The reason youth are leaving our churches

Yeah, let's corral all of our pre-schoolers together and pull out Grudem's Systematic Theology for an hour, or march through the book of Romans...I'm sure that is the answer. Ironic, the "world" doesn't even take this approach in teaching children secular things. I don't recall learning algebra in kindergarten...

 

Webdog, thanks for the nice welcome to this board (sarcasm intended). Is children's church in your church just for preschoolers? Is that all you have coming? Come on, give me a break. Yes, I have worked with youth & seen the Lord work in His usual, wonderful way. Now I am a pastor & desire to still see the Lord work among our youth in His usual, wonderful way. My point is that our children's churches (let's say 8-12 year olds to make webdog happy) have become more about play & less about preaching the Gospel. Children can understand (and memorize) more than we give them credit for (hence the saying, "It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks"). Give them a wonderful, fun time but balance it with the proclamation of the Gospel - that's my point.

 

I did not get the idea that was what their post was saying. The point was that we should not let games, crafts, snacks, etc become the focal point of our childrens ministries. Regardless of age it is very possible to engage kids with the gospel of Jesus and that should be what is the focal point of the childrens program. That was what I got from his post.

 

And that was what was intended. Thank you! :thumbsup:

 

I’ve heard a lot of this concept of “masking” or “hiding” the gospel to look “cool.” Could you possibly give some real life examples of this? And how the gospel is being hidden? Not saying it’s not happening---just curious to know some exact methods you have problems with. Thank you

 

I jumped the gun and I aplogize. I was basing your post on what we do where we incorporate snack, crafts, games, etc INTO the lesson plan...and "children's church" is too broad a term in our area stemming from pre-school to 6th grade. I took your post as we should not be doing any of this.

 

That's great!

 

Apology accepted. Thanks! I think it's great to incorporate that stuff into the lesson plan. I used games to go along with what was being taught at times as well. I never was too good with crafts though...lol.

 

If you've heard a lot about it, then you should be able to tell me. :thumbsup:Again, my point is we can overemphasize the games, etc. & that because of worrying that the teenagers will not think we are "cool" or in worrying that they will be offended or bored we do not tackle the fundamental doctrines of our faith. Some tend to talk more about dating & relationships & jobs & college, etc. (none of which are wrong) more than we talk about the Gospel. We should talk of these things in relation to the Gospel. Everything we do must be about the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

 

Yea LOl, you get indoctrinated fairly quickly around here. Welcome (less the kick in the groin) :laugh:

 

I completely agree with you on this. It seems that (based on what I have seen) the trend is to entertain kids. I don't think that childrens church is the time for systematic theology (don't really think that was what you were saying but just wanting to clear that up for others) but even 5 year olds can be given more than a 5 minute tidbit of Bible. I work with the youth in our church and ironically enough it was not until I started engaging them at a deeper level that they started having any kind of commitment to coming to church. The trend in some of the churchs here is to entertain the youth and when I tried to match that I had little success keeping the kids coming and when they did there was no interest on their part. Some one here mentioned that the majority of the kids they are working with come from unchurched families and that describes the kids at our church to a t. Parents don't come, they come of their own volition. I found that when the Bible was the focal point of the class time and Jesus was lifted up then the kids started coming on a regular basis and they started paying attention and listening (I know who would have imagined, do things Gods way and it works). We would be livid, and rightfully so if a pastor were dumbing down the gospel to the adult congregation, yet that is exactly what many do with the kids and youth. Then we wonder why Bible knowledge and commitment to the things of God seems to be on the decline. Kids and youth are not adults so we do need to deal with them differently. Icebreakers and games work great to get things going. In our youth group we divide the class time up and we spend 15 minutes in games, 15 minutes reviewing the lesson from the last week and about 30ish minutes in Bible study. In the last year we have seen 6 saved and I don't even have enough time to talk about the life changes that are starting to be evident (some very dramatic). If it sounds like I am bragging I absolutely am, just not on myself. In the first year I worked with the youth "I" was bringing in 1 on Sunday morning and about 5 on Wednesday night. Since we shifted emphasis (about a year ago) and made the Bible our focus and stopped worrying about being "cool" "God" has brought in 10-12 on Sunday mornings and 15-20+ on Wednesday nights. We need to lift up Jesus and not entertainment. That is when kids will stay in church. They can find entertainment anywhere and they don't even have to get up early on a Sunday morning to find it. Church needs to be a place where they are introduced to Jesus.

