Featured To spank or not to spank?

I understand what you are saying. Please remember that there is a very broad definition of "spanking." For some folks, it obviously means a swat with a bare hand on a well-diapered bottom. For others, "spanking" means something else entirely, it depends on your interpretation and experience.

There are Christians who take the "rod" literally and think that beating their children on the back with such is actually biblical. The OP did not define what he believed to be "spanking" in his first post, yet he clarified that his 3-week old didn't get spanked. To avoid confusion, it would have been better had he described what he was talking about.

 

One of the first things parents must do with a child is to break his will. I don't mean break his spirit.

But left undisciplined or unchecked, he will become one of those brats we hate to run across at the grocery or the restaurant.

The sooner a child learns that he will be under authority for a big part of his life, the better.

 

I believe spanking to be Biblical. It should be started (if needed) as soon as the child is old enough to understand the purpose of it. If the child isn't old enough to realize that the spanking is a result of their disobedience, then they are too young for it. As for stopping, I would say when the child becomes a teen where grounding or depriving them of privileges would be more effective.

Just an opinion since I failed as a father--so what do I know?

 

Trust God. Psalm 62:8.

I love you brother. God bless.

 

I never spanked my children, and they turned out just fine. This does not mean I did not believe in "spare the rod and spoil the child.." It is biblical, but what is that Old Testament quote saying? "Rod" has two means; a stick, a rod; also, a rule. Apply the rule by age.

Cheers,

Jim

 

I'll take it one step farther, I gave my kids swats at school and they were 17 - 18 yrs old. Their parents knew and the parents approved. I swated my last kid May 24, 2011. It was a kid who gave me trouble all year and he asked to be given the swats. They were "love taps." He stood up turned around and gave me a hug. Said he wanted his last swats in HS from me. He is now in the Marine Corps in Hawaii. I hear from him every two-three days....

 

12strings, I NEVER wanted to teach my children to fear pain at my hand. Ever. That was all I knew as a child and the fear of my parents violence didn't stop me from misbehaving. I was a naturally compliant child already. Fear of them only taught me to hide what I was doing if I thought it would set them off. And anything could even if that thing was okay the day before. No, I didn't want that for my kids.

It was time to spank, when my children were old enough to connect the consequence (spanking) to the behavior. At 9 months they wouldn't have understood that nearly as well as they understood "mom is going to take me down if I climb up". That was a consistant action, no fear required, that taught them there were places they shouldn't climb too as well as places where climbing was okay.

Why would anyone want their child to fear them? Respect yes. But respect and fear are two different things.

 

I got spanked as a kid and I turned out OK. But Mom used it until I was in 4th or 5th grade.

We use spanking as last resort. If all other things fail, we will pop our 4 year old in the behind and it usually gets the job done. In fact, I had to swat him last night at my grandparents' house.

I don't enjoy spanking my son. I hate having to do it, but I refuse to raise a tyrant. I also refuse to spank him out of anger--if I'm too angry, I don't do it--I wait or I get Momma to administer the discipline.

I never got the switch. But just about everybody who got the switch says the same thing: having to walk about the yard to select an appropriate switch makes one think about WHY they are getting the switch.

And I know the difference between discipline and abuse. We had a so-called man in our hometown nearly beat his son to death with a fence post because he (you guessed it) brought his daddy the wrong fence post-- I kid you not.

My final thought: we make for obsolute certain our son knows exactly why he got spanked. Popping them on the behind gets the attention--afterwards the instruction can commence.