To those who are married

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Jordan Kurecki, May 31, 2015.

  1. Jordan Kurecki

    Jordan Kurecki
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    I have some questions requests for you.

    1. How did God bring you and your spouse together?

    2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse?

    3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse?

    4. add anything else you feel relevant.
     
  2. Inspector Javert

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  3. Jordan Kurecki

    Jordan Kurecki
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  4. JonC

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    1. I really don’t know.
    2. None at all.
    3. Love is a verb, not a feeling.
    4. Be patient, and prayerfully take your time.
     
  5. Inspector Javert

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  6. evangelist6589

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    Christian Mingle
    Yes

    I suggest you register on Christian mingle, Cafe, and Eharmony. Also any local Christian single groups in your area. I suggest you build a profile, take good pics, write the word of God and keep on the watch for false converts. During my time on the sites I ran into plenty of them. I mean gals combing astrology with Christianity and such.

    I suggest you learn to be the right person instead of looking for the right person. I suggest you learn how to deal with rejection as you will experience plenty of that on the sites and at local dances with a Christian singles group. I suggest you pray hard and pray for Gods spouse for you.
     
    #6 evangelist6589, May 31, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2015
  7. Sapper Woody

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    This will sound disingenuous, but I mean it in all sincerity. But the best way to find a mate is to get involved in the ministry as much as you can, be faithful to church and in your personal walk with God, and allow Him to bring a mate to you.



    I was looking for a mate. I found several I thought were "the one". And honestly, we would have been a good match. But I found my wife when I wasn't looking.



    A neat analogy is that when God made Eve for Adam, Adam was asleep. He wasn't looking for a mate. He did the work God told him to do, and God took care of his need for companionship (and other needs).



    Bottom line, and it will sound pseudo-spiritual, is just trust God to bring her to you at the right time.
     
  8. Tom Bryant

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    1. She was working with the teens in the first church I pastored. We started going out to dinner just to talk. It grew from there.

    2. No, I had no doubts about it. My wife had been married before and was uncertain if us being married would ruin me in the ministry, so she had a little doubt.

    3. Just let it happen naturally or really supernaturally. You can date a woman and get to know what kind of woman you feel most comfortable and who feels comfortable with you.

    4. Don't settle for someone to marry. Wait until God brings you to the right woman. It will be better to be single for longer than be with a woman who will not bring you joy or who will not share your values.
     
  9. Jordan Kurecki

    Jordan Kurecki
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    I have gone through many cycles of giving up looking and then starting to again.

    I start to do it subconsciously even after I determine to stop and trust the Lord with it.

    I have had many times in prayer where I give the thing over to God, I guess I just need rest patiently in the Lord.
     
  10. JohnDeereFan

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    My secretary introduced us. She said she had a friend who was from Tennessee and thought we'd get along since I was from Alabama.

    No. I wasn't all that interested in God's will at the time. Although I was a Christian, I wouldn't say I was a backslidden Christian, just not a particularly good one. That changed when my oldest daughter was born in 1992. I decided that if Christianity was something I believed in strongly enough to raise my children in, then I needed to take it seriously in my own life or else, when they got older, they would call me out as a hypocrite.

    I would say don't wait for some big event or milestone or feeling. If she meets the Biblical qualifications for marriage and you want to marry her, then ask her.

    I would also caution you that marriage is joining two sinners together. So as bad as you think whatever she's doing is, you're probably doing worse to her.

    I saw an interview once with a couple who were married for 80 years. The interviewer asked the man to what he attributed their long marriage. He said, "Every morning, I wake up and I thank God for her and I ask Him to show me how to love her like Christ loves the Church".
     
  11. annsni

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    1. How did God bring you and your spouse together?

    Hubby was a leader in Campus Life/Youth For Christ and I was a student in the group. We knew each other through my high school years (he is 5 years older than me so he was in college when I was in high school and then working in my senior year). We began getting interested in each other about mid-way through my senior year but we had to wait until I graduated before we could date. We dated the day after graduation and by October, we were talking about getting married. We were married 2 years after my graduation.

    2. Did you have any doubts about whether or not it was God's will for you to marry your spouse?

    Not one.

