrongfully putting possession of them above the common sense of what true love is about? (grace) What else can you do to explain to a 12 year old the ramifications of commitment or am I just off in left field here? Is there another good way to handle this situation?