Suppose you're sitting in your car eating lunch...

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Spinach, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. Spinach

    Spinach
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    Suppose for just a minute...

    First, you are diabetic. You must eat regularly to maintain blood sugar levels. You can tell when you need to eat and you are good about taking care of yourself. You never drive while having low blood sugar.

    Second, you go to town regularly. Each time you go to town you see a teenage beggar. You can't tell whether the teen is male or female, but you are pretty sure the teen has mental delays. This teen always asks for money.

    Third, each time the teen asks you for money, you ask if the teen is hungry. The answer is always no (and the teen doesn't look like any meals are being missed). You have told the teen about the nearby church where there is a daily feeding. You even offered to take the teen there yourself. This falls on deaf ears. Only money is wanted.

    Now here is the scenario where you must give a WWYD...

    You have just finished a busy mission morning. Your blood sugar levels are dropping, so you go to the grocery store for a quick bite. On your way in, the teen asks you for money. You see that someone has given the teen a bag of oranges.

    You finish your shopping quickly and then run back to your car and start eating right away.

    The teen comes to your car window and is staring.

    What are your thoughts at this moment?

    You already asked if the teen was hungry and the answer was no.

    But the teen won't budge. Soon it goes from staring to window tapping. And you MUST eat.

    Now what are your thoughts?

    WWYD?

    And would your answer change if you had your children with you?

    This is not a hypothetical.
     
  2. Trotter

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    I would crack my window and tell him, "I have already told you no and I meant it. Now go away or I will call the authorities."

    That or I would put the car in gear and pull off. If I got his toes, oops.
     
  3. abcgrad94

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    Spinach, this actually happened to me a few weeks ago. I was eating my lunch in the car outside the fabric store where I was taking a quilting class for the day, when a man (not a teenager) did this. My car doors were locked and I did not speak or communicate with him, just ignored him, and he left. Had he not left, I would have hit my car alarm and quickly driven away.

    Under no circumstances would I open a window or car door with them standing right there. If I were you, I'd tell the authorities he's harassing the store customers.
     
  4. donnA

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    always begging, says he isn't hungry, follows you to the car and stares at you, I'd call the police, never know when this is a dangerous situation.
     
  5. Peggy

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    You really have to consider your own safety and the safety of your children in that situation. Yes, it is good to be kind and offer to feed someone who needs it. But when that offer is refused, and it is only money that they are after, and they start to harass you, then it is wise to get out of that situation and possibly call the police.
     
  6. annsni

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    Understanding that you are in a different place than the US so things are VERY different than here, I think I would have rolled down the window a little bit and asked him what he needed. If he asked for money, I would have just told him gently that I didn't have anything for him and if he wants any help, that I've told him to go to the church. I would have then told him "Good day" or something similar then closed the window and continued eating.

    Another thought would be, if you are not worried about him being a druggie or something like that, would have been to offer to buy from him two oranges for a dollar. Honestly, oranges would help with the blood sugar AND it would be showing him how to get money without begging. I'm not sure of the whole situation though, but it's something that I would consider doing. :)
     
  7. Spinach

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    He had a bag of oranges when we pulled up. He was eating one of them. But after a while of walking around asking people for money, he went and put his bag of oranges behind the store. Either he was tired of carrying it or felt that holding it hindered his chances of getting money. I really don't know.

    We ignored him, but his staring really bothered one of our daughters. She started to cry and said she would give him her lunch. We explained to her that we already asked him is he was hungry and he said no.
     
  8. annsni

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    Yes, I think this is a perfect opportunity to show your children that charity doesn't mean leaving your mind at the door. To show them discernment and explain why you do what you do will really help them to understand when they get older. Our family would most likely end up in quite a discussion about the whole situation and we'd see what the Bible had to say about charity - and people's responsibility for themselves. It's a good lesson, although obviously in your situation, it's a bit painful because it's right in your face.
     