 

Lol- well actually no one has specifically named anything-- they just lump together the idea of looking cool, games, crafts, & having fun--& put it in the “bad” category! Now I’ll admit if a teacher is not using these techniques to somehow teach about the Bible—then it’s a waste of time—But these techniques in themselves are not bad (if used properly). They are what is known in the field of education as alternative learning methods & can be very valuable. The fact is-- all children, pre-teens, & teens do not learn by lectures. When Sunday schools & youth pastors incorporate other methods they are actually trying to reach all individuals—b/c all individuals learn differently. One teen might learn by drawing a picture of the crucifixion or acting it out in a play (arts/hands on learning), one might learn by watching a movie on it (a visual learner), another by hearing it read & explained to them (audio learner), another by personally reading about it, ect. Now I agree that the whole lesson must be biblically based & Christ-centered & some churches might not be doing this—but to throw the baby out with the bath water on this issue—could really cost a child/teen the genuine opportunity they need to learn about Christ. Now the original question was—why are youth leaving the church—when the real question should be—why are people of all ages making a mass exodus from the church—b/c this phenomena is not limited to youth.

 

You are absolutely right. We can have the perfect program, the best teaching available and all of it is nothing if the kids don't believe that you actually love them and care about what happens in their lives. More than that they have to know that you don't just care about them but that you care about their families as well. You will not get anywhere with kids (especially older kids and youth) if you have no concern for their families. I have seen kids come from the absolute worst home life and they are fiercely loyal to their parents and if they even think that you do not care for their parents, there goes your chance to minister to that kid and that family.

 

I think that you make a good point. There are many different types of learning styles. What is best for one may not be best for another. My question then becomes, how do we successfully teach a class that has 15-20 kids (or adults) all with different learning styles? Time alone will not allow us to incorporate multiple teaching techniques into our class time. My thought on this is that this is where personal relationships between the teacher and the class or the pastor and the church are vital. the bottom line is that during our "official" class time or church time we have so very little time available, but if we are taking the time outside of church or youth group to interact one on one with the kids or the people then we can incorporate that works best for that particular person. I really think that alot of the times we as teachers, youth workers, or even pastors can fall into the trap of thinking that we "teach" on Sundays and midweek service (if the church has one). When in reality we need to be teaching constantly and most of the time our real ministry is outside the church walls and in the real world. That is where relationships are built and Gods work is done.

 

There are a lot of folks who love get on the "they play too much" argument. "The kids aren't here to have fun. We didn't have fun when I was growing up in church" I've heard it from many different people at different churches. Sad thing is that these same people do nothing to help with children or youth ministry. They love point out what's wrong from the side line but refuse to get into the game. If they did, they might just change their tune. They will find its not so cut and dry as watching a video about why youth are leaving the church. If you don't work with youth and children, especially if you refuse too, then as far as I'm concerned you are nothing but a disgruntled fan yelling insults from the upper deck of the stadium.

 

Now I completely agree with you that time can be an issue. I work with kids who are predominantly from unchurched homes & whose parents don’t come to church—so the fact is if they are not enjoying it—they are not going to come at all. So what I try to do is balance fun time with biblical learning time. So I do a trade off with the kids—they give me 30 min of their time in learning the Bible & I’ll give them 30 min to have fun. Regardless I always spend 20-30 on the Bible lesson b/c this is the most important issue. But it is this time where various learning methods can be applied. The key is spending more than 1 week on the same lesson. For example—I start 1 week by preaching & teaching a verse by verse exegesis with the teens, then the next week I’ll do a quick review of the lesson then let the kids act it out in a play, draw it in a picture & explain what they’ve drawn, or watch a movie on the topic, ect. The key is making sure they get it & since the church is not on a lesson plan schedule like the school system—spending more than 1 week on a topic can be valuable.

 

amen!!!!!!!

 

I agree that there are people who critique from the sideline but who are not involved. When I was a youth pastor it always bugged me that the pastor would say things like, "I really need to get to know the names of our youth" (who came primarily on the church vans) but would never try. I determined when I went back into the pastorate to not let that be me. The pastor should be the pastor of everyone, not just the adults!

As far as "fun" is concerned, we had tons of it. We would do activities on Saturdays & games before & after youth service on Wednesdays & before & after service on Sunday nights. But when it came time to sit & learn the Word of God, most of the time, the teens did a wonderful job, because, as has already been stated by others, they knew that those of us who worked with them directly loved them. And let me say this - Praise God for people who don't get paid to work with the youth at church, but who wholeheartedly do so!

 

So basically you don’t have problems with the fun time youths need to enjoy youth group, but have a problem with those youth leaders who neglect the main emphases of biblical learning? If this is the case then I completely agree—it just seems like many believe that all youths need is straight up lectures & nothing else. I think me, you, ashlydad, & sag are all on the same page when it comes for the need of biblical focus---it just seems like some of us think its acceptable to accomplish this in an entertaining manner, while others don’t. Admittedly, some youth leaders are better equipped to teach by lectures & nothing else (and if this is the case then I think its perfectly acceptable to limit the lesson to this method), but those who do this-- should not discourage those who incorporate various learning methods—when the focus remains on the Bible. (please see my post #56 on this thread for why I feel this way)