    3. What advice can you give to a young man like myself who is seeking to find the right spouse?

    Be the person GOD wants you to be, be doing what you should be doing for Him. In doing this, you will be in His will. Get to know a bunch of girls - hang out with them in groups, be in ministry with them, see the qualities that the girls have and see what qualities you want in a spouse. By looking at some of the guys around me, I saw qualities that I definitely wanted in a spouse and those that I definitely didn't want. As I looked at my husband, I realized he had all of the qualities I wanted. :)

    4. add anything else you feel relevant.

    Take your time to find a girl. The right one is worth waiting for!
     
  12. blessedwife318

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    1. We met on the side of the road and 7 months later we were married.
    OK so seriously we met online through eharmony and had been talking 5 weeks prior to meeting in person. We spent a lot of time talking about doctrinal issues making sure we were on the same page before we really got involved emotionally.

    2. No, I knew on our first meeting in real life that he was the one for me and that was only confirmed when he asked for my hand 5 weeks later.

    3. Know what you are looking for, have the qualities and doctrines and ideals that are important to you in mind. Once you find her and she reciprocate your feelings STOP looking. If and only if it does not work out should you start looking to see if you can find a better match.

    4. Be the person that your future wife would want to marry. Cast a wide net, as Evan suggested (yes I am agreeing with him on something) get on a couple dating sites. I was on 3 when I met my husband. But at the same time be involved in your church as you never know what avanue she might show up on.
    Also as a women advice make sure your intentions are clear. Don't just hang out, or talk, or whatever the casual lingo is, if you want to see if it can work romantically let her know that is your intention. There is nothing worse as a women then having no idea why a guy is paying attention to you but not moving forward in any way.
     
  13. Revmitchell

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    We met in Sunday School class

    None

    Get your finances in order first, serve God first, be willing to have expectations and needs not met all the time.
     
  14. Crabtownboy

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    We met at church. I was about 18 months old and she was about 12 months old. Our parents went to the same village church.

    No, we had no doubts.

    Watch how she treats her father, her brothers, store clerks, waiters in restaurants. If she does not treat them politely and with respect she will not treat you politely and with respect.

    Pray and study God's word together.

    May you have a wonderful life together.
     
  15. Zenas

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    Good advice. However, I would enlarge on No. 3. Yes love is a verb but the feeling had better be there or else you will soon tire of "loving."
     
  16. HeDied4U

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    Okay, fire away.....



    Sounds like something out of "You've Got Mail," but we really did meet in an online chat room. :type:



    No doubts whatsoever, which was actually kind of strange. After my first marriage went down in flames, I told myself that I was going to wait two years before I began dating again. Yet here I was, about eight months later, out on my first date with Kris. On the way home after that first date, I told myself that that's the girl for me.



    Pray, pray, pray. And after you've finished praying, pray some more. :praying: Also, find someone who is of like faith. One of the reasons my first marriage failed was because I was baptist and she was charismatic. Talk about oil and water. :eek:


    Did I mention do a lot of praying? Also, when you do find that special someone, cherish every moment you have together. You never know when they will be called home to glory. :tear:
     
    #16 HeDied4U, May 31, 2015
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  17. evangelist6589

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    This is exactly what I did. I registered on eharmony, christian mingle, and christiancafe.com. I found a local christian singles ministry (meetup.com) and I attended a church with a active singles ministry where I could meet people, plus I was involved in my street evangelism ministry.

    I spoke with dozens of females via Skype, FaceTime, instant messaging before meeting my spouse. I also danced with and dated a female from the singles ministry.

    Jordan I could not have met anyone had I stuck to just using Facebook and praying about it. It took prayer and action.
     
    #17 evangelist6589, May 31, 2015
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  18. Rolfe

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    Patience. You may be ready to find your Wife, but your future Wife may not be ready to find you yet.
     
  19. Sapper Woody

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    So, God's incapable of bringing the person He has set aside for you to you? How did people do it for 6 millennia?



    Honestly, actively looking for a mate is the worst course of action, imo. Keep your eyes open, yes. But actively looking is not a good thing.
     
  20. evangelist6589

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    Okay sapper the next time someone is out of a job tell them to stop job hunting.
     

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