  9. SaggyWoman

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    One time I had stopped by a BoJangles (chicken joint) to get me lunch between two meetings that I had. I had got in line, and this man got in line with me and started talking with me. As I approached the counter, he kept on talking to me, so I waited. He kept talking and talking. I motioned for him to go ahead and order, and he wouldn't. People were lining up behind us.

    As I attempted to order for myself, he got up beside me and I felt like either he was going to order as well on my check, or he was going to steal my chicken. So I waited, and he kept on talking.

    I let a few people order in front of me and he kept taking my attention. At one point, I think he wanted me to order him some chicken. I felt more aggravated than filled with compassion. If he had asked me prior to getting in line and monopolizing me, I may have had more compassion.

    I ended up leaving the store without buying either of us anything.
     
  10. JohnDeereFan

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    I would simply say, "If you want me to, I'll be more than happy to take you to a shelter where you can get a hot meal and a warm bunk for the night but I can't give you cash".
     
  11. Salty

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    Thats exactly what I did once. The Rescue mission was just down a few blocks. His answer " I'm not gonna eat that slop"
    I guess he wasn't hungry.

    Salty
     
  12. JohnDeereFan

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    Several years ago, a friend of mine and I needed workers in a hurry.

    We went to a local homeless shelter to see if we could round up five or six guys to do two to three days' work.

    We explained to them that we would feed them, pay them well, give them a place to shower, do laundry, etc.

    Out of the ten or twelve guys we asked, only ONE took us up on it. I don't know what became of him but if any of those men aren't homeless anymore, I'll bet anything that it's him.

    I was a social worker for several years and still am, to some small degree. You do learn pretty quickly to tell who wants help and who just wants a free ride.
     
  13. Salty

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    Your reply made me think of Luke 17:12 - 19

    Salty
     
  14. pinoybaptist

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    Given the mannerisms described, I don't think I'll even let him into my vehicle.
     
  15. John Toppass

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    My concern with your situation is that it seems it is not uncommon for a diabetic to have low blood sugar emergencies often. Which would mean if that diabetic thinks they are taking good care of themselves then they are mistaken.
     
  16. Spinach

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    It's not common to have emergencies. But he knows when he needs to eat and makes sure that he does.

    On the teen, usually he is by the post office asking for money. This was the first time we saw him by the grocery store (but it was Saturday and the post office was closed). This is also the first time he got so pushy. Ignoring him worked for about five minutes. Then he was back, tapping.

    I feel badly for him. I don't think he's out there begging of his own will.
     
  17. dcorbett

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    We have a chronic problem with panhandlers and alcoholics trying to get money. We get multiple calls in here daily to move them along, pick them up, arrest them.

    I would never offer money or food or work. They only want hand outs, they don't care how or where they get those handouts, and they usually
    stay drunk 99% of the time on whatever money they can beg, borrow, or steal.

    Homeless? Most have family that will come and get them if we call. Some refuse to go with their families, they would rather hang out with their drunk buddies.

    No thanks, don't ask me for help.
     
  18. SaggyWoman

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    I find that most of those who are "in need" are not prone to be out panhandling. I am not against helping the down and out. In fact, except the grace of God, there go I, and I have been "in need" before. May be even again.

    But, I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging for bread.
     
  19. abcgrad94

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    Amen!

    Spinach, what bothers me about this teen is that it seems he's trying to intimidate you into giving him what he wants. Right now he's being passive-aggressive about it, but if he's on drugs, the behavior may escalate. We had a troubled youth like this who first just asked for food and money, then he ended up pulling a gun on me on the front porch of the church. He also tried to break into our home. Please be careful.
     
  20. windcatcher

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    I can empathize with you in this uncertain situation.
    You want to be helpful and offer that which God would have you to.... but at the same time you have to consider your safety, the safety of your kids and your obligation to provide for them and the devilish ways people will defraud one another with hidden lies and motives.

