This is almost true

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by Salty, Oct 16, 2008.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    Subject: STOCK MARKET TERMS



    [FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif]NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

    CEO
    --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

    CFO
    -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

    BULL MARKET
    -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

    BEAR MARKET
    -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

    VALUE INVESTING
    -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

    P/E RATIO
    -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

    BROKER
    -- What my broker has made me.

    STANDARD & POOR
    -- Your life in a nutshell.

    STOCK SPLIT
    -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

    MARKET CORRECTION
    -- The day after you buy stocks.

    CASH FLOW
    -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

    YAHOO
    -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

    WINDOWS
    -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
    bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.


    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
    -- Past year investor! r who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

    PROFIT
    -- An archaic word no longer in use.
    [FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif]

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