Stubborn family and friends...

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by Brother Adam, Nov 17, 2001.

  1. Brother Adam

    Brother Adam
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    Do any of you have stubborn family or friends who when you ask them what they would like for Christmas say "I don't want anything"? Now I typically like to get my family and friends a gift from my heart just to say hey- thanks for always being there, but should I get someone something who is being rather insistant about not wanting anything?

    UNP, Adam
     
  2. Karen

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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by flyfree432:
    .....Now I typically like to get my family and friends a gift from my heart just to say hey- thanks for always being there, but should I get someone something who is being rather insistant about not wanting anything?

    UNP, Adam
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Probably no one size fits all answer. But I probably would give them something. There are a number of small, inexpensive gifts that can let the person know you are thinking of him/her. Eg. a classic movie video (around here can get for about 3 or 4 dollars) in a little basket with a package of popcorn and a packet of hot chocolate, all tied with a ribbon.
    Or a small bar of fancy soap (around $2). Or a jar of fancy jelly. Or a Christian tape or CD. Or a purchase for the Salvation Army angel tree in their honor.

    I guess you have to figure out what is going through the person's head. Do they feel pressured because they don't have money to buy presents? Do they have trouble showing affection? Some people say don't get them anything but they really are testing you.
    Some people are just VERY practical and would rather have nothing than something they have in mind.

    Some of the best presents I have received, though, were not on my list but were from the heart of the other person.

    Karen
     
  3. Don

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    How about making a donation in their name?

    That way you don't give them something per se....
     
  4. Barnabas H.

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    Adam, if anybody in your close family and circle of friends do not want you to give them any gifts it may be that they want to spare you the expense. They must know that you are a student, without any financial resources and they would feel bad if you spend on them your last pennies. Could it be that? [​IMG]
     
  5. Brother Adam

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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Barnabas:
    They must know that you are a student, without any financial resources and they would feel bad if you spend on them your last pennies. Could it be that? [​IMG]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Yes and no Barnabas- Granted I don't have a great deal of money to spend on others, yet I think the motivation behind this is more that one person in particular doesn't want to recieve anything because it makes them uncomfortable. But I have something very particular in mind that I want to give them though so.... I'm kindof thinking out loud [​IMG]

    UNP, Adam
     
  6. Larry

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    I can't help wandering, is this person saved?

    Perhaps a card with some heart felt words about the gift of eternal life?
     
  7. Dr. Bob

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    Got a Christmas card from a friend last year. Said, "Instead of sending you a gift, we planted a tree in Israel in your name."

    Man, I thought, what a special gift.

    Inside it read, "Your day to water it is Tuesday."
     
  8. Amazing_Grace

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    I am one of those people!

    When my relatives get upset with me for saying I don't want anything, I explain to them that the Lord has blessed me with plenty, and then tell them that if they still feel they must do something, I ask that they take the money they would have spent on me and put it in the collection plate or buy toys for needy children with it.
     
  9. Amazing_Grace

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    Didn't mean to sound like I'm so wonderful or anything, to clarify. I really don't feel I need anything, I'm doing pretty good. Maybe they feel the same.
     
  10. AdoptedDaughter

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    I think that I am the one that Adam is writing about.

    Yes, I am saved.
    Origianally posted by Amazing_Grace: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Didn't mean to sound like I'm so wonderful or anything, to clarify. I really don't feel I need anything, I'm doing pretty good. Maybe they feel the same. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    The Lord has given me everything that I could possibly need or want. A home, a family, best friends, a wonderful boyfriend, and His eternal life.

    It makes me uncomfortable, not because I'm not good at showing affection, but because I don't see a need to have anything given to me. I know that it's the thought that counts, but I would rather have a card that said: "I knew that you didn't want anything, but I thought that I'd give you this card to know that I was thinking about you this holiday season."

    That would mean more to me than any gift ever could.

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
     
  11. Kenneth77

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    I'm not blond or anything but I just noticed that BaptistForever and Flyfree, you go to the same Church. I was wondering why BaptistForever said Flyfree was talking about her. Go figure, both of my parents have dark brown, black hair.

    About the gift thing. If they don't want a gift and you really want to get one. Send it to me. I'll gladly accept it. My address is..... :D , Kenneth
     
  12. AdoptedDaughter

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    Kenneth,
    I almost know for a fact that Adam is talking about me because he and I have talked about me not wanting anything for Christmas. I put up a big fuss, and he would have been a bit more leniant about what gift he was thinking about if it wasn't me.

