The Future of this Christian

If he gets a stable job now and puts off his dreams for a couple of years, you can become financially stable. It is called being responsible.

Yes, but I did it while I was single. Your kids are older now and it won't be too long before they are gone. The dream has waited this long, what is another 10 years?

No, there's nothing wrong with it as long as he is still able to support his family in the mean time. By the way, you migh want to look into substitute teaching. It pays about $100 per day in some districts.

I never said that blue collar workers are not important. Things would not get done without them. The problem is supporting an existing family vs. achieving a dream. For a married man with children, supporting the family must over ride the dream.

 

What a beautiful family! I love kids! Those boys are gorgeous!

Diane

 

Laurenda, locally, most girls are married quite young. I posted on a thread a few weeks ago about the numbers of teen pregnancies between 12- 17. I THINK it was 47% of the 1,000 girls in that age range.... This was quite a backwards type community until about 5-6 years ago. There are a large number of families with mental retardation from intermarriage. Not being ugly... just the truth. Several of those families attend our church and they're very sweet people. Also, when we moved here, the average educational level was some high school with no diploma.

Diane

 

Was that supposed to be 47 out of a 1000 which is 4.7% or actually 47%?

 

47%!!! Isn't that AWFUL! It was in our local paper that comes out once a week. We're also pretty high in the country for divorce, spouse abuse, drug use but our test scores at the local schools are terrible.

Diane

 

Here's an article but I can't find that other info for exact numbers.
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About half of the quarter million females age 15 to 19 in Georgia are believed to be sexually active and therefore exposed to the risk of becoming pregnant. Almost five thousand of the 241,500 girls age 10-14 are estimated to be sexually active.

Among sexually active teens, only one in three usually uses contraception; one in four never does.

Diane

 

I've never heard of any school where you could expect half the girls in any given class to become pregnant by the age of 17.

 

I'm sorry. I was under the impression that your husband was out of work.

That is no excuse.

You'd think he'd learn after the first.

I think getting pregnant once should have raised red flags that something else should be done. If not after the first, certainly after the second.

I did not know about that requirement.

 

Is there a problem with working mothers here? Kelly, I don't know you at all, but I support you 100%! My former husband literally threw me and my 3 children out in the street. We were homeless, living in my minivan. I worked full time, went to school full time. Thank You God that my mom was able to help at the time. I now have a fantastic job, am remarried, BUT...for 2 years I wasn't much of a "hands on" mom...and you know what? My children, who are older now, are quite proud of what I accomplished. They knew that it was NOT for me, it was for THEM...to give them things that they could not otherwise have...like a home! There are those who denigrate working moms, BUT...I believe that those who CHOOSE to do difficult things to help support their families are AWESOME!
May God bless and keep you safe!
B. S.

 

Bad things happen when people decide to go against God's commands.

Did you take your former husband to court? You should have been able to get quite alot of support out of him.

In any case, in your case it couldn't be helped. It appears to me that all Kelly has to do is unload a house.

 

I didn't have sex when I was 16. You decided to get yourself into a relationship with a guy who did.

Before I answer the question of who paid for my college, I'd like to know what bearing it has on this discussion.

Ok, follow me this time. SHE GOT PREGNANT. SOMETHING WAS GOING WRONG. HE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN OTHER STEPS AFTER THE FIRST ONE.

So his plan was to continue using hormone therapy that she already told him didn't work on her?

 

Yes, I understand that he was young and stupid. That does not mean he did not get himself into that mess. It appears that you are aware of the fact that you have gotten yourself into this mess too.

As far as college goes, as I said earlier, I don't make that much money. College isn't a guaranteed ticket to easy street. I'd venture to say that your husband makes more money than I do. He made comparable money in LA and left to make more in California.


As far as paying for your kids' education, they can always take out student loans that you can pay for once they are out of the house. As a matter of fact, the lower income kids have better a better chance at scholarships.

In any case, being a stay at home mom was never your intention, so best of luck.

 

Until the kids leave (hopefully at 18), they will be at home. When they get out of school they could be at home.

From what I see, when both parents work by the time they get home they are both tired. Neither of them really wants to deal with the kids, they've been working all day. Most of their energy is spent on the job, leaving very little for the family for a majority of the week.

Yes, your kids will be under the supervision of educated people, but they are not parents. Your kids will not get the personal attention and love that you would give them.

Believe me, I understand trying to make ends meet when there isn't really enough. I haven't gotten to the place when my bills were not current, but I have had to go to the credit card to buy food.

One more thing, just because your kids won't be in daycare as long as other kids doesn't mean they won't be in daycare. To me this is sort of like an alcoholic who claims that he is not an alcoholic because he only drinks a 12 pack every day while all his buddies down a case.

I consider a kid with emotional problems a mess too.

 

Kelly, just a few thoughts.

Have you tried renting out the house that you haven't been able to sell? Sometimes renters become buyers.

Has your husband considered working an hour more each day and a couple of hours on Saturday? Those few hours could make a big difference in his take home pay.

Owing a business doesn't necessarily mean more money. I have several clients, including a couple of plumbing companies, that pay their employees more that the owners can pay themselves.

Is your husband in a union job? If so, why no insurance? In my experience it is unusual for a trades type company, union or not, to not offer at least some level of medical insurance.

I reserve judgement on your choices, but I will admit that they are not what I would want for myself - especially the vegan diet!