The Things We Don't Deserve

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Guitar25, Sep 25, 2003.

  1. Guitar25

    Guitar25
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    The Things We Don't Deserve

    I'm so dirty, my heart is heavy
    I'm unworthy, why'd You save me
    My eyes are blinded, my body weak
    My tounge is twisted, I cannot speak

    I long, for transcendence in Your mercy
    My spirit, seeks You
    I bleed, with unforgiven sins
    My heart, longs for You

    These things we don't deserve
    Regardless, You gave them anyway
    The mercy that You gave me
    Is a mercy I can't gain
    I cannot describe this
    Cause words are not enough
    These things we don't deserve from You
    Your mercy, Your grace, Your love
    I long for You
     
  2. DanielFive

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    What did we do to deserve that.

    Just kidding, but don't give up the day job.
     
  3. Mike McK

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    Good job G25. Don't pay any attention to the negativity.
     
  4. Dr. Bob

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  5. JonathanDT

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    Harsh dude, just harsh.
     
  6. DanielFive

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    If G25 is determined to succeed he'll have to deal with harsher critics than me.

    As an artist I know from experience that criticism is not always easy to deal with. Granted, my criticism is hardly constructive but I'm no expert in songwriting so I'll leave that to some of the other writers around here.

    At the same time I don't have to be an expert to recognise that this work is substandard at best.

    As a Christian I personally feel that it would be wrong to say "well done"/"good job" etc , that wouldn't be honest, would it?

    Hopefully if people are honest G25 will recognise that he needs to take some lessons in songwriting, the last thing he needs is false praise that will leave him thinking he is something that he is not.
     
  7. John Gilmore

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    You're improving!
     
  8. Guitar25

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    If G25 is determined to succeed he'll have to deal with harsher critics than me.

    As an artist I know from experience that criticism is not always easy to deal with. Granted, my criticism is hardly constructive but I'm no expert in songwriting so I'll leave that to some of the other writers around here.

    At the same time I don't have to be an expert to recognise that this work is substandard at best.

    As a Christian I personally feel that it would be wrong to say "well done"/"good job" etc , that wouldn't be honest, would it?

    Hopefully if people are honest G25 will recognise that he needs to take some lessons in songwriting, the last thing he needs is false praise that will leave him thinking he is something that he is not.
    </font>[/QUOTE]Ok dude, you need to seriously lighten up. I don't need lessons, and if you were a real musician, you would know that you cant take songwriting lessons. Songs come from the heart and they cannot be taught. I have been writing music for over 2 years. I have had compliments from professional musicians, people i don't even and recording artists saying that they have never seen anyone who writes like me, and they like my music.

    But your opinion is your opinion. I'm not gonna thrash you, but you need to take into consideration that this is only lyrics. You have not even heard the music to this song. and like you said, you'r not an expert at juding lyrics. Its not suposed to be a poem, its a song saying flat out, that we dont deserve a single bit of gods mercy and his grace, but he gave it to us anyway, but your opinion is your own.


    and BTW, i will be posting lrics from some more of my songs later on in the future.
     
  9. Guitar25

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    Thanks, i think.
     
  10. Mike McK

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    I take it you haven't dealt with enda all that much? Encouragement isn't really one of his strong points.

    Actually you can. There are somgwriting organizations all over the country that have classes and workshops.

    I got to take one about two years ago with Jimmie Dale Gilmore.

    Everybody has their own writing style. Brian Wilson is drastically different from Lyle Lovett. Carole King is drastically different from Mac McAnally. Willis Allan Ramsey is drastically different from Harlan Howard.

    They're still all great songwriters.

    I liked your song but, in all honesty, there are some things that I would done differently (and, remember, that it's very hard to judge a song without hearing it with the music) but then it would be my song. You've got to do what you do, not what I do.

    I look forward to it.
     