    He has been very careful on this thread because I am a regular poster on this board.


    I would rather not recieve a gift, but I know that it is coming from the heart, and for that matter I will accept the gift.

    You wouldn't believe the fuss I put out about him getting me a gift.

    I don't know any of his friends or family (besides myself) that has told him continuously that they did not want a gift.

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
     
  13. Lorelei

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    I can relate to Baptistforever and Amazing grace. I enjoy giving gifts, but I don't feel that I need anything and I always think that the money can be better spent on someone else.

    But I shall reveal a secret. I don't really like money spent on me and when I say I don't need anything I mean it. But a gift that shows love was poured into picking it out does have a tendency to brighten my day, regardless of whether it was asked for or not. Either way I will NEVER say what I want anything, for I really truly don't. That just doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the gift if it's given, but I am not disappointed if my advice is followed and I don't receive a thing.

    Ah, I fear to say it's a female thing and therefore you will never understand so I will just quit trying to explain! *hehe*

    Sorry I couldn't be of more help! [​IMG]

    ~Lorelei
     
  14. Helen

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    Got plenty like that, Adam! My oldest son earns twice as much as I ever did and that is without all the extra perks he gets! My mom is 80, almost deaf and blind, I have a brother who invented something that is making him a millionaire, a sister who is not speaking to me because I am so 'religious', and another sister who has found 'inner peace' in eastern mysticism. I have a seventeen year old daughter who wants everything and a seventeen year old retarded son who wants nothing but more time with his purple Barney. That is just a start!

    Here's what I do, since we are distinctly NOT wealthy:

    lots of breads, cookies, and fruit baskets for almost everyone. Gift certificates to favorite stores or calling cards for those who are poor. Funny stuff for those who are rich, or just something really pretty along with the breads and such. Food for guys. Always food for you guys!

    And this year I have collected from all over the house (literally) the zillions of pictures taken through the years and I am making each of the kids a s****book of their lives so far. This not only gets rid of some of the accumulation of pictures, but it lets them anchor themselves a bit as their adult futures are taking over.

    Plant some spring bulbs in a pretty dish and stick a pansy in for the wintertime for some of the women if you like. Fresh flowers in the house are always lovely.

    Your big present to someone special? Or to everyone? Tell them, and mean it, that you will be praying for them at least once a week through the coming year, specifically and earnestly. Then make yourself a prayer calendar and stick to it. That is the "mostest and bestest" you can do for anyone.
     
  15. Brother Adam

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    Yes Baptistforever I am talking about you ;) but hey I think you will be shocked and surprised and get something that you never expected I would get you...teehee- don't you love leaving your g/f in the dark :D

    Thanks all for the advice.

    UNP,
    Adam
     
  16. Gina B

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    [​IMG] da Gina &lt;--- smiling
    And I'm sure it will be accepted with grace.
    Hey, we don't have a pic of the two of you together, do we? :D (you know how I am about pics) :D We need a Christmas one! Pretty please?
     
  17. AdoptedDaughter

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    Gina,
    Do we have too?!

    I don't really want too!!!

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
     
  18. Grace

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    I agree with Gina--We want pics.
    I almost told my parents that I don't want anything. Then I thought of something I do want. A piano bench so that I can practice without the pain in my wrists from a chair that sits too low.
    I don't like people to spend a lot of money on me. I went all out this Christmas and I actually spent over 30 dollars on one present-now, for me, 30 dollars is a lot of money. I don't regret it becuase seeing the look on my Grandmother's face was worth it all. Yes, she's already opened it. I couldn't stand having it sit in my room anymore. It was a picture of me and my sister in an engraved frame. The frame at the top said "Collossians 1:3-5" and at the Bottom said "Jessie and Britt" OK-everyone can say "AWWW" Really though, I love to give people things, but I feel bad when people get me something that I don't really need. (It's always worse when someone gives me something that they have put absolutely no thought into and I don't like the gift...) ;)
     
  19. Gina B

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    Nah, you don't have too. But I would smile from ear to ear if you did! Kinda like that big grin on the AIM thingie with all the teeth! :D
    Hey, I still haven't put MY pic up on this board, so I guess I can't complain! ;)
    da Gina
     
  20. Cindy

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    Well, Gina, I've seen your pic, and I don't know if the BB is ready for such beauty! This lady is gorgeous! [​IMG]

    Elizabeth [​IMG]
     

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