The Pastor and His Flock?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by righteousdude2, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    I see that my initial thread has brought about some healthy conversation and debate on the subject of what a pastor is expected to do.

    I feel like I should better explain why I started this conversation a few weeks ago! I apologize if my criticism hurt or offended any active, fulltime pastors or their spouses! That was not my intention! :thumbs:

    I mentioned that my pastor had never been over to our home, or met us for coffee or dinner, when invited, and I felt that this was reflective of younger pastors, today! JUst an opinion, and I see that isn't necessarily true! :flower:

    Let me explain that I said this out of frustration, because after 14 years of attendance, I have yet to see my pastor, associate pastor or deacon in the roles above.

    It took my being in ICU for eight days to get a visit and handshake outside of the brick and mortar of the building we call our church!

    That seems appalling as far as I am concerned, and it is unacceptable! When a member, who gives of time, money and talent to the church can't get the pastor to visit for something other than knocking at heaven's door, I see a pattern and a problem!

    BTW - I have had visits from a lot of pastors and their spouses in the past 14 years, and those visits were from friends and colleagues in the ministry. We go to each other's homes regularly.

    I have gone out of my way to be socially open to him and his wife, yet he has spurned those invites. And it isn't my family that feels this way. He has lost some very dedicated folks due to his isolation approach to leading his flock, and that my friend seems inappropriate!

    I am not expecting him to visit on a yearly basis; it would just be great to have had him visit us at least once in 14 years! Pastors today, seem to be more interested in attending professional ball games, playing outfield on the church softball team, going to the beach with the youth [even though we have a full time youth pastor] and knocking on doors in the community and inviting those strangers to church; while ignoring the people sitting in the pews and helping him to do the work he realistically isn't and wasn't hired or capable of doing!

    If this is a bad attitude, I am sorry! :praying: Even so, hey, I've been to his house for Men's Bible studies, etc. It would just be nice to have him come to mine, just once in the 14 years we've beent there!

    I no longer care if he comes to visit, as I see it as his problem! Will it cause me to leave? Not a chance! Will it cause others to leave? It has, and it still is, and that is the problem as I run into people throughout the community that once attended the church and when you ask why they left, they explain that they felt like a third wheel, and not appreciated. One man drove the Sunday School bus for 20 years, and played bass in the band for that time period. He and his wife taught Sunday school and did janitorial work, and they felt snubbed when they'd invite him to come by and visit and get a blank stare.

    What makes them feel even worse is that he made no attempt to see why they were leaving, or talk to them about their feelings. I think he knew, and didn't want to face the reality of hearing the truth!

    I simply wanted to see if anyone else was experiencing this with their pastors. I didn't mean to sound unappreciative of my pastor, because he is a great preacher; loves the Lord more than any man I've ever known; and he's a great family man!

    It's just that I sense he lacks in the personal skills gift, and that seems to be true with more pastors today, then ever before!

    Thanks for listening....as all of you have helped me to see and hear many different views. All of those views have been enlightening, and I appreciate your interest and input. Nothing said has gone without careful consideration and gratefulness. Shalom!
     
    #1 righteousdude2, Sep 9, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2013
  2. USN2Pulpit

    USN2Pulpit
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    I'll give you a pastor's point of view if you're willing to hear it. I am willing to visit anyone, but my whole flock is so busy with the things you are talking about young pastors doing that I seldom - if ever - get invited anywhere. When I do get invited, I try to make a point of going.

    On the other hand - and please see the humanity in what I'm about to say without attacking me for it - most of the time a pastor knows when someone doesn't think much of him or is critical of him. And even though an invite may come, he may be uncomfortable with the situation. (Should he be? Of course not, but pastors are flesh and bone like everyone else.)

    Please understand that I'm not accusing you along these lines - just openly giving you a little part of what I've experienced. When a pastor already feels deficient, and also knows that someone is critical of him, in his humanity he feels "why should I expose myself to more?"

    This is something I have battled with from time to time - getting around to see everyone - and I know I haven't gotten it all done. Please understand how incapable and deficient I have felt - and many other pastors have felt along the lines you have been discussing.
     
  3. North Carolina Tentmaker

    North Carolina Tentmaker
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    There is a very simple solution to the problem of differing expectations, a written job description.

    My unique ministry has allowed me as an interim pastor to help several churches select new pastors. The first time I asked a church for a statement of faith and got blank stares I was shocked, now I know that even if they have one, the members may not know about it.

    The first thing I do in any church I try to help is make sure they have a current statement of faith and that it reflects what they believe. Then the second thing we do is write up a job description for their pastor. What education do they expect? Do they expect him to be a full time pastor or bivocational? How many hours a week do they expect him to spend visiting, having office hours, etc.? And of course, how much are they willing to pay? Only then can we start the search process.

    You lay these things out in black and white and everyone understands the expectations. Then both the pastor and the congregation know what to expect. It's really not that hard.

    Older church members may expect more visitation time. Younger members might put more value on education. There are no wrong answers, just different priorities. You work these out as a congregation and then there should be no surprises. Perhaps you won't all agree, but at least you will know.
     
  4. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    This is not a problem...

    ....I hear you, and can assure you, I have discussed my feeling with Pastor. We get along great, and he is always asking me to take the lead in many things! There is no bad feelings between us, I just would like him to be more social minded, and I've not said a thing here that I haven't said to his face! We've prayed, and I do not sense any bad vibes.

    You have a good point though, and you presented it tactfully! Gracias, Padre!
     
  5. USN2Pulpit

    USN2Pulpit
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    Thanks for your gracious response. I was concerned about my post and how I presented my experience so openly.
     

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