The Doctrine of Forgiveness

I am about to read a book on thus subject by Dr. Erwin Lutzer. I have read other books and heard other sermons by others. However it seems as if the consensus among many is that while they can forgive someone, they usually will not forget the damage done to them, and will hold it against the person. There is a sense in looking at David and seeing that his sin had consequences. However when I look at Joseph I see that he completely forgave his brothers and the relationship was fully reconciled. People will take what they want out of the Bible and avoid the other passages that speak of reconciliation.

For example I know of someone whom had a bad relationship with a woman some years ago. There was NO ABUSE and No assault, and no police. He never committed a crime, and her perception of him was all in her head. She falsely accused him of things that he did not do, etc… The police would never have done anything to him as he did nothing wrong!! This girl just thought he was a monster because he liked her. She was very paranoid. Well word has it that she has forgotten it and has given it to God and forgives him. However she refuse to shake his hand or have anything to do with him. Yet at the same time claims to forgive him.

He does not desire to be her boyfriend, but he did want to shake her hand and come to peace. But she refuses. As he committed no crime and per perception of him was all in her head, I would say she has not forgiven him, contrary to her claims. What do you say?


John

 

What about consequences for sin? Does that mean we can never be a friend of our offenders?