"The Coffee Shop"

Well I don't look much like my picture by my name. I'm thinner and my hair is shorter like the photo below from February.

Now Blackbird! I was born in Pritchard, Alabama (Mobile) and moved to Satsuma when I was 11. We lived there until Brookey Air Force Base closed and then we moved to Georgia. I lived there til I married. That's why I've got those ugly relatives we've discussed before. They're all still in Eight Mile, Ala.

Yep.... I'm gonna come and sit on your front pew some day and shout Amen a bunch of times! You'll know it's me by my toothy smile!

 

Laurenda--that's gettin' too dad-gum spooky! Where you found my name--I suppose it comes complete with Social Security numbers and everthing, right??!!!!!!---I have a deacon workin' on our web page--not sure of the address myself but I will work on a picture--I'm from the old school and will give it the best shot I can to upgrade the system--I hope that deacon don't put nothin' on that site that'll embarrass poor ole Blackbird--I want him to post my sermons--but I bet he won't do it until I beg him to!

Post my web page addressso I can check it out, will ya??!

Sherrie--No worries, dear! I remember when I was in college there was this girl who use to sit next to me in Anatomy class--she was in nursin' school--I was in Physical Education--anyway, we'd clown around in class(thanks to her I had to go through that class twice!!)--we'd chit chat and stuff--well, out of the blue one day she says, "Lets go to the Dairy Queen and get some coffee and we can talk there!!"

Well, Ole Blackbird is gullable(and also interested!) so we go to the DQ--get the picture now--I ain't "messin' around" with nobody--gonna save my purity for marriage---anyway, this girl is extremely attractive--I ain't believin' she'd be there with me--ought to have been somebody else--now, stay with me--

She starts in with this sob story--she had been married but her husband had been killed in a car crash--she doesn't have any children--it had been 3 years since the wreck--and she was interested in going out--sooooooo----

Stay with me--the followin' Sunday I'm at church--the Music/Youth Director's wife(who is also in nursin' school) sees me in the foyer of the church--she motions for me to come over--she has something she wants to tell me!!

Her--"Have you been talkin' to Karen?"(I have since forgotten her real name--but this was a real, real event in Blackbird's long tenure as a human being!!)
Me--"Karen who?"
Her--"Don't play stupid, David! Tell me, have you?"
Me--"Yeh, I have!"
Her--"She wants you to go out with her?? Doesn't she??"
Me--"Matter of factly, yea!"
Her--"OH, NO!! David! She's married! She told you her husband died in a car wreck--didn't she??"

I'm startin' to get the message! It didn't take Blackbird long to put the jigsaw puzzle together!

Her--"She's messin' around on her husband! That's what she's tellin' all the men she meets! Its her pick up line! David, her husband will kill you!!"

Lookin' back at it now--I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for Godly women who helped me to see the Godly truth---saved me from a potential bullet!!

To make a long story long--ole Blackbird has been caught in the same predickament that a lot of folks get caught in--I just "brushed it off" and moved on--I never saw that lady again--thank the Lord Jesus!

Sister, I guess what Ole Blackbird is sayin' is this--in your position as a single again widow--just stay "fervently in love" with the Lord Jesus Christ--and He will direct your path--He'll see you through--you get to a lonely spot in your life--you still have the Lord Jesus Christ--you still have your children! You still have those Grandkids and you still have your board buddys!! God bless your heart, Sister!

Now, rsr and Ninety--nine!! I wear a 17 in the neck, actually! And remember!! Every Sunday I go "bear huntin' with a switch!!" You'll have to take that into consideration!!

Diane---what hair I have left at 43 years of age--is quickly, quickly turnin' gray---too many Southern Baptist "Showdown's"--I've lost quiet a few of those, too!!

Your Southern Baptist preachin', bullet dodgin' buddy!

Blackbird

 

I haven't read it, but I'm on my way there now


Edited to include:

I just returned. I had a good laugh about that.
Honestly I had not read it.

 

editted post because it insighted unnecessary paranoia.

[ April 11, 2003, 11:25 PM: Message edited by: Wisdom Seeker ]

 

Didn't that become a Coast Guard base after the Air Force left?

BTW, that is a lovely picture of you--"Miss Diane"

 

17 in the neck, you say.......Well, just remember, you shrink as you get older,,,,,,,hence all the wrinkles.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Now!! Get this!! My wife and little girl are gone for the weekend--they went to a GA Mother/Daughter Campout at one of Mississippi Baptists campsites--

My boy and I are here by ourselves--he's in there watchin' a documentary on Pearl Harbor(he's 8 years old, can hit a baseball like Mark McGware--and has his heart set on flyin' an F-18 Hornet when he gets out of school)--anyway--

With my wife gone--I am free to choose what I want to eat! Right??? You guessed it!! A big ole plate of ribs I found in the freezer--and a big ole plate of French Fries--I don't get to eat that way when my wife is here!!

Laurenda---don't worry, Sister! Oftentimes when I post something on the board that runs contridictory to religions like Islam and the Nazi skinheads--I always get peranoid and get to thinkin'--"My Lord! My town is listed there below my post--everybody in Wesson knows me and knows where I live---I don't have enough "firepower" in my gun(there I go again! Everytime I say or type the word "gun" it makes me want to go out and buy a brand new one!!) cabinet to stay up with 'um. Besides, what's a .30-30 Winchester up against a rocket-propelled grenade?? Did I tell you guys I type a lot when I get nervous?? Well, at least my "trigger finger" ain't pressin' down on some homemade detenator!! And it'll be another 15 years before the Navy lets my boy "fly lead" in that F-18--if I can only hold out till then!!

Keep talkin'--

Blackbird

 

Sherrie, thanks for helping me fix the posting error on the Praise & Inspiration Forum. I can't believe I did that.

 

I know who it is...I can read.

 

Ok! Ok! I'm gonna take a gamble! Ice tea it is!! But its 10: 15pm CDT--does anyone on the board know what happens when one drinks a big ole glass of ice tea this close to bed time??

Lipton or Community? Tetley or the Winn-Dixie brand?? Ok, my wife ain't here!! Some of you more spiritual ladies help me out here!!

Your Southern Baptist preachin', ice tea sippin' buddy!

Blackbird

 

Laurenda--

My neighbors know my every move--the one on my left hand side can be here in about 15.7 seconds if I need him in an emergency!

The neighbor right behind me--she "claims" she is blind and can't see beyond the reach of her hand--but when I visit she'll comment--"Brother Crowe! You've got some mighty fine blooms on those tomatos yonder!!"---and I promise ya! Its about 250 yards(give or take an inch) from her porch to my patch!! She's got better "shootin'" eyes than Ellie Mae Clampet!! She's the one I'd worry about if I were spyin' on me!

My wife and I have our neighbors over quiet frequently--our favorite is to churn up some Butterfinger ice cream--I'd just as soon churn up a freezer full of ice cream in the dead of winter as to do anything else--makes no difference to me!! If you and Mister Laurenda were neighbors--ya'll could come over any time ya'll want--I can't show ya'll the key to my gun cabinet--its just an unwise thing to do!!

I am nervous tonite--like somebody is peepin' over my shoulder!! My social Security number is . . . !

Your Southern Baptist preachin', ice cream churnin' buddy!

Blackbird