Super Bowl Sunday and Church Football

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by InTheLight, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. InTheLight

    InTheLight
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    With Super Bowl Sunday coming up, here are some applicable football definitions for church behavior. Pastors on BB might find this useful this Sunday.

    Church Football

    Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

    Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during worship

    Half time – The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

    Bench warmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

    Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

    Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

    Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

    Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week’s illustrations.

    Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the Preacher goes “overtime”.

    Trap – You’re called on to pray and are sleep.

    End Run – Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

    Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

    Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

    Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
     
  2. Christos doulos

    Christos doulos
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    How about a "Stanley Wilson"- The church that is a no show (cancel service) during the Super Bowl
     
    #2 Christos doulos, Jan 31, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2012
  3. gb93433

    gb93433
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    Those who are not in church could claim Tebowing.
     
  4. saturneptune

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    For the invitation song that day we can sing "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life."
     
  5. gb93433

    gb93433
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    I had never heard of that song until someone posted it a few days ago.
     
  6. saturneptune

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    I think it was sung by Marty Robbins, if I remember correctly. Typical of country music. Thats what I love about country music, it always stimulates the deepest of thoughts in the human mind.
     
  7. gb93433

    gb93433
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    Anything to sell records to make money. It is also typical of so many businesses. If they cannot sell their product then they cannot stay in business unless they sell a lesser number at a much higher price. In the end they must have $$$ to exist.
     

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