TO GO or NOT TO GO to Church?

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by Mommyperson, Jan 8, 2005.

  1. Mommyperson

    Mommyperson
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    What are your thoughts on going to church?

    My husband was ill and physically unable climb up the stairway at the entrance of our church to attend any services. Instead, he prayed at home and watched religious sermons on TV. The pastor used to come to our home to pray with us and share the sermon for that day. He knew my husband couldn't get into the church to actively participate. Soon the church stopped coming and marked us off as non-attending. When my husband's health began to seriously decline and we needed help, a neighboring church came to help when our home church chose to do nothing.

    Would you stay with that church or seek another?

    Forgiveness is not an issue..forgiveness is always given as we are all human..
     
  2. rjprince

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    MP,

    You should keep going unless you are needed to stay at home because your husband was unable to go. That would have been a gentle reminder of your need. But, under the conditions I would suggest you find another that will love you and your child(ren). Sorry about your loss.

    I do not suggest changing churches lightly, I am the pastor of a small church and everytime we lose someone, our fault or not, it hurts deeply. But, if it is my fault, and there have been times it was, it hurts much deeper.
     
  3. Soulman

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    Not to make excuses but pastors sometimes get caught up in the day to day business of running the church. Counsiling etc.

    However, if he is too busy to make regular visits to shut ins he should designate a deacon or someone that will faithfully fill this need for visitation. The church is flat out wrong for ignoring the situation(if that is what is happening).

    Communications between you and your church need to remain strong. If you have been going to services and communicating your needs and nothing is happening, I would find a new church home as well. Exhaust all avenues first ant put it to prayer. Best wishes!!
     
  4. Plain Old Bill

    Plain Old Bill
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    Have you spoken to the pastor of your home church?
     
  5. Ben W

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    If the other church was your neighbour when you needed them while your first church turned away, go to it and enjoy it. Ultimatley they are still the same body of Christ.
     
  6. WallyGator

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    I suggest that you bring this matter to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to give you wisdom and discernment, which He says He will give liberally if we but ask. I"ll be praying for you.
     
  7. SaggyWoman

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    Some churches are handicapped accessible, meaning that attendance is not prohibited due to stairs being present.

    You may want to check out one of the churches that is more accessible.
     
  8. Mommyperson

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    I've spoken to many of the church members during and after. It doesn't seem to be of much importance to them. Perhaps it never was of much importance.

    I have been investigating other churches.
     
  9. Soulman

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    Posted by Mommyperson:perhaps it never was of much importance.

    I believe it was. My uncle was dying and it was like pulling teeth to get the pastor to visit him. My mom is in a nursing home and if I didn't ask from time to time she wouldn't get visited.

    I don't know why this is, but it is wrong. The phone works both ways but the pastor can make a call or visit once in a while.

    I don't blame you for being a little upset.
     
  10. av1611jim

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    Where are the deacons of this church?
    I have had similar experiences with other churches. IMO when a they get to busy to visit their own people, I would suggest that there are problems. If was never of much importance to continue to visit their own shut-ins then what does that say about their priorities?
    I would run, not walk, to a church that ministers to the needs of all their people. My home church has a specific ministry for our shut-ins. That is all they do. I admire that.
    It appears you have done all you can do.

    In HIS service;
    Jim
     
  11. Mommyperson

    Mommyperson
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    I appreciate you response to this issue.
    I wondered if I was being overly judgemental of the practiceswithin the church, not the church itself..

    Although I've been looking around for a new church to attend..I've found it's not an easy task.
    Thank you and God bless,
    Mommyperson
     
  12. don 3426

    don 3426
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    how big is that church cause that could be an important conteder
     
  13. Dr. Bob

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    YOu wrote: "When my husband's health began to seriously decline and we needed help, a neighboring church came to help when our home church chose to do nothing. Would you stay with that church or seek another?"

    1. Your church in not accessible for handicapped
    2. Your church did nothing to help when you were in need
    3. Another church did help

    With only that evidence, I would suggest considering a move to another church. Be very careful to examine more than just their charity; doctrine must always be the first priority.
     
  14. Mommyperson

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    The church has an average sized congregation consisting of a pastor, and assistant pastor, a youth director,6 deacons and many volunteers(perhaps 10)to assist in any given area of need.

    At least that was the count last time I attended.
     
  15. Mommyperson

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    You said it Dr. Bob.
    THAT is where it gets hairy when trying to find the right place.
     
  16. Plain Old Bill

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    Good luck and God Bless Mommyperson.Based on what you say it's time to move on.
     
  17. don 3426

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    Yea im with them, cause if its a small church it shouldnt have that much of a problem with helping. Plus i dont see how the building could pass an inspection without being weelchair accesable bcause my old school could not be movied into untill the ramp passed code.
     
  18. PastorLynn

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    Folks check out your own church. Is it fully handicapped accessible? It should be. Are there ramps for wheel chairs. Are the doors wide enough to get a power wheel chair through? Specially SS classrooms (32"). Are the restroom stalls power wheel chair accessible & is there room to manuever a power chair in the restrooms? Are there handrails on both side of the toilets? Some people only have the use of one arm. The sinks should be open underneath & high enough to get a power chair under it so the person can get up close to the sink to wash his/her hands. I know what I'm talking about. My wife is a paraplegic and uses a power chair.

    Our church built a Family Life Center in 89 & there is a ramp & the restrooms are fully accessible. 10 years ago the sanctuary & church building was completely remodeled including the restrooms & except for the baptistry & choir loft it is fully accessible.

    One thing we do not have enough of is Handicapped parking spots. We only have two and there are at least 5 people in our church that have disabled parking permits or license plates. And periodically remind non-disabled folks (perhaps in the Sunday bulletin or News letter) not to park in a handicapped spot. One Sunday night a lady parked in one & (she is not handicapped & does not have a permit) and got a ticket. Cost her $250.00. Church parking lots are not exempt from the law and the police will write tickets for violations the same as they will at a mall or supermarket parking lot.

    I don't know if churches are exempt from the Americans With Disabilities Act but I do know that all buildings, open to the public, built or remodeled after 1998 (I believe) must be in compliance. It costs very little to add ramps and widen doors & enlarge restroom stalls & install handrails, especially if members provide the labor.

    There are even websites that will tell yiou the proper length for a ramp according to the height that you have to go. It should be no more than a 5 % grade. Lets say your church has a front porch that is 4' high. Then your ramp would have to be 15' long & if you don't have that much room the ramp could be L shaped. Go up 2' then turn & go the rest of the distance. Ramps can be built out of wood, but concrete is much more durable.

    You may not have a wheelchair bound member today but you could tomorrow. Accidents and dibilitating illnesses hapen in a split second.
     
  19. Mommyperson

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    In Indiana, there is an exception to the rule.
    It's known as the GRANDFATHER CLAUSE.
    This applies to old buildings that are NOT up to code and were in business before this new "code"policy was put in place.
    HOWEVER..
    If ANY remodeling is done to ANY part of the building, it must be remodeled to make it handicap accessible.
    So, the church in question only fixed things like plumbing fixtures, so they could operate within the clause perameters.

    Essentially leaving out (literally) any and all who wish to be active, but can't due to a physical disability.

    Sad isn't it?
     
  20. don 3426

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    That is, I would think a church would have at leaste kept somming to your house if they wont make it possible for your husband to come.
     

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