Things Men Say

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by kyredneck, Nov 24, 2009.

  1. kyredneck

    kyredneck
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    "IT'S A GUY THING"
    Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

    "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
    Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

    "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
    Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

    "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
    Means: "I have no idea how it works."

    "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
    Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

    "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
    Means: "Are you still talking?"

    "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
    Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

    "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
    Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

    "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
    Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

    "I CAN'T FIND IT."
    Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

    "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
    Means: "What did you catch me at?"

    "I HEARD YOU."
    Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

    "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
    Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

    "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
    Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

    "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
    Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

    "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK"
    Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
     
  2. Amy.G

    Amy.G
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    After being married for 32 years, I have heard every single one of those statements.........many times! :laugh:
     
  3. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
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    So very, very true!:laugh:
     
  4. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell
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    Ahh! More facebook material:thumbs:
     
  5. Salty

    Salty
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    You cant steal, I have already "borrowed" it
     

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