  11. Guitar25

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    Thanks for the encouragement. i appreciate it, and no i haven't delt with Bro Enda that much at all. i have only been on this site sence teh end of july. but still, yeah its hard to tell without music. but when my CD is done i want to put the song on the net and put it on this site somewhere. but i dont know how. i will have to look into that later on.
     
  12. DanielFive

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    I'm not a musician, I'm an artist. You can be taught to express your feelings more clearly.

    My guess is that you must be a more accomplished musician than you are a songwriter. Don't feel you MUST do both. That's a mistake many artists make.

    I'm sure there must be accomplished songwriters out there who would benefit from working with someone who has the ability to write music.

    Feel free, but don't expect everyone to humour you.

    Mike says encouragement is not my strong point, he doesn't understand what I'm saying. I'm not discouraging you from trying to express your faith in music. I AM encouraging you to wait until you can DO IT WELL before you start releasing CDs.

    Thats the type of encouragement you need. You don't need people telling you this kind of writing is good, that'll just give you a false confidence and will lead to you being ridiculed and made to look foolish if you insist in going public with this standard of material.

    Don't let yourself down by adding bad lyrics to good music.
     
  13. Guitar25

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    I don't think that they are humoring me at all. When I label myself as a musician I mean that I am a Singer/Songwriter/Guitarist. Like I said before, your opinion is your opinion, but if you don't like it then keep it to yourself. Don't post here. The other people posting here like the song, and im gonna say it again, ITS ONLY LYRICS. To truly judge the song you need to hear it with music and words combined. I don't care if you don't like it. its your opinion. But my friends, my family and people on this site like it. And according to all them, they arent bad lyrics.
     
  14. Wedge Former

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    Hay G25 Its good. And to all of you that have posted If you are ture Christian you must think of what you say and how you say thing. You may Say some that may intern realy hurt a person(I don't mean Physically but mentally). Opinion are opinion but word can be a weapon for good or bad. Even thought the saying is "Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I realy think it should say "Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can REALLY HURT ME."

    I'm not tring to start any thing but you should allways think befor you speak or in this case Type.

    Wedge Former
     
  15. DanielFive

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    Oh right then, I can only post here if I'm going to tell you I like your lyrics. Do you want me to sacrifice honesty in order to encourage you?

    You'll need to develop a much thicker skin if you're going to go public with this stuff, sounds to me as if you can't handle honest criticism.

    You only seem interested in fishing for compliments and it's my guess that your little fan club here will soon grow weary of indulging you.

    And by the way I know it's only lryics but lyrics are a very important aspect of this kind of work. I'm already assuming that you are capable of producing music which is suitable for Christian ears. That's probably a wild assumption to make but I've given you the benefit of the doubt for the sake of seeing some progress in your lyrics.

    One last peace of advice, if you are serious about this you will never make any progress unless you take on board negative criticism, I could tell you that you're great until the cows come home but that wouldn't benefit you in the long run.

    As an artist, I've been where you are right now, and I'll tell you those who are patting you on the back are misguided in their attempts to encourage you, they are merely stifling progress.

    That's all I'll say for now, but I will be reading anything you post here, and will tell you what I think of it, wheather you want to take it on board or not is up to you.

    [ September 27, 2003, 08:24 AM: Message edited by: Bro Enda ]
     
  16. Mike McK

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    Lyrics are (obviously) a very important aspect of this kind of work but, in a song, the lyrics must be taken in the context of the music.

    The music can drastically change the setting, tone and meaning of the lyrics.

    [ September 27, 2003, 06:12 PM: Message edited by: Dr. Bob Griffin ]
     
  17. DanielFive

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    [ September 27, 2003, 06:14 PM: Message edited by: Dr. Bob Griffin ]
     
  18. Mike McK

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    [ September 27, 2003, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: Dr. Bob Griffin ]
     
  19. Guitar25

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    [ September 27, 2003, 06:08 PM: Message edited by: Dr. Bob Griffin ]
     
  20. Dr. Bob

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    Since this thread is worse than most for bitter name-calling and he-said-he-said, I am closing this. Sorry guitarman.
     

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