    I remember a certain part of town.... generally considered quite safe and well open to the heavy traffic on a major hwy: A skinny, short man with dishelved but clean clothes but a beard and unkempt hair which looked like it'd never been combed. He was always talking to himself and often times restless. He frequented the Waffle House where I'd often find my brother when I hadn't seen him for days and was wondering about his own welfare. Well this guy seemed to notice me an sort of attached himself to me by wanting to 'chat' with me. It did little good as I couldn't understand what he'd say. A time or two, I'd see him in the WH sitting alone and drinking coffee. I inquired of the people who worked there if they knew anything about him and if he bothered anybody. I was told that he was just a 'crazy' man ( which I already recognized as a probable schizophrenic) who lived in a group home behind the nearby shopping center, but he wasn't known to be a threat to anyone. He hardly ever dressed appropriate for the weather, and even Florida gets cold. I started noticing that he wandered between the WH and a restuarant across the street (a four lane crossing), but looked lost and abandoned and wasn't going inside. I inquired of management at the WH if he was permitted inside.... and they said he was. I started offering him to go in with me: He refused to order and didn't ask for anything but carried on his 'crazy' talk.... which having worked in a mental hospital I was already accustomed to. He would let me buy him a cup of coffee.... and when I ordered he would stop for me to say the blessing. I think I may have tried ordering a thing or two off the menu which he refused to eat. At the resturant across the street, it was the same. He would sit alone and shiver.... I had no coat...... but management was okay with him coming inside where it was warm as long as they weren't too busy.... ( I'm guessing he wouldn't order). So a time or two, I even got him coffee there and allowed him to sit with me. But he was not pesty asking me for money: He looked like a person who was very sick in the head and isolated by his afliction, but seeking someone who cared enough to give him a little time with them and this I did. I guess what I'm saying ....... you have to trust God and the instincts he gives you.

    The very first question which came to my mind when you mentioned you offered to buy food or take him to a food kitchen... but he turned you down...... was "Well why are you asking me for money?" (Several things here regarding vunerablity.... an offer to 'buy food' suggest that you do have money..... which if this person is a thief he may want to steal or see how much..... or the offer to take him to a shelter or food kitchen places him inside a vehicle which he could steal or harm you once inside.) The answer to that one question may give you a spring board to determine what next to do. Also, inquiring of management at the post-office or the grocery store may bring this person to their attention so that they are more watchful of him and his behavior around other customers. They may even know something about his situation which may guide you as to whether or not you're a person who could help him.

    Sometimes it is easy to want to be available to help someone.... thinking this is showing the love of God.... that we make mistakes..... Or that we are so aggravated over some occurrance in our day that we brush off an opportunity briskly and with anger. The latter happen to me one day: Maybe I wasn't feeling well or maybe something else had disappointed me...... but for whatever reason.... I was in a terribly nasty mood.... and a person came up to my car asking for money. In stead of politely and firmly telling her 'no' or inquiring of her need... I angrily told her no, said I had little for myself (which was true by my standards at that moment.... but not necessarily by what God sees) and flat out told this person to go away and leave me alone! I sat there, waiting for a person who was riding with me to finish his business inside: I felt miserable. I remembered a little bit of money I still had with me and that it was too little to amount to much.... much to little for the angry words and ugly attituded I'd displayed over a person whom I did not know to judge their worthiness or not.... but to know that Jesus died to save whosoever might believe... and I had not presented myself in any fashion, or form as a model of my Savior. Feeling the weight of my own deportment, and after asking God to forgive me, I drove around that parking lot until I found that person and shared what I had with her and told her I was giving her this in the name of Jesus, who is my savior and wants to be her savior, who had rebuked me for my anger and for which I was also asking her forgiveness.... and then expressed that I did not know why the money was needed or how she planned to use it.... but I believed that if she needed it then it was now her responsibility to God as to what purpose. .......I've tried to be more in control of my own presentation asking and depending upon the Lord's help ever since this 'spanking' of sorts.

    In truth, there may be opportunities which are really that..... and there may be unnecessary impositions which serve no useful purpose: We cannot always know which is which. I have to remind myself.... I am not my own. I was bought with a price. I am an ambassador for Christ.... which calling does not change even when I present myself otherwise. Oh, there is so much yet for me to learn to crucify this flesh until others see Jesus in me!
     

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