The List That Saved My Marriage

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Revmitchell, Aug 12, 2008.

  1. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell
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    The day had come. I'd lasted as long as I could in my marriage. Once my husband, Bill, left for work, I packed a bag for myself and our 14-month-old son and left our home. It was the only year in our married life when we lived in the same town as my parents. Obviously the convenience of being able to run to Mom and Dad made my decision to leave Bill easier........


    More Here


    Do not get caught up in who was right or wrong the husband or the wife. Just read the article and apply it to everyone.
     
  2. Benjamin

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    Very cool article! A good reminder to humbly look at ourselves. Thanks.
     
  3. Timsings

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    Thanks, Rev. Everyone should have a mother like that.

    Tim Reynolds
     
  4. Revmitchell

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    As well as a spouse that is willing to do that inventory whether it be the husband or the wife.
     
  5. A2J

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    Unfortunately, too many mothers would encourage their daughter (or son, for that matter) to leave "the lout" behind.
     
  6. Goldie

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    This can be summed up in one word : Obedience

    Jesus teaching on marriage:

    Mark 10:7-9 - For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

    Malachi 2:16 - For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away

    "putting away" is the Old Testament phrase for divorce, proof that God hates divorce.
     
    #6 Goldie, Aug 13, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2008
  7. stilllearning

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    The world’s advice is......
    “This is the only life you have, so you shouldn’t waist it in a relationship that doesn’t please you.”

    But the fact is, this is not the only life we have.
    (We need to be keeping an eye on eternity!)

    Doing the right things in this life, will be rewarded in the next life!

    We have God’s Word on it.
     
  8. Beth

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    Very good

    Very good lesson.
     
  9. superwoman8977

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    Good article, but I am living proof that sometimes we just arent given that opportunity in our marriages. I prayed over my marriage stood on my vows for 7 years and its still over and the same day our divorce was final he went and married her. Thats a very hard thing to live with knowing he married her the day your divorce was final and I have been beating myself up over it for over 2 months now. I keep asking myself--what could I have changed? And the answer is nothing--He had free will. I did what I could do with Christ at the center.
     
  10. North Carolina Tentmaker

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    I have been praying for you superwoman, as I know others on this board are.

    You know the world would look at your situation and say, "you wasted all those years," but answer me this. Is there not some comfort to you in the fact that you did all you could, obeyed your vows and kept up your half of the marriage. Yes your marriage ended and that is a tragedy, but how much more tragic would it be if you knew you had not given it your best?
     
  11. LeBuick

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    Great article, it was like holding up a mirror...
     
  12. Born_in_Crewe

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    God hates divorced people, and he also hates married and single people, but not as much as he hates gay people. In fact he hates you all, especially those who worship Mr. Peanut, whose God is the great Goober.

    Yours in hate,
    Pastor Fred Phelps

    :tonofbricks:
     
  13. Revmitchell

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    What is this derail about?
     
  14. Benjamin

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    Lost me. I was thinking about asking him if he was okay. :confused:
     
  15. Revmitchell

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    maybe it is a Chesire English thing. :laugh:
     
  16. Pipedude

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    ... or a self-destructive urge to get banned.

    I have to second Goldie's observation that this is a matter of obedience. Not every Christian has a wise mother or an old copy of Christianity Today where he can read this article; but if he knows what Jesus said, he can obey it even if he wants to do something else.

    I might be wrong, but I seem to detect these days a great shift in Christian ethics, where Christians obey when they can justify it with science, psychology, economics, et al., but they just "reinterpret" the Scriptures when the aforementioned disciplines (or the current culture) dictate otherwise.

    I am thankful for the good advice this mother gave her daughter and I hope to benefit from it in my own marriage, and to share it with others when possible. It makes obedience easier. But obedience is required whether it's easy or not.
     
  17. LeBuick

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    What if she divorces me against my consent?

    I don't plan on her leaving me but I believe that's why Jesus said, "...and marries again".

    Mt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery

    He also seems to have added an exclusionary statement "except it be for fornication".
     
  18. Pipedude

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    In the OP, the subject was leaving her spouse because he annoyed her. That would have been disobedience, and that was the topic of my post.

    Your question asks about a different state of affairs, and I think there already has been a thread on that topic sometime recently.
     
  19. superwoman8977

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    The world is saying that to me. I have had several friends tell me that over the last few months. I am amazed that with God's help I put up with everything as long as I did but now with him turning his back on everyone including the boys thats more financial heartache and stress I dont need in my life (he hasnt paid child support or saw the boys since the divorce is final and it is rumored he married the woman he cheated on me with the day his divorce to me was final which is an even bigger pill to swallow for me and the boys.) I know there still are alot of nights I say God where are you in all of this? I know there are so many that say that divorce is wrong but like my parents pointed out to me this weekend --whats worse? Living life unhappy and treated like a doormat or now having the freedom to get out there and enjoy life as you can (I think they are meaning dating again) which somedays I want to do and other days I dont. I have learned alot from the 1st time and if it would happen again there will be no joint anything and that I am not going to have another man treat me like a doormat or make me be beneath him. I am far too strong and independent for that. I have read and re read this article and see so many red flags with this "couple" as well.
     
  20. North Carolina Tentmaker

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    I have shared my beliefs on divorce on several threads, but since that is what we are talking about here I will say it again. I believe my position is Biblical although it is too conservative for some and too liberal for others. In response to LeBuick:
    The Bible is clear on this issue and it is dealt with specifically in I Cor 7, verse 15 says:
    I believe this is applicable in lots of cases even when the spouse professes to know Christ but does not live or act like it. I believe this would apply in Superwoman’s case (at least from what I know of it). If you did all you could, if you kept your vows, tried to reconcile, tried to stay in the marriage, and your spouse leaves you anyway, then you are not under bondage, you are free. I believe that includes freedom to remarry if you so choose. The bible says you are not under bondage and I believe the Bible.


    Now, in response to the rest of LeBuick’s post of:
    I think you are on the right track brother that you recognize the statement “except it be for fornication” is an exclusionary statement. But you have to read it in context of the rest of Matthew 19. Jesus is not saying, IMHO, that it is ok to divorce if your spouse commits adultery, he is very clear that divorce is never his will. What he is saying is that in cases of adultery you are not committing it through the act of divorce because it has already been committed. Mark 10:11-12 contains no such statement.
    So to summarize, I believe, and I believe that scripture says:

    1. Divorce is always wrong, always sin, stay in the marriage if you can. I don’t really care if you are happy or not, you do not have the right to be happy. You made a promise to stay with your spouse you need to honor your word. You gave your word to each other and made vows before almighty God. What is your word worth? Now if there is danger to your health and safety or danger to your children that goes way beyond your happiness, leave, run, you did all you could.

    2. Once divorce has happened you have to move on. Repent, mourn, change, seek forgiveness, but now you are no longer in bondage and are free. Free to seek happiness in your life and free to seek another marriage partner.

    Superwoman, I mean none of this as any kind of attack on you. We have all read what you have posted of your story and you are in my prayers as you move forward with your life. As far as child support. He owes it, get a lawyer and go get it. The only down side is that with child support often come visitation rights. You can use unpaid child support to restrict visitation.
     

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